Well folks, this recent TWAB has seemingly caused even more community outrage than what it probably set out to resolve.
The issue at hand, once again, is sunsetting. It's a topic of conversation that has continued from the time it was announced, through the time it was implemented, and now after a few seasons of it having taken effect. In this particular case, sunsetting in relation to reissued loot.
Note: If you are from /all, I left a small section at the end explaining what sunsetting is. Welcome!

Forsaken and Shadowkeep Sunsetting

Since the beginning of sunsetting, one of the top complaints was the sunsetting of loot tied to the Forsaken and Shadowkeep expansions. Some feedback was specific to Forsaken and Shadowkeep by name, while some said that DLC loot should not be sunset. While not the main topic of discussion here, it should be noted that some players may have different interpretations of what "DLC" includes, so keep that in mind.
Nevertheless, Bungie sunset the loot anyway, much to the disappointment of others.

Reissuing of Forsaken and Shadowkeep Loot

First, I want to make something perfectly clear here: a lot in the community did request that Bungie add new perk options to weapons if they were going to be re-issued. This is what Bungie has done in the reissuing of Dreaming City and Moon weapons by introducing them with new perk options, some tied to specific dungeons.
Yet, this still triggered pain points in players for a few reasons:

1. Players are unable to raise the infusion caps of existing weapons and armor that they have.
2. Due to (1), players having to re-grind for weapons and armor that they already have completely invalidates grind-time already invested.
3. Not all loot was reissued: loot that could be targeted via the Lectern of Enchantment was completely ignored. This leaves a lot of expansion weapons still sunset.
4. For weapons that were reintroduced, there is no guarantee that players will be able to obtain a roll as-good or better than their existing rolls.

Let us not forget the blaring issue here: Forsaken and Dreaming City loot was sunset just two (2) months ago, and the player base is now being asked to re-grind again for the sake of grinding.

Content Creator Fatigue and Unrest

In what appears to be a rare instance in Destiny's entire franchise history, the player base and content creators are more or less completely united on the feelings of sunsetting. The recent TWAB has functioned as a tipping point.
While some do not care for or do not agree with content creators, they are still very important for a video game. Content creators were responsible for Among Us going from virtually no players to having hundreds of thousands on Steam alone, and millions when considering its other platforms. The truth is, content creators function effectively like a marketing engine for games. While they are playing a game they enjoy, they are also advertising the game to their audiences. Content creators largely do not play games they do not enjoy, and do not play games their audience does not enjoy.
For the past two months now, many prominent content creators have taken to their respective platforms to discuss sunsetting, and with the exception of perhaps CammyCakes and a small handful of others, most have changed from being pro-sunsetting to indifferent or outright against it. These content creators collectively account for all areas of the game, as some focus on PvE, PvP, or both.
Some were against it from the start and had to endure loads of "internet abuse" for putting their foot down so early. Here are some examples:

• Aztecross - "Dear Bungo, your players feel ignored."
• Aztecross - In his most recent video about the TWAB, he comments his distaste for reissued loot.
• CammyCakes - "Why Destiny players HATE sunsetting | How it can improve"
• Datto - "Datto's Thoughts on Destiny Going Into 2021 - More Destiny Isn't Enough"
• Datto - "Datto Talks About Weapon Sunsetting Yet Again - Season 13 Update"
• Evanf1997 - "Destiny 2 Desperately Needs To Change" (Community feedback piece, includes feedback from other creators as well.)
• Fallout Plays - (Not much I can specifically link to here as he has not made a very opinionated video or tweet recently, but he has mentioned a few times on stream his frustration with not being able to infuse his previous Astral Horizon up to the new cap. Here is his Twitter instead.)
• Firing Range - Answers community questions, some which include sunsetting.
• Firing Range - "Destiny 2 Sunsetting Concerns - Recorded May 19th, 2020"
• Fireteam Chat - "Destiny 2's Sunsetting is Bad - Fireteam Chat Ep. 290"
• Fireteam Chat - In episode 291, they talked more about sunsetting.
• G1 Gigz - Doesn't have a particular comment about sunsetting, but it appears he believes in Bungie from a recent tweet.
• Gladd - "I feel like sunsetting isn't quite what we had hoped for [...]"
• Gothalion - "I honestly think they should reissue all gear. Get rid of sunsetting and go back to the drawing board."
• Hush - "it's goodbye for now"
• Hush - "goodbye, for now."
• iFrostBolt - "SUNSETTING WAS A MISTAKE! Shatterdive Nerf, Reissued Loot, Etc" - This is really worth a watch. He plays through old Bungie ViDocs, starting at 0:24:00. Bonus moment at 00:41:00, where he discovers but does not realize the Destiny Content Vault being previewed.
• KackisHD - Screenshot of a tweet from a Bungie developer and some commentary.
• Mtashed - "Eh. I think sunsetting + reissuing gear is the final straw for me."
• Mtashed - A video he posted after the previous tweet. A lot more charged.
• nKuch - "I'm convinced sunsetting is one big elaborate troll, or maybe like an early april fools joke."
• Paul Tassi - "Everyone Agrees, ‘Destiny 2’ Needs To Sunset Sunsetting"
• Paul Tassi - "Sunsetting Is Going Off The Rails"
• Real Gamer Hour - "RGH Episode #21: Destiny 2 is In Big Trouble"
• Sweaticle - "The Decline of Destiny"
• ZkMushroom - "I thought sunsetting was supposed to be a way to rotate guns and change the meta, not to make players grind the exact same weapons again.."
• (If you know a content creator that has spoken recently about sunsetting, please let me know so I can add them to this list!)

Bonus: In Bungie's tweet for the TWAB, there is quite a bit of feedback about sunsetting and reissued loot.
This should be a no-brainer: content creators actively criticizing the game is not a good look. Even worse are content creators announcing that they are taking breaks from Destiny for an indefinite amount of time, or outright quitting. This markets to their audiences that the game is not fun to play. Destiny should be a fun game.

Players Putting Down Destiny

Due to the introduction of sunsetting, it has fatigued players to the point that they have quit the game, indefinitely.
Joe Blackburn made a point in his "Rewards" TWAB post to the effect of wanting to make every season a good season to get started in Destiny. I feel that this goal was already partially achieved through the availability of viable seasonal loot, as well as the availability of targeted loot farms, such as Nightfall-specific loot (which is now sunset). Sunsetting has the opposite effect as intended, as any returning player will face the reality that their gear is no longer viable. Without sunsetting, they may have not had the newest gear, but their current gear could be used in the meantime. Sunsetting means that all old gear is obsolete, period. When Bungie raises the power floor next season, all gear sunset at the end of Season of Arrivals will likely not be viable even in the base Strike playlist, leaving only the Crucible and possibly the PvE portion of Gambit.
Even targeted loot farms such as the Wrathborn Hunts are no longer appealing. It no longer makes logical sense to put any more time than absolutely necessary to obtain a weapon, because any additional time is additional waste through sunsetting. I can personally attest to this. I have given up on getting a Blast Battue with Spike Grenades, Clown Cartridge, and Chain Reaction. There is no point in me wasting time grinding for a perfect roll when the weapon will be sunset. I surely am not going to waste my time grinding a Blast Battue just to have it sunset and then reissued so that I can have the pleasure of grinding it again.
Player fatigue will continue to build as seasons go on. Paul Tassi argued this point perfectly. Every single season will be about loss instead of gain. Season of Dawn weapons are about to head out the door. Will these weapons be reissued two months later with the expectation that players grind them again? How about Season of the Worthy? Seventh Seraph weapons are some of the sleekest looking in the game and work well with shaders. They are also an integral component of the ecosystem of Warmind Cells. Will these weapons be sunset? Hopefully sunsetting will be reversed by then.
We are now two seasons into sunsetting in its current state. Seven months and counting. The feedback is immense and the damage it is causing to the game is becoming irreparable with players permanently quitting and content creators seriously considering whether they should abandon ship and move on to something else.
Bungie, for once I believe you need to actually listen to the community instead of simply hearing. Sunsetting, while may have made logical sense in some respects, has been a complete and utter failure in implementation. It is time to revert sunsetting and return to the drawing board. Try something else. This is not the way. It really feels like the game is collapsing in on itself, like a black hole. As a person who really got hooked on this game in August 2020, it is a horrible sight to see.

Addendum

I am amazed and truly grateful for all the feedback and attention given to this post. It is my hope that this catches the attention of the community managers Cozmo23 and dmg04, as it provides yet another hub of community and content creator feedback.
I spent my entire morning reading all of your comments. There are simply too many stories of friends losing other friends and clanmates, one-by-one, due to the state that the game is in. Personally, I cannot even get friends to try the game in its current state. They refuse to touch it. Sunsetting has scared new players away.
It is my hope that this is the turning point for Bungie.
For users visiting from /all who are not familiar with the game:

• Sunsetting is a term used to describe the level-capping (levels being called power) of gear inside of Destiny. Since gear can only be infused (brought up) to a certain level, it will reach a point where it is no longer useful in end-game activities, or activities period.
• Attempting to use a capped weapon will cause damage dealt to enemies to be significantly lower.
• Attempting to use a capped armor piece will cause damage received from enemies to be significantly higher.

For users who think that I should have written more about the community and less about content creators:
Got you covered. This post has a section on content creators because it seems that content creators and a majority of the community are seemingly unified on this one issue, unseen since Curse of Osiris.
I wrote the following a little over a month ago, in response to the "Rewards" TWAB by Joe Blackburn: Bungie, I really appreciate the “Rewards” update, but it seems that some community sentiments were completely missed
A note about Bungie Forums:
In the Destiny 2 forums, almost every post in the top ~10 is about sunsetting. Just wanted to include a shout-out to those folks as well!

It's getting harder and harder to believe bungie doesn't hate Warlocks. Between all the direct and indirect Shadebinder nerfs this season (a subclass which was strong but not op in PVE, and greatly below the Titan and Hunter subclasses in PVP) why is there such a disparity in abilities?
The Warlock melee has slightly more range, but a travel time, making it easy to dodge, additionally with no way to shatter and the melee's undocumented damage nerf, its now impossible to do enough damage to kill someone with a primary outside of just meleeing them on warlock, defeating the purpose of it's only range advantage.
The Titan melee on the other hand is instant, gives full freeze duration, and makes crystals which they can shatter to do still insane AOE damage, AND also shatter to synergize for even more grenade energy (and melee energy if they run the other aspect). All of this is in addition to the Titans original melee ability that gives insane movement options/can one shot by throwing you into a wall or off the map.
This isn't even discussing the rest of the subclass imbalances, yet the changes we get this season are a single buff to the already super strong hunter melee, and multiple warlock nerfs to hammer it down even further below the other classes. What's the balance justification for these changes other than hurting Warlocks?
Edit: Since this has blown up a bit there are some things I want to clarify; I play all three classes equally and genuinely enjoy the power fantasy of each. I by no means am calling for a nerf to the new Titan aspect, I think it actually solves the biggest problem Stasis Titan has in pve (having a pretty lack luster melee that doesn't synergize with the rest of the kit). Now you can make crystals with the melee, which you can shatter for grenade energy, use for ad clear and it pairs very well with charged with light/heart of inmost light for ability spam.
The issue I'm trying to bring to light is the disparity with which things have been handled in terms of class balance. The way Warlock kit functions is such that it has no way to slow and relies entirely on freezing to get rolling, along with no way to shatter other than shooting frozen targets. Due to this Warlock cannot reliably benefit from Whisper of Shards for grenade regeneration and was dependent on Iceflare Bolts, which has now had its grenade regeneration ability removed. Then for PVP I'm not disagreeing that there are benefits and negatives to each melee ability, but the reason warlock melee was nerfed in the first place was because of how terrible it feels to get instant frozen for so long with no counter play, something Titans can now do yet with the original duration, an easier time shattering and all while having all the other additional benefits I listed above. On top of all this the new reduced damage to frozen targets unfairly hurts Warlocks the most due to not having any means of shattering outside of shooting.
Finally when it's time for balancing we get massive (mostly deserved, but as always too far) Warlock nerfs after just over a week and the only other nerf has been a slap on the wrist to Hunter shatterdrive after 2 months. All while nothing has been done to the Titan roaming super which is still active despite having been activated at the beginning of my post, and having damage resist that's even more ridiculous than the other roaming supers in the game. Now with the new season Hunters get another buff to their amazing melee ability thats basically a thrown sential shield in terms of tracking and Warlock gets a new slew of unneeded nerfs to the point that it now directly hurts the synergy of the subclass in all aspects of play. I just want all of the classes to have their new toys be fun, viable, and be as (relatively as stasis can be) balanced, yet time after time it feels like Warlocks hurt bungie when they were a kid and they will never let it go. VOG coming back must have brought back memories of all that pushing Aethon off the edge.
Edit to my Edit: Alright Alright Alright, it's a new day and I decided to offer some realistic solutions for rebalancing stasis in hopes some get implemented, rather than just wasting time complaining on the internet. I won't talk about the nerf to the Warlock melee (no the new one), which was reduced from 90 to 38, as it was an undocumented change and I am for now giving bungie the benefit of the doubt and assuming it is a bug. I'm also not going to talk about any direct nerfs to Titan or Hunter subclasses, just ways to bring up Warlock onto a more even footing. Also warning this somehow ended up even longer than my last Edit.
1) Let Whisper of Shards give grenade regeneration for killing frozen targets, not just crystals, to counter the nerf to Iceflare bolts.
As it stood I can understand why Iceflare needed a nerf, it was frankly a must pick for any stasis Warlock between its 3 fragment slots, grenade regeneration and the ability to freeze extra targets; but the grenade regeneration utility needs to move to something else for the sake of build synergy. Since frozen targets are relatively more common than generating ice crystals (my Heart of Inmost light Titan would beg to differ), make the timer last something like 1 second per frozen kill rather than the 5 seconds you get per broken crystal. Alternatively give this ability an internal cooldown if you don't want us to have 100% uptime on it (something very easily achievable on Titan)
2) Make all freezes in PVP last the same amount of time ~1 second (with the exception of supers).
I see this change happening inevitably at some point in the future, but I'll talk about it anyway. Frozen from whatever source is incredibly powerful and shouldn't arbitrarily last 5 times as long because you were slowed before hand (something Warlock inherently struggles to do). Frankly even if things were equal timer wise Warlock still suffers more due to lack of shattering and the multiple steps needed to get kills with the super, but I'll settle for parity (example: you freeze and kill someone with shadebinder, the kill spawns an Iceflare bolt that freezes someone nearby, due to the nature of Shadebinder, by the time you heavy and wait for the travel time in order to shatter that person, they have already thawed out).
3) Make the Shadebinder in super travel a little bit quicker and make the heavy shatter attack travel faster.
As much as I hate suggesting any kind of buff to a roaming super, Shadebinder is just too dam slow for PVP. It only has a projectile attack and as such can't propel itself forward for momentum like most other roaming supers/has no movement tech unique to it like icarus dash or ionic blink for speed (other than float longer which makes you slower overall). Its also the only super in the game that requires two steps to get a kill (freeze and then shatter), even the other stasis supers have a method of 1 shotting non frozen targets: Titans can light attack with their melee and Hunters can direct impact you with their Kama, all while producing other unique benefits to their class (Titan can create ice crystals to take advantage of even after their super is over and hunter gets a slowing tornado for long after to slow and freeze which they can build into).
4) Personally I would like it if the Warlock super upon ending did one larger sized shatter wave (think the Aoe freeze effect Titan stasis has on pop, but at the end and for shattering).
This would alleviate some of the issues with the last point and also help with another one of the supers problems, that using the freeze projectiles uses super energy while shattering does not, so you often exit your super having sent out a projectile to freeze something that you can't conviently shatter. Due to this probably requiring an animation change I imagine it's far less likely to happen (but just think about how cool it could be to freeze a whole bunch of ads while in the super and then letting one final massive shatter wave kill everything, sorry I digress).
5) Remove all the debuffs players receive from the slow effect other than.. you know slowing.
For anyone that doesn't know the slowed effect does more than just reduce your movement speed, it also: shuts off movement abilities (can't dodge, ionic blink ect.), reduces ability regeneration, reduces aim-down-sights speed, reduces weapon reload speed, weapon handling, weapon kick direction and weapon accuracy. PVP in this game is all about movement and a slowing effect is already powerful enough, why does it also need to make it incredibly difficult to aim, shoot, regenerate abilities and prevent you from using movement abilities to escape from it? There's a reason why there's a sentiment amongst top tier PVP players that slowing is about as free a kill as being frozen and making this change would bring the three Stasis subclasses more in line with each other, while also reducing the oppressiveness of stasis in the PVP sandbox overall.
There's a few more minor things I could add, but I think everyone gets the point by now if you somehow managed to stick around for this long (that Behemoth is just about coming out of his super). Bottom line is I fucking love this game and I want it to succeed. I want to have fun be it in PVE or lord save me in PVP, and I want to be able to do that with all the classes, not feel like I'm forced to play one (or two) over the other due to what feels like a constant stream of either knee-jerk reaction nerfs that go too far, or out of the blue unnecessary nerfs with no buffs or rebalancing taken into consideration. Warlocks aren't fusion rifles, you can't just nerf them without cause because you feel like it.

Warlocksaren'tfusionrifles

*We may be anonymous strangers on the internet, but we have one thing in common. We may be a world apart, but we're here together!*
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**Welcome to the 24 hour pledge!**
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I'm pledging myself to not drinking today, and invite you to do the same.
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Maybe you're new to /stopdrinking and have a hard time deciding what to do next. Maybe you're like me and feel you need a daily commitment or maybe you've been sober for a long time and want to inspire others.
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It doesn't matter if you're still hung over from a three day bender or been sober for years, if you just woke up or have already completed a sober day. For the next 24 hours, lets not drink alcohol!
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**This pledge is a statement of intent.** Today we don't set out *trying* not to drink, we make a conscious decision *not to drink*. It sounds simple, but all of us know it can be hard and sometimes impossible. The group can support and inspire us, yet only one person can decide if we drink today. Give that person the right mindset!
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What happens if we can't keep to our pledge? We give up or try again. And since we're here in /stopdrinking, we're not ready to give up.
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**What this is:** A simple thread where we commit to not drinking alcohol for the next 24 hours, posting to show others that they're not alone and making a pledge to ourselves. Anybody can join and participate at any time, you do not have to be a regular at /stopdrinking or have followed the pledges from the beginning.
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**What this isn't:** A good place for a detailed introduction of yourself, directly seek advice or share lengthy stories. You'll get a more personal response in your own thread.
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A link to the current Daily Check-In post can always be found near the top of the sidebar.
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Happy day my sober friends!! We made it to Friday!! Yay!! Y’all only have to put up with me for one more day after this!! Haha!
I have learned so much from all of you this week – namely – you love your pets, kids and music! Well, I don’t have kids but I do like music and I do have pets so we’re going to do something different today.
First off, here is a song I think is appropriate as I wind down my hosting duties. The first time I heard this song was in the movie Napoleon Dynamite, which (don't judge) is like one of my all-time favorite movies. I can pretty much recite the whole thing. The song is called “We’re Going To Be Friends” by The White Stripes. I wanted to share this because, well, I like to think that we all have become friends! I know I appreciate each and every last one of you. I’m going to leave it at that for now…more sappiness to come tomorrow.
Next up, we’re going to play a game. In addition to your pledge to not drink today, I want you to describe your pet’s name (past, present, fictional, whatever) without saying their name. Then we can all try to guess your pet’s name in the comments!!
Come on – it’ll be fun!! Here, I’ll go first…
My dog (who you met yesterday) is Piglet’s BFF.
My previous dog was the crab in Disney’s “The Little Mermaid”.
My other previous dog was an American made motorcycle brand.
Any guesses?? Leave your comments in your pledge post and give us clues to your animal’s names…
And with that, I wish everyone a great Friday and know that IWNDWYT. Love to you all and see you tomorrow for one last hurrah… of me hosting… ‘cause I ain’t going anywhere, otherwise!!
PS: If you have 30 or more days of sobriety and you’re interested in hosting the Daily Check-In (DCI), please reach out to u/SaintHomer for more information.

Hello Reddit! Forgive me as I am new to the online community. Just wanted to tell my story and maybe get some input. I [37F] accidentally found out last month my husband [38M] was using 'work trips' as an excuse to sleep with his also married coworker who lives across the country. When I say accidentally; he sent me a screen shot of Amazon purchases for our children and included at the bottom of the photo was a delivery to this woman. So yes, the worried wife in me checked his search history and email. It was all right there! I learned his November trip was a romantic getaway but this current one is luxurious! A spa resort complete with couples massages, couples cooking classes and monogramed bathrobes from etsy. He mailed her a box of gifts a few days ago for Christmas (how sweet), he purchases sexy lingerie, sent her money on venmo and even started planning a January trip to Las Vegas. I was furious when I learn all this but I kept my composure.
My plan: He left this morning for his 'work trip' but before he left I gathered all evidence of his affair. I spent 4 weeks collecting emails, credit card statements, reservations and confirmations. I wrote him a 10 page letter, put it in an envelope and taped it inside the lining of his suitcase. I plan on sending a group text to him and his mistress right after check in telling them to enjoy their trip. I will also inform them that a letter is in his suitcase and that I want a divorce. I wrote a special section just for her and I want to make sure she sees it so I will be emailing her the letter as well.
He is currently in the air. My group text goes out this evening. Stay tuned...
UPDATE!
His flight landed 1 1/2 hours ago. He told me he would text me when he landed and he has yet to do so. I have text him twice, they were delivered but not read. I checked our phone records and he text both me and her during his lay over. His email shows no Uber receipt from his final destination airport to his hotel. She must have picked him up. Something I probably should have clarified in my OP. She lives in the state he is visiting. So he flew alone.
I will be sending a group text to both him and his mistress in 2 hours as that will be 4pm their time and check in.
UPDATE #2
Sent pictures of our children and he did not respond. FYI he is in the middle of the desert.
My texts are going through green which puts a monkey wrench in my plan for a group text to him and his mistress. Need suggestions. Should I call the hotel? Connect right to their room. I worked so hard for this, it has to be tonight. HELP!
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UPDATE #3
Thank you to everyone standing by and waiting. My best friend has come to my house to help me through this. It seems my texts are going through green (undelivered) but when my friend tried it is blue and delivered.
HE HAS BLOCKED ME! I guess that helps his guilt.
The plan now is to call the hotel. Will wait a few minutes after check in to make the call. Very soon. Please stand by.
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UPDATE #4
Like most of you predicted he does not care, He had zero answers for my questions. That was. the mot hurtful part. But guess what, I have all the emotional support and economic support so i'm not mad. Every question I asked he had no response because his mistress was sitting there. I suspect when he is home alone with me, his answers will be different. I have made sure that he will not emotionally and financially fuck me because I have secured support from family and friends. He can go FUCK himself!!!!!!
UPDATE #5
Called his hotel room. Talked to his mistress and finally lost my shit. He ended up calling me a few minutes later and had zero empathy. I'm shocked, but I'm not. He said a divorce was in order and fought me on nothing. I expected him to be sad, he was not, but thats ok. I started packing up his shit, I have some great friend who helped me put everything in the garage. Good riddance? I guess so...
The Morning After
I wake this morning broken. My house is in shambles as I went on a rampage yesterday ripping photos off the wall, throwing his stuff in piles on the floor and breaking random objects in anger. Now that I've had a nights sleep I feel that I am a bit clearer in my thinking as I analyze the 'conversation' we had yesterday. He was different on the phone. That was not the man I know, but who was the man I've known? Because everything was a lie. The only thing he cared about on the phone was getting the kids. Which is perfectly ok, he should want to see his kids. But he refused to answer any question I had or admit to anything. I personally feel his lack of remorse was because he was sitting in front of his mistress. If I confronted him at home this would not have been his reaction. When he comes home Monday night I expect to see a different man. Also, in my conversation with the mistress I learned she is recently separated.
I called my mom. That was hard. While she and my dad have always been loving and supporting it was hard to make that phone call. I felt like a failure. I know it wasn't my doing but to admit that I made a poor choice in a spouse was difficult. Was this all because of a mistake I made 13 years ago? Honestly it doesn't matter. I have 2 days to empty my house of his things.
Who do I tell? Do I call his dad? Do I tell his mother? Best friend? Work buddies? I wish there was a manual on how to do this because I'm lost. Even with all my preparation I'm still humiliated.
Luckily he did not take his house keys when he left. So no need to change the locks, I'll be removing his keys and sending him on his way. I don't plan on seeing him when he gets home Monday night. Doors are locked, everything you own is in the garage, have your people talk to my people and I'll see you never.
Preparing for the Return
My friends and family have been wonderful. I am so fortunate to have such great people in my life. Yesterday they came to help me move all of his clothing to the garage. His collectibles were all packed up and sitting here, waiting to be appraised. It took a very long time and I was exhausted afterwards; but it was necessary. I honestly don't think he expects me to have gone to such great lengths to remove him from my life. Because I was so emotional when I confronted him there is a chance that he thinks I will want to reconcile. Fat chance, buddy. His flights lands a little before 10pm tonight. When he Ubers back home the doors will be locked. He told me on the phone he was just getting his car and leaving. I will be holding him to that. Something I should have mentioned earlier, the house is in my name only. He had no credit when we first started looking so everything is in my maiden name and purchased by me. Health insurance, car insurance, cell phones, utilities are all in my name. The only thing his name is on is his car. I think he realizes now that could all come back to bite him. I don't want a messy divorce, I'm willing to listen to his demands and try and meet in the middle on as many things as possible. He obviously doesn't care anymore so I'm going to do my best to not care and treat this like a business deal.
Update late tonight on his return. Thank you to everyone following and showing support. You are appreciated.
The Dust has Settled
It's been a few days since his return. For a man who so diligently planned a secret retreat with his mistress he took no time to plan for his return 'home.' He has been living in the basement since Monday. I allowed him to watch the children open gifts on Christmas but he has since returned to the basement. We have contacted 3 mediators and have appointments next week to start the mediation process. It's obviously over. We had a conversation/argument upon his return and he actually asked about reconciliation. I laughed. I laughed uncontrollably. Of course he pushed blame stating that our marriage has been over for a long time. Well, that's news to me. His actions of an affair were selfish and avoidant. He didn't want to have that hard conversation with me about counseling or divorcing and this route was easier and a lot more fun. Let's face it, he likes the attention of 2 women loving and pining over him. Well, I'm not longer playing that game. She wins, and oh what a prize he is! I have been amicable about talking about the terms of our separation. My biggest hang up is her. He may continue seeing her and I have questions about her character. What kind of woman/mother cheats with a man she knows is married and knows has children? When I confronted her on the phone last Saturday and asked her that question she was silent. I asked if she was 'sorry' and it was as if the line went dead. That kind of person I do not want around my children. People who show no remorse, especially when they are in the wrong, are not kind people.
I have found solace in friends and family and thank you to everyone's recommendation of ChumpLady. I'm half way through the book, read through the website and find it so helpful. Thank you again to everyone. I can't believe the outpouring of support. To the trolls, sorry you think I'm an unfit and inattentive wife, but cheaters cheat because they want to. Thank you again to all, not sure if you want a mediation update or if my story is over. Either way, I'm happy to have 'met' you all.
Where is the 'fault'?
If you listen to the books and advice always given about cheaters it all says the same thing: It's not you, they made a choice. MY STBX insists things were bad. While I don't think we were Pam and Jim or Lucy and Ricky, I think things were good. This process has made me review who I am, who I've been and who I want to be. Could I have made changes? Yes. Was I perfect? Absolutely not. But my decisions and actions were never detrimental to our marriage. They were more like sacrifices. And now I'm having those sacrifices thrown at me and I'm being called neglectful. Is all this about attention? A narcissistic need to be the apple of someone's eye? Him and the AP are now blissfully in the honeymoon stage. Vacations, late night phone calls like teenagers, present buying, etc. But what happens when the other shoe drops? What happens when she sees that he has very little patience with children? That he will walk past a a sink full of dishes completely blind to them? When he doesn't pay the phone bill for 2 months because he is spending money on silly gadgets? What then? While it's not my problem, I'm sure his AP will take issue with these things. Perhaps then she will be put in the situation I've been in for a decade. Should she be the glue and hold it all together or should she neglect responsibilities for his neediness? I've been told by him ( someone who is having a relationship and spending large sums of money on someone else) that I'm at fault. Perhaps, but what about the decades of cleaning up your messes? Maybe if I would have had 2 hour conversations with him every night things would be different, but to be honest, I'm happy I'm here. Now reflecting back I see how under appreciated I was. How neglected I was. All these year I thought I was helping but I was really being taken advantage of and this affair is no different.
Just a word of advice to all the mess cleaners, excuse makers, and spouse sheltering people reading this. Stop. Stop now. I've learned that all the 'helping' is simply them learning how to manipulate you. Draw that line in the sand. Prepare for an uncomfortable situation when they start to stumble under the pressures of real life. But don't lose yourself. I lost myself years ago and it's not a place you want to be.
Mediation & The Move.
We had our first mediation appointment via Zoom yesterday. It was very amicable, but only because I don't want to fight and I just want this to be over. He apparently wants nothing. Not the house, not the furniture, not what he's entitled to of my pension; he just wants to be done as well. As I've been packing up things in the house to declutter I've been offering him things, but he wants nothing. I suspect the moment our marriage is dissolved he will be packing up his collectables and clothing and driving across the country to live with her. I guess I should be ok with this as I don't want to be married to him anymore. It just kills me that he will be moving in with her and helping her raise her 2 children while mine are fatherless. It makes me so angry. Seething. The man who was abandoned by his father is now doing the same thing. Something he said would never ever happened because of the mental issues it has given him today. Well, it looks like that, as well as mostly everything else, was a lie. Again, I take solace in the fact that their honeymoon phase will be short lived. Reality will smack them both in the face and she will realize that he can be more hurt than help.
While I wish him well and hope the best, our kids deserve more than a Christmas/Easteone week in the summer father. No dad at basketball games, cub scouts, birthday parties and school plays. Meanwhile AP will have him and her children's biological father. I guess nothing in life is fair and my boys will have to learn that lesson early than I had hoped.
He's Gone.
My STBX left yesterday morning to visit her. I told him to go. I didn't want to spend NYE with him and our COVID circle friends who we celebrate with have zero interest in seeing him either. He booked a flight 30 minutes after I told him to go. My only stipulation was that he is back for this weekend as it's my birthday and I really need a day to myself. I've watched the kids for 3 weekends now while he went to see his mistress, I thought I at least deserved my birthday to relax. He text me while he was boarding that he won't be home for my birthday. Well then... He claims when he booked this he booked a return for the evening of my birthday. When he tried to change it he was put on standby, it would cost $1000 to change, it was a red eye etc. The excuses kept coming. He apparently does not realize I have access to the internet as well and flights are less than $300 with the airline he flew. I told him this and he said those flights weren't there when he booked (lies) and he will take care of it. I just want him to be honest. If you don't want to be here for my birthday, just say it. If you don't want to spend the day with your children, just tell me. I can't force you to be a parent. I told him the flights were available and affordable, it's his choice to rebook. Ball is in your court. That's all I can do, right? Stay tuned for an update on his return this weekend..
NYE Nightmare.
It was 12:40am on NYE and there was still no call from him. I was angry for no other reason than I explained to the kids that even though daddy wasn't with us he would call at midnight to talk to them and wish them a Happy New Year. I was made to be a liar. So, I text my STBX and his excuse was, 'they are with their friends, I didn't want to bother them'. Excuse me? Bother them? You mean you didn't want your kids to bother you is what you are really saying. If I was across the country on NYE without my kids I would have called and done the countdown with them via facetime. I think most parents would. But not him. He said, "If you would have told me that you told the kids I'd call then I would have." He tried to spin this on me, that I created this mess. Why do I have to tell you that you need to call your children at midnight? This small act said a lot to me. Our children are not a priority. I guess he didn't want to ruin his perfect vacation at his new girlfriend's house with her children. He has a nice new family now. Today is my birthday and he returns this evening. I told him in my NYE text that I will speak to him on the 12th, our next mediation meeting because I'm done. I tried to be civil for the kids but he is not putting forth the effort for them.
Liar Liar, Pants on Fire.
The past few days have been strange. We rarely talk (a decision on both our parts) and when we do it's about mediation, plans moving forward, or the kids. We have been civil and communicating well about those items. We are also friendly in front of the children as not to upset them. The situation is strange because we are getting along, there is no arguing, it's a shared focus to just get through mediation and divorce. That's fine by me. Last night while I was cleaning the kitchen I heard him on the phone in the basement. I guess he didn't realize the door was left open by one of the children. Not wanting to be a part of the drama anymore I went to close the door. At that point I heard him tell her how 'crazy' I have been acting. Excuse me? We don't speak and when we do it's very civil. How is that crazy? Well, he proceeded to tell her about a conversation we had and he lied about everything. While the conversation part was true he told her I exploded, I was in a rage, I was crying etc. None of that was true. He explained how he laughed in my face at my rage, also not true because there was no rage. I had told him awhile back before the NYE debacle that I would start dating eventually and he proceeded to tell her that I was bragging about guys I'm meeting. So far from the truth. I slammed the basement door. I'm sure he knows I heard. So I ask, 'Why the need to lie and make me a villain?' We aren't staying together, I have no reason to fight with you anymore, that's why we are paying a mediator. Why start lying to your new girlfriend that you love? How is that a good way to start a relationship? I don't know what is happening here...
This is my concern: This woman and him are in love and want to start a life together. Ok, thats fine, God bless and congrats. But, this woman only knows me by the stories (which I'm assuming are all lies) he has told her about me. If he does move across the country to be with her, how can I trust a woman who hates me because of misinformation to treat my children properly? I don't care if she hates me personally, I'll still sleep fine at night, but now I'm worried about sending my kids in the summer to stay with them. I want to confront him about this but I know I can't. Maybe it's not that I can't, but I don't know how. Also, he has told no one we are separated and definitely has not told people why. How come? You initiated this, you cheated, you are happy now, so why can't you tell people? He told his father that he was bringing the kids alone to visit him because he and I 'weren't seeing eye to eye at the moment.' What?! I would assume he's afraid to face the music or is just finding comfort in the little love bubble he has created. He chooses to not face reality. He has yet to look for an apartment for when the divorce is finalized but has booked another fight out to see her for Valentine's Day. He is refusing to face reality and it's so frustrating.
We have mediation on 1/12 to discuss custody and hope that we can settle everything and get the paperwork moving. I'm having a scheduled phone conversation with a lawyer today to discuss what I should ask for in terms of physical and legal custody when he moves. Update you all (if you want it of course) on mediation after the 12th.
Mediation and Empty Promises
Yesterday was our second mediation appointment. While it was amicable, there was some obvious tension. The tension was not on my end but more on his. Let me explain... During our first mediation we brought up the topic that he might move out of state. At yesterdays meeting I asked what we would do about custody if he moves to this particular state. When I mentioned the state by name the mediator was confused. This prompted her to ask him why this state that is so far away. His answer? "Well......." Then silence. He couldn't put into words the fact that he was leaving to be with his girlfriend. I had to finally chime in realizing we are paying by the hour that he was moving to be with his girlfriend. I realized later that was the first time he had semi-confessed to having an affair and a girlfriend to anyone. If you love this person so much why can't you just say it out loud? That whole situation confuses me.
Anyway, when it comes to dollars and cents I will be fine. He will also be fine. He will have enough to do what he needs and so will I. We have agreed to a physical custody scenario that allows him weekend and dinner visits. Fine by me, I want my boys to have their father. But, the situation becomes a bit more difficult when he moves. While he said yesterday he plans to stay here at least a year, I doubt that will actually happen. When he does move across the country he wishes to return for one weekend of every month to see the boys. Again, I'm fine with this scenario but where will he stay that weekend? He has no family. Will he just be taking the boys to a hotel? Again, I don't think he actually thought this through. This is a problem I/we will tackle when he does decide to move.
Lastly, the mediator said it could take about 2 months to finalize everything. He and I spoke after the session to go over some facts and figures and I brought up the tentative finalization date of our marriage. I told him how 2 months is a good amount of time to save some money and find an apartment to which he agreed. I also reminded him about his promise to not return to visit her until our divorce is finalized or he has a place to live. He quickly became frustrated telling me that he knew and tried to shut down the conversation. I told him I'm happy that we are on the same page but I'm not budging. If you leave while you still live here you can not come back, that is something we both agreed to.
Now the big question remains; Who does he break a promise with? Obviously it's a win win for me, stay home and help me with the kids while you save $500+ and move out quickly or leave to visit her and I get you out of the house sooner. I'm happy with either decision. I just want to move on with my life and enjoy my moments with my children.
Out For A Swim
When I took this dive into the Reddit community I had no idea where I would land. I thought my feet would hit shallow ground and I would be ankle deep on the banks in an uncomfortable swimsuit all alone. But to my surprise this deep ocean of Reddit readers have engulfed me into their warm waters and I am surrounded by a sea of support. For this I am thankful. I am also so touched by the droves of people who have reached out for advice or offered their own experiences as lessons to be learned. To the ones seeking advice I tell them, I am not an expert swimmer. I am merely doggy paddling through this sea of hurt and confusion. Please don't use me as a sign of strength. Because the truth is, I am not strong, I am you. I am the woman who reads because they are suspicious of late night phones call her husband takes. I am the spouse who has shouldered the entire family and is in desperate need of support. I am the woman who misses affection from her husband who is next to her in bed every night. I. Am. You. To those people who have yet to catch their partner cheating but are suspicious, trust your gut. Cheating is a coward's choice so be braver than them and face the truth. To the spouse who is 'the fixer' and takes on every challenge, take a step back. When you help (even with good intention) you are actually just hurting yourself. To the spouse who has tried everything to receive physical attention from their partner but to no avail, their affection is probably going somewhere else. These are lesson I wish I could have told myself months, if not years ago. Listen to me. Or just listen to you.
To the sharks in water who call me a 'bad mom', 'a crazy bitch', 'fake' or even just think I'm out of my mind, you will find no blood in this water. So it's best you move on and find a thread where the OP will chum the water for you. It's so very easy to read and judge, this I understand. I just hope that if this ever happens to you that you will be as brave, logical and composed as you expect others to be. If not, you will find sharks circling you as well. So I hope you are as strong of a swimmer as you claim to be.
If you are still reading, my saga/survival continues. Our final mediation papers will arrive this week. We were able to settle everything at the last meeting on 1/12 and the documents just need our signature. After that, the divorce papers need to be served and filed with the county. Then we await our court date which will be done via Zoom. Yes, a bit anticlimactic, but it will still serve its purpose of divorcing. He has started (finally) to look for an apartment but nothing is to his satisfaction. Maybe he is being picky or maybe he is comfortable living in the basement. Either way, once the divorce papers are stamped he needs to be gone. He has started making phone calls to her during the day and I can hear him giggling downstairs. I'm happy he is happy, I really am. That isn't passive aggressive. I know I will be happy one day too, he just got there first and that's ok. I feel like my life is in limbo right now. I can't move forward because I'm chained to the past. I'm hoping his move will be soon. I suspect he wants out for February 1st so he can go visit her for Valentines Day. I hope for his sake (and mine) that he makes his deadline. I will update again after I receive the mediation paperwork and divorce papers are served. I'm sure that will stir up a lot of thought and emotion so I'm certain it will be a doozy. Till then, I'll keep doggy paddling.
Souvenirs
If you have been following along then you know that there was a chance he would leave for Valentine's Day to go visit her. Well, he left this morning. He told the kids, "I'm going" as he walked out the door leaving me to explain a few hours later that he had to leave to 'work' when they started asking for him. I have learned that I can't have expectations. Just because I would try to be more honest with the kids doesn't mean he would. I was really proud of the fact that I didn't even engage him in the discussion/debate/argument of going. Yes, I had loudly vocalized some feelings a week ago when he told me he was going but I have not engaged him about it since. All I asked was for his flight info so that I would know when to expect him back. He did not provide this information; maybe he thinks I'm not entitled to it. Either way, he left and I was fine. While we had the conversation multiple times (in which he agreed) that he would not visit her again till he had an apartment he has reneged on that agreement. Shocker. He claims that he has every right to be here (which he does legally) and he can do as he pleases. He put a down payment on an apartment a few days ago but says he doesn't know when he is moving. What? The bills he pays in the house are less than the child support he will have to pay, so I think his decision to stay longer might be a financial one. I've offered him any piece of furniture he wants in the house. I even offered to pay for 1/2 of the cost of bunk beds for the boys. I just need him to leave. I have no idea why he is dragging his feet.
BUT, I learned through a mutual friend and former work colleague of theirs that she recently had COVID. When I say recently, I mean the board of health from her state said she could stop quarantining 3 days ago! But what about her kids that are in the home? Where they living there during her quarantine? Are they positive? Perhaps they are asymptomatic? Will my STBX be bringing me and our children home a COVID souvenir?
I'm LIVID.

Last night I (19m) had my first threesome. Two guys and one girl. Guy #2 (25) was my roommate and the girl (25) was his fianceé. The two of them approached me with the idea for a MFM threesome and pitched it as a win win situation for all of us. On one hand they'll get to explore their kinky side with someone they trust and on the other hand I get to lose my virginity in the company of two experienced people who know me. Not gonna lie, awkwardly losing my virginity in front of two people, especially two people who are my friends, one of which who lives with me, made my asthma flair up. But they ended up making me feel comfortable enough to agree to it.
Fast forward to my roommate and I cumming all over his fianceé. She was face down / ass up on the bed. Butt cheeks covered in nut juice. Without thinking I licked all that cum off her ass. Mine as well as my roommate's. I flipped her over and kissed her before swallowing the load. She licked my lips when we were done kissing which kinda turned me on all over again. My roommate pretended like he was gonna throw up and joked about how gross that was. I pretended like I was gonna kiss him too and he literally ran out of the bedroom lol. It was all fun and games. Or so I thought.
This morning my roommate called me gay for being so willing to not only swallow my own cum, but also his cum. His entire attitude was different now. According to him, the only reason he played it so cool at the time was because his fianceé seemed to enjoy it. He said both of us behaved inappropriately by kissing each other in a way that made it impossible for him to participate. I apologized and made it clear that my intention was never to make anyone feel uncomfortable or left out. He said he won't hold it against me because it was my first time, but advised me never to do that again because it's not really something straight guys do. I asked him if we're cool and all he said was he can no longer look at me the same way knowing I had his cum in my mouth.

1. Did I cross the line?
   
2. Is swallowing cum somehow not for straight guys?
   

Edit:
Never expected this post to attract so much attention! I appreciate all the advice and the praise, but it wouldn't be fair if I didn't point out how much I learned from my roommate and his fianceé during the threesome. I wasn't the sex machine some of you seem to think I was nor was my roommate a complete asshole. I had my fair share of performance anxiety throughout, but my roommate and his fianceé were patient and helpful towards me until I finally managed to just enjoy the experience. Thanks to the two of them I learned to focus on how good the sex was and gain the confidence to actually do what I did without thinking about what it means for my sexuality or the potential gross factor that comes with it. So in spite of how things turned out, I'm grateful that my first sexual experience was with them. Speaking of gratitude though, these comments are really educational and entertaining, so thank you! Didn't know my story would turn on so many people. It's a bit overwhelming. For those who doubt any of this even happened, I get it, it's the internet, but thanks for reading though. So long, virginity!

Hey All,
Long time MMO fan here. Reading through comments and posts on here, I've come to the realization that a large issue with people's enjoyment of MMO's stems from the absurd amount of information on the internet that pertains to their current MMO. Complaints of a lack of social interaction, persistent Min-Maxing, gear hunts, lack of enjoyment and lackluster content leading to endgame, I believe stems from the fact that a large majority of the games have highly optimized and thorough guides.
My childhood MMO was Asheron's Call, a true sandbox MMO. The real joy was the fact that there was limited information on optimized progression, near zero information on dungeons and quests, and it was perfect. Players had to interact to learn about new places to hunt, potential quests that would warrant a useful reward, so on and so forth. A huge part of the fun of the game was birthed from figuring it out, exploring the world and systems, and interacting with others in the shared pursuit of enjoyment.
Guides, now, have a highly step-by-step instruction of how to play the game. What stats to invest in, gear drop rates and specific instructions on how to run a dungeon, what quests to complete and in what order. This leads to a flat checklist, no thought, no exploration, no social interactions, it's just chores to achieve a number next to your character's name with the highest numbered pants.
Arguably, some MMOs have streamlined systems to "dumb down" the thought required, but their systems can still be explored. Jump on Guild Wars 2 and try to come up with a character build without looking at a guide - it leads to super fun character customization.
I also understand people's desire to be competitive in PvP. Unfortunately, optimization tends to be the key for all of that. I can't think of a way to avoid it.
So my challenge to you is this: start or continue with your MMO and don't look up information on how to play the game. Learn for yourself, explore the systems. If you get stuck or frustrated, ask another player. They may refer you to a guide but chances are they may just help you out and you make a new friend.
It's about the journey, not the destination.

I wanted to clear the air a little bit, especially with Mike leaving the channel he created.
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First off, this is the real Justin. I know there's been a lot of fake Screenwave people on here over the years, but... I think you'll tell from my post that it's me. It's going to be too inside-baseball to be faked. Plus, mod GreatBowser confirmed it in Twitter DM.
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I also wanted to do an AMA for a while, was going to do one on Facebook in that Assposting group... but they started contacting family members on my Facebook profile and stuff. So... I left all Cinemassacre fan groups I was in and locked my profile down. I feel that this subreddit is probably the best place for the AMA... since you guys clearly care about the channel a lot and wouldn't hold back any punches. I was on here a few years ago. But, I jumped ship pretty quickly and didn't really engage after that, or even lurk. I would get sent threads from time to time. Yet, over the years I noticed the Truth went from heavy trolling and hyperbole, to more shitposting and constructive criticism. That's something I can get behind. Plus, you guys aren't going away... and Screenwave isn't going away. So, I wanted to meet in the middle.
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I wanted to step out in front of a lot of your questions. Answer them for you. I am going to use the Megathread and newer top posts to pull questions from. (But, feel free to ask stuff below. I'll only be monitoring this thread the next week or so, if that's alright.)
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Lastly, I do not speak for James, Mike, Ryan, Screenwave Media, or the other guys... it's just how I see things, or what I know personally.
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Who owns Cinemassacre now? Screenwave Media?
James owns it. I don't know the specifics after that or with the AVGN movie, but I know Screenwave Media owns 0% of any of it. We only have a stake in the AVGN games we produce. Yes, we take a percentage of monthly revenue, like we do other partners on the network... but we don't have any control of the Cinemassacre company... OR have any creative control. James can do whatever he wants with both. He decides to work with us, and we like working for him.
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So, do the Screenwave guys work for Cinemassacre or what?
"The Slobs," as we are called (thanks for that) don't have any creative control or financial stake, as said before. We are just employees of Screenwave Media. Hell, Cinemassacre isn't even my full time thing here. I do a lot of producing of our games and social media content, plus direction for the company kinda stuff. Tony and Kieran are the only full-time employees at Screenwave working for Cinemassacre... and that is mostly writing, filming, and editing.
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Why wasn't there a better way to introduce "The Slobs"?
That's the last time I'll call us the slobs, haha. Honestly, we probably should've introduced ourselves better. Mind you, we were working on the channel for a while at that point... and, when you're James or whatever, you're already really acquainted with us... so, when Tony slips into that Halloween 6 review or we start doing Rental Reviews, it doesn't really come to your mind to roll out the red carpet and send out flyers to everyone, because you assume people follow his socials where we're mentioned or at conventions or whatever... you just kinda do it... which, I don't think people would have cared too much about... if it wasn't for the departure of Kyle and Bootsy still stinging.
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What about Kyle and Bootsy then???
I started working for Screenwave in 2015... and on Cinemassacre in late 2017... so, I wasn't really there for the behind the scenes of Kyle and Bootsy. I met the guys a bunch beforehand though. I like the guys now too. You also know I did the stupid AVGN Roast in 2013... and I think I gave them that cake/award thing at TooManyGames the year before too... so, I knew Kyle and Bootsy well enough and we'd talk at after parties and whatever. Only saying that because I just want to put it out there that I don't harbor any animosity for them. None of us do. I'd like to work with them in the future if it's ever possible. Oh, and if you watch the Silvermania 2016 MAGfest video you'll see Bootsy. Really surprised none of you saw that yet... anyway... yeah, no idea why there was a falling out 100%. I know Kyle wanted to get more involved with his contracting company... and Mike and Bootsy had a falling out. Friends sometimes do, especially when they start working together and being in business together. All I know is what Mike posted publicly a while ago. Be cool to see them again one day regardless.
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Why did Mike leave?
I think he was pretty clear about it in his reddit post. We were planning 2021 and I guess Mike was feeling disconnected for a while... and honestly, loves to stream on Twitch. So, it just made sense for him to bounce. All the old stuff he made is still there, and I guess there's some burnout mixed with enjoying his new thing. I don't blame him. Yes, James barely talked about it in the update video... but, Mike specifically didn't want a huge send off or too much said about it. So, James said as much as Mike wanted him too. That simple.
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What about all the Mike drama over the years?
Same with the Kyle/Bootsy stuff. I wasn't around for it. I know as much as you know, maybe less. I think Mike has apologized for all of it... so, I am going to leave it there. I have no problems with Mike, he's always been good to me. Hoping to stream with him eventually from time to time or just hang out.
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Why doesn't James write the AVGN episodes anymore?
Well, he does... and he doesn't. It's collaborative. Sometimes we play all the games together, sometimes just he does. Sometimes we'll come up with an outline for a script and he fills it in, sometimes it's the reverse. Sometimes he comes up with ideas for games, sometimes we do. It's so back and forth that I can't really separate it at this point... I understand they don't feel like stuff from back in the day... but, not much you can do about that. He's older, back in the GameTrailers day he had something to prove. I think the movie burned him out... plus his family life and side projects. It takes its toll, I think we were moving in a good direction but Covid kinda fucked stuff up, for all of us. Our goal is to make 2021 a great Nerd year. We have been working on the plan for a while now with more time to focus on writing, acting, all that. I think 2020 had us flying by the seat of our pants. I was editing stuff 24 hours straight sometime. Sorry if it doesn't seem that way, haha. We put a lot of time and effort into making what we can, but we want to improve and we want the content to improve.
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What's with all the brand deals and lack of cursing?
As you know, YouTube is a minefield of demonetization, limited ads, and de-platforming. We're trying our best to make the channel money and keep views up. The brand deals really help, because a lot of our content gets limited ads, especially the older stuff. As you know, our backlog is huge. Cursing in the first minute is an instant limited ads. Which hurt money, sure, BUT it also makes the algorithm push you less. So, if a YKWBS gets limited ads it'll get half the views it would normally get, or less... so, we had to make these changes to stay afloat. Even the AVGN theme gets pinged... that's why a lot of AVGN episodes did worst this year (aside from whatever quality issues you have)... Bad Final Fight Games got limited ads because the Nerd said "blue balls," and that's too sexual. See what I mean? If we get hit, it kills views. So... we do brand deals, we put the theme after a minute, we changed it to BS in the front... if not, views would suffer, and future stuff would be pushed less and less. It's weird. Sure, we could do a Patreon and all that, but views would still suffer. And, we never want to just take your money... if skipping forward in a video is all you have to do, whatever. If you want to support us, merch is the best way to do that. And yes, James gets most of the profit from merch. It's not us running some scam.
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Why are the Screenwave guys such SLOBS?? (Oops, used it again.)
I don't want to talk about how Ryan, Kieran, or Tony (from Hack the Movies) feel... but, I know Kieran really took a lot of the stuff here to heart. Especially after the years of fat jokes, caveman jokes, and people pretending to be his dead father. He went off the edge a few times. I think he's in a way better place now, and I think he's really been taking good care of himself. Shit, I lost 80 pounds this year but gained a lot of it back when the world started opening back up... that's the thing about being fat your whole life. It's hard to dig yourself out, it's easy to diet and exercise if you're already thinner. I was fat in like kindergarten, those habits and addictions just continue on with you. Plus, food has always been a comfort for me. Not to go into a sob story, but my Mom died in '99 because of drugs and stuff... and I grew up with 3 sisters across multiple states in a poor family... and, being teased your entire life just goes on and on. Honestly, if you're 20 pounds overweight or 200... it feels the same when you're ridiculed, so, what's the difference, just get bigger, you'll never be small enough to not catch shit. I mean, not to go into my psychology or whatever, sorry... BUT, my goal is to get healthy in 2021... it's a "rebuilding year" for me... that's a sports term. I mean, I doubt it'll affect my personality much... so, if that's your problem, then shit... but, clearly us slobs don't want to be slobs. Even Tony (from hack the movies) and Ryan have been working on themselves too... plus, I always put others before me... from work, to family, to my girlfriend... I'm usually the last stop. Any advice or whatever you guys wanna give, please do. My Twitter DMs are always open.
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Coat-tail riding MUCH??
I mean? Not really? Not sure how much fame we can get out of this. It's just our job, and we like helping James and shooting the shit on the internet. Plus, I had two failed YouTube shows before working with Cinemassacre (why the fuck did they hire me??) so, I don't really care about the clout. It's cool when people high-five us at conventions and other content creators give us the nod... but, we're just trying to make videos, build up Screenwave more, and keep James making the content he wants to make. That's it. I mean, hasn't really helped Hack the Movies much (LOL).
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What do you think of the AVGN movie?
It's alright. I think it could be better here and there, but it's really hard to make a movie. Anyway, back when it was being planned... I was trying to get James to do it locally, with the Underbelly guys and people I knew into film. Do it cheap. But, I also understand wanting to make a big movie in Hollywood. That's a dream. Anyway, at the end of the day, I hope James gets to make another movie one day. I really liked his horror script, but clearly that's on the backburner if not cancelled... but, my goal is to get something to happen one day for him.
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Now I wanted to dive a bit into my past...
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Why do you defend Bob and still talk to him to this day?
So, as you might know, Bob (who used to be on my old YouTube show Silvermania) was busted for having child porn several years ago, after we stopped working together anyway. He went to jail for a year and has since been off the grid. I don't talk to him anymore and I completely cut ties. I've talked about the matter before, saying he "did his time" and stuff. Which, I meant like... I don't want to dogpile on a guy whose life is completely ruined... and who already fucked up a ton. I wanted him to get the help he needs and never work with him again. But, as I said before, I haven't talked to him in years and I don't plan to.
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Why did you make fun of Total Biscuit's cancer?
I regret everything that happened between Silvermania and TB. The short version, is we were invited on his podcast accidentally. They thought we were another show... my original show Underbelly, I think... which was a really different thing, and we were frustrated our YouTube network at the time (MakeTGS) didn't know the difference. Silvermania was me and my old roommate, who posted on here a few times as you know. They wouldn't let us on together and kept asking questions before the show about Underbelly and stuff that didn't pertain to us, but whatever. Watch it, it even says UnderbellyShow under my face. Things went south really quick... and honestly, I shouldn't have been a dickbag on the call... but, as I said, it was weird from the get-go. The energy was really off between all of us on the call, and I just played into being the bad guy. Anyway, we got kicked off the podcast halfway through and a wave of TB fans started attacking us for months. Now, there were like 5 people with access to the Silvermania YouTube at the time... plus I think mods and stuff. So, I'm not sure who did it. Hell, it could've been me under the influence. I drank way too much back then... anyway, someone made fun of TB's cancer down the road and it's been screen-grabbed and passed around. I mean, there's not too much context to it... aside from just being a shitty thing to say because we felt burned by the guy and his fans. Anyway, after that I met with him at a convention and we put it past us. He never actually saw the insult. I was really upset when I heard he passed, I always liked him and his content. Especially all the PC gaming stuff.
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Why did you post "I'm a pedo, watch out" on Twitter?
AH, right. I know that sounds like foreshadowing about the Bob stuff, but it wasn't. Back then, I think it was 2013... I didn't really use Twitter much. We had the SilvermaniaShow handle... which connected directly to our Facebook fan page. So, if we posted on Facebook, it would auto-post to Twitter. Also back then, we would have huge parties at our apartment and stuff, like 50 people would show up once a month... a lot of friends and fans of the show too. Anyway, someone "hacked" our Facebook account... as in, went on the computer that was playing music, typed that in as a joke, and hit send. We immediately deleted it... but, we forgot it auto-posts to Twitter and forgot about it. Anyway, when the show ended... I changed the handle from SilvermaniaShow to JustySilverman, the one I am using now, making it my personal account. But, the wayback machine or whatever, just makes it look like my current profile said he's a pedo. That's the story. Someone was playing a joke, it went to Twitter, and we didn't realize it. I am not a pedo, but sadly, I worked with one for a while... well, kinda, Bob was kinda a guest on the show more than a member.
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Why did you make such shitty/troll content anyway back then?
Man, it's been a real rollercoaster... if I knew back then what I know now... I think Underbelly or Silvermania would have made it... I let too many cooks in the kitchen, let friends have business control or creative whatever... I should've just been a solo act and just made fun shit... I mean, I think we did a lot of good stuff too... like, Underbelly was partnered with ScrewAttack and Normal Boots for a time... we were with the first ever YouTube network... but, all that pivoting fucked the channel up because of release schedules or what they wanted us to make... the production has always been good... Underbelly was the first YouTube channel with every video being in full 1080p back in 2010... but then we deleted every video and reuploaed them because our network needed us to for whatever reason... just a ton of issues... from back-end stuff to it not being fun anymore... to seeing others soar with similar content... it made me bitter. Which led to Silvermania becoming a weapon of trolling. I always skimmed the surface of making YouTube successful for me... hell, we pissed a LOT of content creators off too... I am STILL rebuilding those bridges even with being on Cinemassacre. I was just pissed off at the world and thought I knew better... when, we should've been focused on making fun stuff consistently and less toxic. That simple. Trying to do that now I guess.
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Why did you say the N-word?
I really regret this. I mean, even without cancel culture and all that. It was just stupid. The one time was back in 2012, on YouTube, and was part of a skit where I was saying the N-word was actually "Nerd," because of the Big Bang Theory or some point I was making about Nerds being taken advantage of or whatever by Hollywood... it was a really dumb comparison. I even had my black roommate in the video with me to sell the joke... it was dumb, but edgy humor was cool at the time. I have since removed the video and apologized. The other time was just being a drunk-comedian with my friends trying to say the most fucked up stuff possible, same year. Kinda like when Kramer from Seinfeld did that dumb stand-up routine when he said it. But, I guess my ex-roommate decided to record it and post it this year for clout. That said... I am not a racist, I've never said anything remotely racist after the fact, and never from a place of hate. I'm a pretty liberal guy, not that it matters. But, I apologize, clearly won't ever happen again... and hasn't in 8 years.
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Why are you dressed as a Klansman next to Nazi and confederate flag?
Whoops! Okay, this is a bad look. I can see this coupled with the N-word thing looking really bad... or being a Jewish guy next to a swastica. Clearly, this was a skit. The flags were from a WW2 and Civil War reenactment troop I knew, someone has to play the bad guys and their gear was really authentic. I don't own racist or facist flags. (Though, I kinda want a Mobile Infantry flag from Starship Troopers.) People share the photo around, but never notice the game collection behind me or the minture Hitler on my shoulder... it was a skit we filmed, but never fully released, and has since been taken down... it was part of our Lost Episodes clip-show. The joke was that I'm the "Racist Video Game Nerd," because everyone else on YouTube already picked all the names to sound more like AVGN. Like the Sad Video Game Nerd or whatever. So, the "RVGN" was going to review a game, then get thwarted by a group of racially diverse characters... so... just a stupid skit... that was never fully finished because we knew it was bad. Plus, the RVGN is the bad guy... he's shown in a negative light.
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Okay, I think that'll answer a bunch of questions you may have... so, yeah. AMA.
Oh, and sorry if I blocked you on Twitter or whatever. I'll add you back if you want.
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[EDIT]
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I will get to EVERYONE'S QUESTIONS, there are just a ton and I like to work and sleep and eat and shit.