Continuing
“Hey, Viv!”, I say, as we’re all being shuttled onto the bus which will take us to our hotel, “Toss me one of those miniatures, if you please. Yeah. Of course, Vodka’ll do. It’s bloody dusty round these parts.”
Viv chuckles and asks if anyone else wants anything. He’s a consummate scrounger and somehow sweet-talked a demure and pulchritudinous female Air China cabin attendant out of her phone number, Email address, and a case of 100 airline liquor miniatures.
That he looks like a marginally graying version of Robert Mitchum in his heyday and speaks fluent Dutch, French, and Italian might explain his success. I mean, a guy with four ex-wives can’t be all wrong, right?
He’s a definite outlier in this crowd. We could be characterized as a batch of aging natural geoscientists who collectively, sans Viv, add up to an approximate eight on the “Looker” scale. Besides the years, the mileage, the climatic, and industrial ravages, it’s a good thing we all have expansive personalities, as most of us are dreadful enough to make a buzzard barf.
But, save for Viv, no one presently here is on the make. Oh, sure; we’ll all sweet talk some fair nubile into a free drink or a double when we really ordered a regular drink, but we’re all married, most terminally, that is, over 35 years and counting. The odd thing is that save and except for Viv, none of us married folk had ever been divorced.
That is strange, considering that the global divorce rate hovers around 50%, and we are often called to be apart from kith and kin for prolonged periods. However, we are always faithful and committed to our marital units and those vows we spoke all those many long decades ago.
But, hey, we’re all seriously male and not anywhere near dead; and there’s no penalty for just looking, right?
Continuing.
We’re all loaded on a pre-war, not certain which war, by the way, bus which stank of fish, kimchee, and diesel fuel. We really don’t care even a tiny, iotic amount. It’s free transport, we’re tired of traveling, and not keen on walking any further than we absolutely have to.
Viv has been passing out boozy little liquor miniatures, and I’ve been handing out cigars since I bought a metric shitload back in Dubai Duty-Free and somehow got them all through customs.
We didn’t light up, as there was neither a driver nor handler present. So, we figured we’d all just wait on the cigars, and concentrate on having a little ground-level “Welcome to Best Korea” party until the powers that be got their collective shit together and provided drivers, herders, and handlers.
We sat there for 15 long minutes. Being the international ambassadors of amity and insobriety, we started making noises like “Hey! Where’s our fucking driver?” and “I am Doctor Academician! Of All State Russian Geological Survey! How dare you make me wait? ”
Suddenly, a couple of characters in ill-fitting gray suits and fake Rays Bans are outside the bus having a collective meltdown. Somehow, someone fucked up and put us on a ‘regular’ bus and not the ‘VIP’ bus. In other words, we got to see what the locals really got to ride around Pyongyang on instead of our supposed to be impressed by the bus that wasn’t there; but was now just arriving.
A spanking new purple-and-chrome Mercedes long-haul bus shows up. It even has our group name emblazoned above the placard that normally tells where the bus is headed or who it is for: “’국제 석유 지질 과학 연합’ [Gugje Seog-yu Jijil Gwahag Yeonhab] or ‘International Union of Petroleum Geological Sciences’”.
We are brusquely ordered off our present bus and into the opulent, obviously bespoke, bright yellow faux-leather interior Mercedes-Benz Tourismo RH M. It’s so new and so obviously a ploy to get us to think that all things here are so new and opulent, it even smells of that new car, ah, bus, aroma.
“Well, we’ll take care of that soon enough”, I muse, as the bus is equipped with ashtrays and we’re going on the scenic route to our hotel, which is only 25 or so kilometers from the airport. However, it was announced that it’ll take us about 2 hours to get to our hotel since we need to see the city in its best light and get a feeling for the town if we should ever find ourselves lost and alone.
We all know what’s going on. They’re getting our rooms ‘ready’ for our arrival and need some extra time to make sure everything’s all wired in and transmitting properly.
“Guys”, I muse to our new handlers, “I’ve been to the Soviet Union, pre-wall fall. I stayed in places where I was definitely among the first westerners ever to grace their porticos. We’re a busload of natural scientists, of eight different nationalities, covering the economic spectrum from staunch capitalism to sociable socialism to hard-core communism. You even think for a second we’re going to spill any beans about anything you’d find interesting or useful? Think again.”
In fact, it would become a running joke between us all to see what sort of fake bombshells we could drop into the normal conversation what would give the listener’s the greatest case of the jibblies.
But for now, our bags were all loaded into the cargo compartment of this very, very nice, I must admit, mode of conveyance. Our handlers: ‘Yuk’, ‘No’, ‘Man’, and ‘Kong’, are all seated upfront and please with their latest tally of bodies. We have a couple of shady fellow travelers with the knock-off Ray-Bans and shiny gray suits that just appeared out of the woodwork in the back, seated by the loo, watching over all of us, and we’re going on a fucking city tour, whether we like it or not.
We’re all present and accounted for. Let’s keep our camera in our bags for the time being as the drinking and smoking lights had just been lit as the bus fired up its new German-engineered and machined precision diesel engine.
The bus rumbled to life and after a moment or two of checking that all dials, gauges, and indicators were where they were supposed to be; without so much as a cursory glance, we pulled out into traffic.
Except there was none.
Not another bus, pushbike, tap-tap, scooter, car, truck, hover-board, or motorcycle in sight.
Nothing.
Seems we were a big deal. They shut down the main drag so we wouldn’t be encumbered by such proletariat things like traffic jams or people-things cluttering the roadway, clambering for a look at the Western scientific cadre.
So, away we whizzed, sans traffic and into the very belly of the beast, and onward; eventually, towards our hotel.
Our handlers were very kind to point out passing scenes of interest.
“Look, look! There’s the Potong River. Notice all the lovely birds, ‘eh what? See the Norwegian Blue? Beautiful plumage!”
“See here, look. Here’s the Taedong River. Many forms of fish in the river. Maybe we’ll see some fishermen. If you like, we can stop, and ask them about today’s catch.”
We all declined, as we were certain that the fish the ‘random fisherman’ we’d talk to was flown in fresh from elsewhere earlier in the day.
Besides, we were comfortable. We had our drinks, our cigars, and we were leaving the driving to someone else.
After being driven around the city and seeing all the wonderful monuments, like the faux Arch of Triumph, which looks exactly unlike its namesake Arc de Triomphe de l'Étoile in Paris.
The Arch of Reunification, a monument to the goal of a reunified Korea, which, by necessity, is unfinished. Then there’s the Tomb of King Tongmyŏng, where people are lining up, just dying’ to get in.
Finally, we all called for our hotel, the Yanggakdo, after yet another mausoleum, the Kumsusan Memorial Palace of the Sun.
Arches or tombs. Such a stunning array of monuments and places of less than moderate interest.
We were interested in Mirae Scientists street (Future Scientists street). It is a street in a newly developed area in Pyongyang to house scientific institutions of the Kim Chaek University of Technology and its employees. But we were told that it was too late, there was not much there to see, we needed to express written permission to visit, and we’d be going there tomorrow or next week.
We wheel into the parking lot of the Yanggakdo Hotel and are immediately unimpressed by the pseudo-Baroque concrete fiasco that appears to stand, wobbly, before us. It’s a page right out of the Soviet Construction-For-The-Masses Handbook. A cold, gray concrete edifice with multitudes of seemingly little, tiny windows. A perfect metaphor for our travels thus far; look at the expansiveness of Best Korean wonders, through this pinhole.
However, we judged too soon. We were told to go inside and check-in, whilst our luggage would be de-bussed for us and handled by the expertly efficient hotel staff. The lobby was opulent, tastefully laid out in earth tones of facades of veneers of marble, granite, some garnet-mica schist, if my hand lens doesn’t lie, some Prepaleozoic anatectic migmatite, displaying intricate and intense plication, xenoliths, and graphic delineation of minerals by segregation through melting points. There was a gigantic well-appointed and well kept up aquarium, complete with snuffling sharks and nuclear-submarine sized groupers.
Very handsome indeed. Impressions increasing slightly.
Then we see that there’s a bloody casino on the bottom floor of the hotel, several bars interspersed throughout the hotel, and karaoke, of which I’m not terribly fond, but some of my European counterparts almost swooned at the prospect. There are a large pool and weight rooms/gymnasia, saunas and places to relax outside of one’s room, but still under the watchful eye of the thousands of ill-concealed video cameras at every turn.
“Covert surveillance” may be a thing in Best Korea, but it’s a practice still leaves a lot to be desired. The Eastern Siberian Russians back before the wall fell were more covert with their obvious button audio microphones woven into the fabric covering the headboard of your Intourist bed than the Best Koreans here. Their cameras were ‘disguised’ as flower arrangements, overhead lights, and speakers inexplicably placed into things like standing ashtrays, refuse bins, and randomly placed holes in the wall.
The floors were all covered with exquisite what looked to be hand-woven rugs of most vibrant crimson and gold; the usual Communistic colors. Always with some sort of floral pattern or pattern that’s supposed to be reflective of nature, as I was told. Evidently, for workers to remember what nature was as they don’t get out much with 14 to 16 hours workdays here in the Worker’s Paradise.
Enough of the travelogue; we all wander up to the front desk, and each with their own passport in hand, request our reserved rooms. We supposed that we would all have rooms on different floors as the reservations were made, expired, re-made, juggled, rebooked, allowed to expire, re-jiggered, and finally formalized a scant week before we left the UK.
Nope. No such luck. We were all on the 39th floor. The place boasts 47 floors, of which, the top floor is a revolving restaurant. Evidently, food tastes better when you’re rotating.
However, it won’t spin unless you first buy a drink.
We had that thing whirling like a NASA centrifuge after its discovery the second night.
Yeah, all 12 of us are bivouacked on the 39th floor. A floor with approximately 30 rooms.
I guess we could have played “Room Roulette” and see who got which room and who’s luggage. Or we could switch every day or two to drive our handlers nuts. Or, we could just take our assigned rooms, which were conveniently located one empty room apart.
Meaning, no one had adjoining rooms. Why? Fuck if I know. We didn’t spend much time in our rooms, and that time was either sleeping or showering. We’d all meet at the bar, casino, restaurant, karaoke, bowling alley (all three lanes) or actual meeting rooms every once in a while when we thought we should get together and compare notes. It was the most inexplicable situation.
Plus, we spent an inordinate amount of time waiting on the fucking elevators to take us to our room. These elevators, and if you think you’re going to get a batch of aging senior scientists to schlep it up 39 floor’s worth of stairs, think again; are the slowest elevators in the civilized world. And that was the consensus of scientists representing not only Europe and North America, but Russia as well. 15-25 minutes added to each journey, up or down; stopping on every floor, except 5, on the way down..
Jesus Q. Fuck, dudes. If you can’t construct a bleedin’ elevator that works better than those at the Sozvezdie Medveditsy Guest House in Lesosibirsk, Eastern Siberia; then I suggest you seriously rethink your plans for world domination and new world order.
Grako and Erwin once, while waiting for the fucking elevator, figured out that we were earning some US$25 each just to wait for the lift to arrive and take us to our rooms. Every day. Sometimes several times per day.
With that, we all agreed to toss our “waiting time” funds into a kitty and on our last day of captivity here, blow it all in the hotel casino. Whatever became of that would be donated to the Koreans we thought most deserving of our largesse.
Would it be our handlers? How about the Korean Scientists we’d be meeting? The affable and most accommodating concierge? Or that plucky little Korean charwoman who was always on our floor and kept everything spotless, right down to our freshly laundered and pressed field clothes and newly polished field boots; done without our requesting or knowledge?
Only time would tell.
It could be a fortune or it could be bupkiss. Just like our expectations of the Heavenly Kingdom where we were currently sequestered.
As it was, with our official protestations, they kept only photocopies of our passports as we roundly refused and threatened a full-scale karaoke battle right here in the lobby if they didn’t relinquish our passports immediately. I had broken out my nastiest cigar and was primed to offend.
With that, we all had our keys and trooped over to the elevators for our first, of many, inexplicable waits. We made many uncharitable and potentially nasty remarks about the Anti-Western posters that made up some of the wall décor. Once we finally made it to our floor, we all fanned out to find our rooms. Viv found his first and was quite pleased to report to the rest of us that there was a “Welcome” basket in his room.
We all hoped that we would be receiving one a well.
I was in room 3914; which I considered a close call, but later only wondered as there was no 3913. Upon entering, I saw it was 1980s Hotel 6 opulent, but with an excellent over-city view. True it was late, dark, and the city was only somewhat lit up; I was looking forward to the view of the town in full daylight.
The room had a ‘king’ bed; that is if the king in question was Tutankhamen, the stubby, Egyptian boy king. The bed had no mattress pad and no box spring but it was hard enough for my liking. Many of my compatriots didn’t agree and complained bitterly. They eventually received thin mattress pads for all their kvetching.
There was an ancient Japanese color television, which only had 2 English language channels - Al Jazeera and the BBC, which was on a dated news loop. Watching the local channel is amusing though; the ads for ‘personal enhancements’ were hilarious, even without understanding a word of the language.
There were a couple of chairs and a low table, built-in dresser drawers for our clothes, a rusty and probably unusable room safe with corroded batteries, a small table built out of the wall that would serve as my travel office, and would-you-believe, a rotary telephone; how’s that for nostalgia?
There was an old-model radio built into the nightstand next to the bed. I was very surprised to find it not only received AM, FM but shortwave as well. I had brought along a pair of Bose headphones and during some rainy down days, spent many fun-filled, and I mean that sincerely, hours DXing from the comfort of my ‘enormous’ king bed.
Beyond that, the room was very nondescript. Like any other of the millions of rooms in hotels around the world that unlike here, aren’t claiming a 5-star rating. I mean, it was clean, if not a little long in the tooth. But didn’t smell too terrible, even after I took care of that with my Camacho offerings. It was utilitarian, everything worked, even the water pressure, which surprisingly could strip off layers of one’s skin if you weren’t careful.
The bathroom, though no Jacuzzi, had a large enough bathtub for the occasional soaking period. Western accouterments in the bathroom were also welcome additions. My knees can’t handle the traditional squat-holes any longer.
There were an electric teapot and several brands of tea, but no coffee. A quick “Gee! I sure wish I had some coffee!” to the four walls and damned if 30 minutes later, a porter didn’t arrive to replenish my tea and courtesy in-room coffee…
There was a small Japanese brand in-room refrigerator which I thought might house a mini-bar. Oh, no! It was actually a complimentary larder stocked with all sorts of Best Korean goodies. Multiple cans of Taedonggang beer. Several bottles of Pyongyang Soju, in various flavors ranging anywhere from 16.8 to 53 percent alcohol by volume. My fridge was skewed towards the right-hand side of the bell curve; the more heavy-duty boozy side.
Evidently, my reputation had preceded me again.
There was a selection of German-style wheat beers from the Taedonggang Brewery and the more familiar ales, steam beers, and lagers. There were some imported beers like Heineken, Bavaria, Pils, a couple of Japanese brands: Asahi and Kirin, and something called ‘Hello Beer’ from Singapore.
There were also ‘sampler’ bottles of Apricot Pit wine, and a couple of high-alcohol fruity liquors made from constituents such as apple or pear, and mushrooms. There were also special medicinal liquors like ‘Rason’s Seal Penis Liquor’.
That is going home with me unopened.
There were a couple of bottles of local sake, called Chonju. Finally, there was a couple ‘samplers’ of homemade alcohol known as Makkoli. Plus there was something called ‘Corn Grotto’, which for the life of me, looks and tastes much like a very passable Kentucky Sippin’ Bourbon.
I put our concierge on instant danger money the very next day. He’s yet to source me more than a fifth of the stuff so far.
I found that there is a popular drink here which mirrors the Yorsch of Mother Russia. Beer and soju can be mixed to create *somaek’; a foamy, frothy, funky drink of many flavors, depending on the soju chosen.
Is ethnoimbibology at thing? The science of how different cultures drink and the effects of drinking culture on different societies. If not, now I have another Ph.D. to pursue after I endow a chair at some likely Asian university.
Anyways, in everyone’s room was a “welcome” basket, just chock full of Best Korean goodies. Postcards, stamps, ads for coin sets, stamp proofs and other goodies that could be purchased at the hotel. There was a field notebook, which I thought was a very nice addition, newspapers, cookies, crackers, biscuits, candies, fruit drinks, and some fresh fruit; although tamarind chewies and durian chips aren’t on my list of personal favorites.
There were a couple of tour books, just chock full of staged photos. These were very nice as well, as so far, we haven’t had much time for shopping outside of government stores or smaller family-run shops in town or out in the boonies.
A few of us were hungry and decided to see what the hotel had to offer room service-wise.
Bupkiss.
But, they did have a selection of restaurants. There is a Chinese restaurant, a European restaurant, and a Korean restaurant on site but they all serve the same food...a Best Korean attempt at western food. And it was weird being the only ones in the restaurant even though it was fully staffed.
We grazed lightly and decided to do some late-night perambulations around our hotel. Our handlers admonished us to stay within the confines of the hotel, or see them if it was absolutely necessary to go walkabout. In the hotel, we were on our own.
We found that there were tunnels in the hotel’s basement. The basement tunnels were a real bonus. There’s a bar with pool tables, a karaoke room, bowling, and a massage parlor, where I was beaten and pummeled into submission by tiny, diminutive, little Korean lassies fully 1/5th my size.
It was wonderful.
There was a hairdresser’s, who were completely befuddled by my shoulder-length silver-gray locks and full gray Grizzly Adams beard. They did provide a lovely shampoo/cranial massage though for the equivalent of US$2.
There were a couple of shops selling Chinese goods rather than local stuff, which was sort of disappointing, a cold noodle bar, and another casino. No shops selling Korean Communist propaganda posters, as I wanted to augment my Soviet-era collection. Perhaps I’ll find something in-country later on.
We were shocked to find that the casino had WiFi that was uncensored and we were able to access; after a fee of liquor miniatures and a cigar or two. We were supposed to have access to the global internet, not local intranet, from the universities that we would be visiting. However, all of that was under the heavily squinting eyes of handlers and guys in shiny suits wearing fake Ray-Bans.
I still had my secret satellite internet lash-up available, but that was iffy, a pain in the ass to set up, and ridiculously expensive. However, it did work on the 39th floor and the times I used it instead of wandering down to the tunnels, no one appeared to be the wiser. Thus far.
So typically, we’d just head to the basement casino with our laptops, iPads, and phones. Bam! Robert’s your Sister’s Husband, we could connect more-or-less free with the outside world; hence how you are reading this now.
Herro! “Yes, I’d sure like another beer. This time a porter, if you please.”
The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain. Or the more they put into locks, the easier they are to pick.
Besides, we were told we’d have access to unfettered and free internet. OK, so we just found it for ourselves. Whaddya expect? We’re scientists, motherfucker, back off.
Ahem.
Back to reality.
The breakfast buffet the next morning had a wide choice of Asian and Western food, although the choices seemed to be the same every day. The main event was to beat the Chinese tourists to the egg station every morning. Breakfast always included fried eggs, a limited selection of pork, kippered fish, potatoes, rice, fruit, and a very Titanium-dioxide-white white bread
After a while, I took to going to the small market behind the lobby, buying some imported Chinese or Japanese nibbly bits and heading to the tunnels for a few breakfast beers before the long hard day’s work. It took almost a week, but I gained the trust of some of the workers in the tunnels and they showed me the on-site microbrewery at the hotel. It produced very passable, and very, very cheap beers of several varieties.
Liquid bread. Beer. Is there nothing it can’t do?
After breakfast our first day at the hotel, we were told to meet in the Conference Room “Il-sung” as we were going to have a ‘Welcome foreign imperialist scientists’ introduction and indoctrination.
Besides our handlers and the shiny-suit squad, there were several Korean folks we didn’t recognize. These were students, scientists, and scholars from the Kim Chaek University of Technology, Kim Il-sung University, the Pyongyang University of Science and Technology; all hailing from Pyongyang, and the University of Geology from North Hwanghae Province.
“Oh, marvelous”, Erlen remarked, “It’s going to be a bloody Chautauqua. We’ll be here all day.”
“Well”, I replied, “It could be worse. We could be on a bus headed off on another unscheduled road trip.”
As we found our seats, our Korean counterparts were busily setting up portable screens, like the ones your grandfather had for showing his 2.1 Googleplex worth of travel slides every Christmas or Thanksgiving get-together. They had a couple of ancient Chinese brand laptops that could have doubled for body armor, they were so thick and heavy.
While they fiddled with running cords for the overhead projectors and 16mm film projector; yes, it was going to be movie time as well, the hotel’s restaurant folks wheeled in carts laden with scones, cupcakes, and other sweet sorts of bakery. Another cart was wheeled in with pump-pots of hot water, tea, and coffee. Usual scientific meeting fare.
There was one final cart that made the day bearable. It held a pony keg of hotel micro-brewed beer on ice, with several dozen frosty mugs available for all who wanted to partake.
There were instantly 12 mugs that were spoken for.
I grabbed a cold beer and wandered around the conference room, sipping beer, chewing on an unlit cigar, and just trying to be pleasant to our hosts and their scientific guests. I was surprised when one North Korean professor, who spoke amazingly British-tinged English, offered me a light for my cigar.
“Is smoking allowed here?” I asked.
“Allowed?” he laughed heartily, “My good man, it’s practically a prerequisite.”
“Here then”, I said, offering him a nice, unctuous Camacho, “Try one of mine.”
Dr. P'ung Kwang-Seon of the North Korean University of Geology became my instant and lifelong friend at that moment.
We had a very nice chat, much to the chagrin of the gray suit cadre, who could hear what we were talking about, but probably didn’t understand anything beyond every 8th word.
After a while, we were asked to take our seats, after refreshing our drinks, and introduced to the group of Korean geoscientists we’d be interacting with during our stay here in Best Korea.
I tried to record every name, but between the students, other scholars, and professors from the various universities, I decided I’d ask for a list of participants once the day had worn on. After all, they had all our names, references, and resumes if the thick folio they kept referring to was any indication.
There were a couple of hours of introductions, as every one of the Korean geoscientists there introduced themselves, mostly through translators, told of their personal area of specialty, and their latest work.
Most were what would be considered geoscientists, but oddly enough, not one that you would consider a petroleum geoscientist, however tangentially.
There were geomorphologists, structural geologists, petrologists, mineralogists, marine geologists, engineering geologists, and seismologists. However, there were no stratigraphers, sedimentologists, paleontologists, or geochemists. We were all geoscientists, but apart from the obvious Korean:English disparity, it was as if we spoke different scientific languages as well.
That would be our first hurdle to overcome.
They had no oil industry here; none whatsoever, therefore why one would bother with the geosciences that fed directly into petroleum? That, in and of itself, would make it difficult to explore for oil in the country. Couple that with the fact that they’re so insular, think their version of ‘science’ is the best, at least that’s the official line, and think all other’s ‘science’ is capitalistic, substandard, and inferior doesn’t bode well for your country discovering anything either oily or gassy.
We were having another conclave around the beer keg, ack, err…a ‘coffee break’ and I mentioned this fact to my scientific colleagues.
“Guys”, I need input here, “We’re going to get precisely nowhere if they won’t even acknowledge that they have major problems from the start.”
Ivan replies, “Very true. I’ve seen this before back home. You get a group so entrenched in their own little corner of science, they can’t even accept or acknowledge that others exist. Not only exist but actually know more about a certain problem than do you.”
Dax joins the fray, “Sure, that’s very true, but who’s going to tell them this unfortunate fact? They could take that as a personal, national, and global insult. Imagine you’re at an international conference and a bunch of foreigners walk in just to tell you you’ve been doing it all wrong for the last 75 years.”
I add, “Remember, though. These characters are scientists as well. I think it’ll be a good measure of seeing what sort of science and scientist we’re dealing with here. If they are truly researchers, they’ll listen to and evaluate what we say as for veracity and accuracy. If they’re just a bunch of Commie goons; no offense, Comrade Academician Ivan, they’ll get all pissed off, kick us out, and we get to go home and enjoy our triple Force Majeure pay.”
Ivan walks over and deliberately steps on the toes of my newly polished field boots.
“In Soviet Russia, field boots walk on YOU.” He laughs in his heavily inflected, and scary, Soviet-era speech…
“Yes, I agree”, Joon adds, “But who is going to address this issue with our hosts? Perhaps one of our Russian comrades, as they are, or were, more politically aligned with our Korean friends and perhaps best understand the issue?”
Ack speaks up, grinning maniacally, “No, I disagree. We should have the one person here who so encapsulates the ideologies and political leanings that they love to hate here so much. You know; the quiet, diminutive, and soft-spoken North American…”
Dax recoils, “Oh, no! I’m not going out in front of this mob of ornery Orientals…”
I smile wanly and tell Dax to cool out.
“Relax, Dax. They’re talking about me.”
“Oh, yes”, a collective group of voices replies, “Yes. Let out fearless Team Leader break the bad news to our Eastern Colleagues. That way we can gauge their reactions to being bounced around scientifically by a member of the Evil Capitalist Cartel.”
“OK”, I reply, “I’ll do it. But be forewarned, my fine feathered fiends. I get stuck on a topic that’s not precisely my bailiwick, I’m going to throw your ass to the wolves. Remember, we’re all in this together.”
Whoops, and catcalls were reduced to mumbles and ‘Aw, fucks.’.
Chautauqua resumption was called and I asked for the floor.
It was a bit off the agenda, but since they’ve been chewing the air for the last several hours, they understood it would be appropriate for us to at least try and get a word in edgewise.
I downed my beer, and grabbed a fresh one as what I was going to say was going to be harsh, cut-and-dried, and rather pointed. But delivered in a pleasant manner.
I hoped.
This all had to be filtered through a series of translators, one for general conversational Korean and another for the more technical and scientific transliterations. I realized I was going to be up here for a while. So, I brought a cigar.
One way or another, I was going to deliver our pronouncements and hell, I may as well be comfortable while doing it.
.
“Greetings and felicitations, my Eastern Colleagues. Let me first say how nice it is to be here in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea as part of the ….”
I’m going to fast-forward through all the flowery bullshit and introductory happiness; I’ll going to just cut to the guts of the matter.
“…Now, you do know why there has been virtually no oil, gas nor any other hydrocarbon related deposit discovered here in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea?” I asked by way of a rhetorical question.
I sipped my beer and lit my cigar. In for a chon, in for a won.
I let the buzzing subside on the side of our eastern counterparts.
“Because, and please do not take this as insulting or derogatory, but as a statement of irrefutable fact, no one with the proper training nor experience has been looking. You’re historically guilty of applying the science incorrectly and letting dogma and politics guide your search, instead of the scientific method and the facts. Geology, like all natural science, is just as truth based on the facts for a capitalist as it is for a communist. Reality is not influenced by your beliefs, be they scientific or political, secular or spiritual, ‘trusted’ rather than ‘thought’; any more than by your wish that it wouldn’t rain today during a raging thunderstorm.”
Little Boy over Hiroshima was dropped with less effect.
Our Democratic People's Republic of Korea colleagues erupted into a chaotic mixture of stuttering, internecine yelling, accusations, and sputtering.
Calling for decorum, I figured that since I was this far gone, I may as well push the plunger all the way to the bottom.
“Gentlemen, I do not denigrate the science of geology as taught and practiced here in Best Korea.” I actually said that, sort of a slip of the tongue. Continuing, “However, one would not fish for Bluefin tuna from a rowboat in a pond with a fly rod. One does not hunt bear in the city with a slingshot. Just as one doesn’t search for oil and gas with mining engineers, geomorphologists, and seismologists.”
I let that sink in and after the translation, they calmed a bit and wanted to hear the rest of what I had to say. I could sense a couple was less than thrilled with what I had to say, but forging onward…
“One fishes for Bluefin tuna in the deep ocean with huge rods, reels and a specialist boat captained by someone with deep experience in hunting the elusive fish. One hunts bear in the proper environment, the taiga or forest, with the proper tools and guided by one with the education, learnedness, and experience to know how to make the hunt come out successful.”
Hit them with some analogies they can relate to and digest. Now, go for the carotid.
“Just like one does not hunt oil and gas without stratigraphers, sedimentologists, geophysicists, petrophysicists, and other oil and gas experts who have the education, experience, and knowledge to know where to look. Knowing which environment looks most conductive to hide your quarry, if you’ll pardon the pun, and how best to find them, the guys who know how to corral and de-risk them once you find them, and the engineers and technologists who know how to bring them to the surface so they can be utilized.”
They had stopped being irritated and were listening in rapt attention.
“My colleagues and I have spent the last few days going over, in detail the geology of your country. There is nothing we can see that would preclude the development, entrapment, and preservation of economic quantities of oil and gas. Ture, the geology is quite complex as is the structural history of the entire peninsula. That’s one other thing you will have to accept. Geology doesn’t give the tiniest shit about political boundaries. One must look at the big picture, and that doesn’t stop at some man-made borders. Ignore that fact at your peril, because if you continue to view the geology here as not existing across political boundaries, you are preadapting yourself for failure.”
Drs. Ivan, Volna, and Morse make certain that everyone sees the ex-Soviets agreeing with the bushy-bearded, cigar-chomping American capitalist.
“So,” I said, hoping to bring this little spit-balling session to a fortuitous close, “If we can have an agreement; scientific agreement, on these points, then I am certain we can find a way forward with not only this discussion but the program we can devise for the best Korean (notice phase shift?) geologists to take the project forward both scientifically soundly and economically successful.”
My North Korean counterpart gets up from his seat in the conference room, goes to the keg, taps a couple of beers and walks up to the podium where I was standing.
“Thank you, Dr. Rocknocker, for saying what needed to be said”, he spoke in perfect English as he handed me a beer.
I grinned and gratefully accepted the beer.
“Why, Dr. Chang Kwang-Su”, I said, as that was his name, “You old fraud. You do speak English; and very well, I must add.”
“Yes, almost all of us do”, he relayed, “But, as you said, we are most reserved. We were more or less under orders of the ‘most illustrious’, to play coy, and act as if we spoke no English.”
“I see.” I said, “I’ve worked in several FSU countries as well as Russia and saw that there as well. I guess old habits die hard.”
“That they do, Doctor.”, he replied, “But, we must now tell you the truth. We knew exactly what you said is true, and we agree. We are not as totally insulated from the outside world as some suspect.”
“Well, I was going on what your superiors related to us. Like the police that had all their toilets stolen, I had nothing else to go on.” I replied.
“Ah, ha! Quite!”, he chuckled, “We had long suspected that we were lacking in certain areas of scholarship. What you said cements that fact as it was an independent conclusion. We can now present that to our superiors with the caveat that unless we bolster work and training in these areas, the hunt of hydrocarbon resources here will be for naught.”
“I am relieved”, I said, truthfully. “I was slightly concerned that some might take umbrage to being told their science is not up to specifications. I tried to be the bearer of that bad news but deliver it gently. Here, I find you need that to use that as a truncheon to smack one’s boss upside the head and tell him that an upgrade is required. And fast.”
“Ah, so”, he replies, “We are in total agreement. Now that is out of the way, we would appreciate it if you’d help in designing a course of study for up and coming local geoscientists. Then, we can go forward with a great plan to search for oil and gas here in…Korea. Correct?”
“Absolutely”, I remarked, “You’ve got over 400 man-years of science and exploration expertise here in this room alone. Let’s shoot for the moon, so to speak. Let’s get you up to speed on scientific journals and articles that are available out there in all of academia and industry. Let’s get you communicating on a global basis. Let’s prove that you can talk science with global scientists and still not have it affect your political or nationalistic aspirations one little bit. Let’s see if we can drag you, figuratively speaking, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century.”
“Doctor”, Dr. Chang remarked, “You are the embodiment of what we were always told what Americans are. Brash, loud, confident, and evil. Except for evil, you are American as we were led to believe.”
“Hey, I take that as a compliment”, I exclaim. “You think that’s bad, I’ve got a bunch of earnest Europeans, raucous Russians, and a couple of cagey Canadians on my side as well. Before we’re finished here, we’ll have you ordering hachee, dining on Caldo Verde, snacking on salmiakki, drinking Russkaya vodka with Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, eating poutine, and rooting for the Packers.”
“Doctor, I don’t know what half of that means, but I hope it comes to pass. It sounds most fascinating.” Dr. Chang chuckles.
The rest of the day was spent with various groups crystallizing and breaking off from the main crowd; then reforming as different groups. This was good, as it showed an interest across not only national borders but across ideologies and scientific specialties.
Most everyone here spoke English with some degree of fluency, so the translators were called in only occasionally.
I made certain they were included in everything that transpired that day. I want everyone to feel ‘part of the team’. How better to show the classlessness of Western science to include everyone in on both sides of every discussion and activity?
To be continued…

What Returning to Work Will Look Like in Offices, Cafes and Factories Around the World

Expect lots of temperature checks and one-way routes. ‘As we experienced in China, this will be a journey.’
Wearable social-distancing buzzers. Masked blackjack dealers. Drive-thru electronics purchases. From cubicles to factory floors, cafes to clothing boutiques, businesses around the world are dreaming up creative ways to reopen, attempting to start revenue flowing again while minimizing the risk to customers and employees.
The global economy is riding on their ability to pull off that delicate balance. A new flareup of Covid-19 cases could shutter offices, stores, restaurants and manufacturing plants once again, further choking off the flow of goods and services and threatening more jobs. Some governments, such as China, are providing rigorous oversight of the process. Others, including President Donald Trump’s administration, have offered looser guidance and are entrusting businesses to monitor their facilities. Scientists are still studying how the virus is spread, and whether keeping people six feet apart is enough, adding to the risks.
The companies’ plans rely on a steady supply of masks, gloves, thermometers and tests that is likely to strain budgets and manufacturers’ ability to keep up. Social distancing will be built in, with people divided by barriers and kept apart from colleagues and customers, a U-turn after years of movement toward open floor plans. Some companies will monitor employees more closely than ever before, while others will let workers choose how much protection they need. The way we work, shop, travel and eat in 2020 – and probably beyond – is being plotted out in boardrooms around the world.
Here are the changes companies are contemplating for their workplaces in the coming weeks.

The Office

Seats on the shuttle bus to Unilever’s Shanghai offices can be reserved using a chat group. Employees must be masked to board, and they sit on alternating sides, one person to each four-seat row. Upon arrival, each worker scans a QR code and fills out a health status report to get a daily pass to enter. Then comes the temperature check and the hand sanitizer.
Inside the office, movement is tightly regulated. Employees keep their masks on and are encouraged to use the stairs instead of the elevator, with spritzes of hand sanitizer before and after touching the regularly disinfected handrail. In the canteen, a single person is allowed at each four-seat table.
Such measures might seem predictable in a centrally controlled society like China, but some version of them is starting to appear in the West. At Britain’s former state phone monopoly, BT Group Plc, call center workers sit two meters apart, and walkways are designated as one-way to keep people from brushing past each other. Temperature checks are becoming routine at Sistema, the Russian conglomerate, which also says it’s developed its own two-hour test for Covid-19. Employees who come to the office have been tested in the past couple of weeks, though as many as half of the call center workers at MTS, the mobile network controlled by Sistema, are operating out of their homes.

More Room

Flexible space operator Knotel, which runs offices for corporations including Uber and Netflix, says workplace design has to change. Offices will likely be less densely populated, and altered to make them “antiviral,” according to Amol Sarva, Knotel’s chief executive officer.
“Things like ventilation, UV light, density screening, video monitoring, and temperature monitoring, cleaning protocols — those are all going to have to change,” he said. “Certainly there’ll be more space.”
In China, Cushman & Wakefield has helped move nearly a million workers back into 800 million square feet (74 million square meters) of office space. The company is creating a Recovery Readiness manual for landlords and tenants, based in part on its experience in China, that includes colored carpets to create visual boundaries around desks, plexiglass shields between desks that face each other and signs that direct walking traffic in a single direction.

Fewer Meetings

Even when people do come back to the office, meetings will be limited, and large gatherings are out of the question. This week, Facebook Inc. CEO Mark Zuckerberg canceled all physical events of 50 or more people through June 2021. The vast majority of employees are required to work from home through May, and those who need to carry on doing so will be able to work at home through the summer.
The road to normalcy may be much longer than that. At Abcam Plc, a British protein research company, 40 out of 300 China-based employees started returning to work in Beijing, Shanghai, Hangzhou and Hong Kong on Feb. 14. Two months later, the company is running split shifts to maintain distancing for the roughly 50% of employees based in manufacturing, logistics and essential lab work.

The Factory

On Feb. 10, Winly Automotive (Wuhan) Ltd. was assigned a checklist from the government. To reopen, the company would be required to have a one-month stash of masks and sanitizer, take a photo of the supplies, and send it to officials before submitting to a detailed inspection. “The policy has been constantly changing,” said Wang Xuepan, one of the plant’s managers. “It’s very difficult for us to handle.”
In the Seattle area, Boeing Co. has worked with the Washington state labor department on a plan to reopen its factories. It will be doling out cloth masks to most workers, saving the gold-standard N95 masks for a select few in more hazardous conditions.
Unlike office drones, factory workers have to show up in person to get the job done. Figuring out what basic protections they’ll need is part of the challenge. At Boeing, industrial engineers are analyzing the sequence of work on its assembly lines to find ways to spread apart workers.

Taking the Temperature

Airbus SE has divided employees at its plants into red and blue teams, who don’t see each other because they use different routes to enter and exit buildings. Volkswagen AG is allotting more time between shifts and reducing expectations for production because it takes longer for people to move around each other at a safe distance. Ford Motor Co. is experimenting with wearable devices that would buzz workers if they get too close together.
While the virus can be transmitted by people with no symptoms, many manufacturers are doing temperature checks, whether with thermometers, thermal imaging cameras or — in the case of Fiat Chrysler Automobiles NV in the U.S. — reusable forehead strips.
Fiat Chrysler, whose CEO Mike Manley is one of the executives talking with Trump about reopening the economy, is requiring workers to fill out a health questionnaire two hours before reporting to work each day. They must bring either a hard copy, or scan a QR code with their phone, to prove they aren’t displaying signs of illness or exposure to the virus, according to documents obtained by Bloomberg. Workers can’t enter the plant without it.
Some companies are closing cafeterias in favor of vending machines. Dongfeng PSA in Wuhan is handing out prepared lunchboxes to employees, who must eat at least 1.5 meters apart with their backs to each other.
Zhejiang Geely Holding Group Co. said Chairman Li Shufu wrote a song to keep workers motivated through such dreariness. “A world full of expectations/Turned to dust of yesterday,” the lyrics go. “Their sorrow flowing into the sea/But the flower of love is quietly blooming.”

The Airplane

When air travel resumes in earnest, it’s likely that hand sanitizers, face masks and thermometers will become standard at most major airports, said David Powell, medical adviser for the International Air Transport Association, a trade group. All three have shortcomings, but can also reassure passengers, he said.
The International Civil Aviation Organization, which sets global flying standards, wants to establish a “public health corridor concept.” Under such a plan, major airlines, airports, public authorities and other parties would adopt common protocols for screening, boarding, in-flight procedures, arrivals, customs and baggage.
“We cannot all just stop flying,” Ansa Jordaan, the group’s chief of aviation medicine, said during an April 15 webcast.
Emirates Airline said this week it was the first to conduct rapid Covid-19 blood tests, with results available in 10 minutes for passengers flying Wednesday from Dubai to Tunisia. It plans to extend the procedure to other flights, according to Chief Operating Officer Adel Al Redha.
Other carriers are attempting less invasive measures. Etihad Airways, another major airline in the United Arab Emirates, plans to deploy touchless self-service devices at its hub airport in Abu Dhabi to identify travelers with medical conditions, including the early stages of coronavirus.
In the U.S., American Airlines Group Inc. plans to continue spacing customers apart during boarding and flights, conducting extensive cleanings of aircraft and reducing food and beverage service to limit contact, CEO Doug Parker said in an April 15 video message.
“When you do fly, aircraft cleanliness and social distancing matter greatly,” he said.

The Store

In China, it’s become standard to have your temperature taken any time you want to go shopping. Visitors to the Wuhan International Plaza luxury mall are checked for a fever at the door, before they queue up to be served one at a time at Louis Vuitton.
Levi Strauss & Co. disinfects its Chinese stores three times a day and requires temperature checks for customers, who are expected to wear masks before entering the store. Fitting rooms and products that have been tried on are disinfected each time they’re used.
It’s unclear whether practices implemented in China will make their way to other parts of the world, though several companies said they’ll learn from their experience in Asia.

Drive-Thru Shopping

Another technique is to keep shoppers out of the store altogether. Dixons Carphone Plc, the electronics retailer, is considering plans for contact-free “drive-thru” style stores to limit the risk of coronavirus for staff and customers. Shoppers would park outside, call the store to select items to buy, use a contactless system to pay and then open their trunks so staff could deliver the products.
Salespeople at luxury retailers in China were already using social media to engage with customers before the outbreak, but they’ve stepped up the effort since, adding clients on WeChat and sending them information about the latest trends. Louis Vuitton tried showcasing its summer product line in a livestream show on March 26 featuring a social-media star, but was ridiculed for the quality of the video. Sometimes there’s no substitute for personal contact.

The Restaurant

Buffets and salad bars will be re-thought, and self-serve drink stations may be “a thing of the past,” said Taco John’s CEO Jim Creel, who added that other changes are afoot at the 387-store chain. Taco John’s popular salsa bar — around for the past 15 years — may be removed.
“We hope we don’t have to take them out — that we’ll be able to figure out a way to make them still work — but I’m afraid the fear factor our there will force us to go to a pre-packaged option.”
A test of self-ordering kiosks may also get pulled back. “It was a good idea three months ago, but not so good today,” Creel said.

Phone Pay

In China, restaurants and even bars have opened back up in Shanghai, with varying limits on seating arrangements – some allow six to a table, others only one. In Beijing, restaurants are doing temperature checks. In Wuhan, most places are still delivery-only.
“In the short run, as dining rooms open back up again, you’ll probably see many restaurants space their tables a little bit further apart,” said Jack Li, CEO of menu researcher Datassential. “You’ll see more restaurants try to adopt phone pay. So not having to hand your money or card to anyone. You’re certainly going to see more places continue to do things like contactless delivery.”
Starbucks Corp. is taking a store-by-store approach to resuming business activities in the U.S., with services limited to drive-thru, delivery and takeout via mobile orders and contactless pickup.
“As we experienced in China, this will be a journey,” CEO Kevin Johnson wrote in a memo to staff on Thursday.

The Menu

Chains are cutting back menus, focusing on products that sell best and are easy to make. Romano’s Macaroni Grill has pared down its menu to 70% of what it used to be, saying goodbye to pizzas and calzones recently. McDonald’s all-day breakfast menu is gone.
Fazoli’s Italian restaurant chain is trying to secure Purell sanitizing stations – four for each store — along with “millions” of alcohol-based wipes for re-opening the dining rooms of its 216 locations. The company is also re-thinking bathrooms and looking into touch-less soap dispensers. It’s an investment, but a worthwhile one, says CEO Carl Howard.
“I want to let the consumer know I’m doing everything I can to keep them as safe as possible,” Howard said in an interview.

The Arena

Large public gatherings aren’t top of mind yet in China, but Trump and the people who run the U.S.’s biggest sports leagues appear aligned in their thinking that live games, at least in some form, are a critical part of helping the country recover.
“The progression needs to be open outdoor sports first, golf, tennis, swimming so that we can start to test the waters — that I’m fine with,” said billionaire Mark Cuban, who owns the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks.
One obstacle may be local politicians. When UFC floated plans to host an event this weekend on tribal land in California without spectators, it was pressure from politicians, including Governor Gavin Newsom, that led to its cancellation. Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti has reportedly discussed the possibility of prohibiting large gatherings like concerts and sporting events in the city for another year.

The Movies

That said, there’s billions on the line for sports leagues, sponsors and media networks if the games don’t resume soon. Anthony Fauci, the nation’s leading infectious-disease expert, has said that that the only way to do that this summer is to close venues to fans and keep all the players, coaches and referees isolated from society.
Cinema owners are also waiting to see when health officials give them clearance to open up. Cinemark Holdings Inc., the third-largest U.S. movie chain, has been in discussions with major film studios about when to release blockbusters again. The chain’s management thinks they could begin bringing back staff starting in late June, then build up a marketing campaign for a broader re-opening on July 1.
The experience won’t be like it was before coronavirus hit. The chain will either have to limit the available tickets for each showing, leaving about half its seats open. Or it may eliminate reserved seating, so customers can voluntarily spread themselves out when they arrive. Cleaning will have to be ramped up, and opening hours may be limited to accommodate the changes.
“How long that will take? We’re not completely certain,” said Mark Zoradi, Cinemark’s CEO, on a call with analysts and investors on Wednesday. “But we’re planning on anywhere from one to three months to light up that engine again and then to begin with higher profile, new product.”

The Casino

Las Vegas casino executives have discussed opening with as little as one-third of their rooms available, with limited entrances where guests’ temperatures could be checked. Casino employees would wear masks and gloves, and gamblers would sit at least a chair apart at blackjack tables.
The moves are similar to what is already occurring in Macau, the world’s largest gambling market, where casinos closed for 15 days in February and reopened under tight restrictions.
The companies are also discussing enhanced cleaning techniques, something unions have requested.

Fun Parks

The $19.3 billion U.S. theme park industry is also making plans, though no one knows when gates will reopen.
When they do, employees may be wearing masks and temperatures may be checked not only at the entrances but inside as well, said Dennis Speigel, a theme park consultant in Cincinnati. Operators may also institute virtual queues, where guests snag a place in line through an app and come to ride when it’s their turn.
“The theme park of the future is going to have to take a much different turn, from distancing to wanding to cleaning,” Speigel said. “I’ve never heard the fear in the voices that I’ve heard. Nobody knows what they’re going to be doing.”
Bloomberg News - With assistance from Thomas Buckley, Thomas Seal, Dana Hull, Natalie Wong, Julie Johnsson, Charlotte Ryan, Christoph Rauwald, Kyunghee Park, Gabrielle Coppola, Shiho Takezawa, Tian Ying, Chunying Zhang, Keith Naughton, Mary Schlangenstein, Justin Bachman, Layan Odeh, Jordyn Holman, Deirdre Hipwell, Robert Williams, Kim Bhasin, Jinshan Hong, Claire Che, Leslie Patton, Kelly Gilblom and Christopher Palmeri.

Weekly Events Thread 12/30/19 - 1/5/20

Please, feel free to add any events below! Check out the Events Calendar and Visitor's Guide for more info!

Looking to meet up with people? Check out Meetup St. Louis.

New Year's Eve Events

Ballpark Village
- Ballpark Village is ringing in this New Year with added entertainment featuring the region's best DJ's along with the Pop 2000 tour hosted by Chris Kirkpatrick of *NYSNC with performances by O-Town, Ryan Cabrera & LFO's Brad Fischetti.
Brennan's Work & Leisure
- Brennan’s Work & Leisure and Anti-Agency invite you on a space odyssey to celebrate the New Year, 2020.
- Once aboard the ship, enjoy a premium bar selection, heavy appetizers of the future by Chef Josh Galliano (Companion Bakery, The Libertine) and interstellar desserts by Pastry Chef Tai Davis. Groove to the night's soundscape provided by DJ Black Guy, then step into the Zero Gravity Live Feed Photo Booth to send evidence of your journey back home.
- All passengers must report to the orbiter near midnight for a live music performance, projection show and champagne toast to the New Year. Dress: modern cocktail attire / space shuttle launch
Casino Queen
- Casino Queen invites area residents to partake in one of St. Louis’ biggest parties of the decade during its New Year’s Eve celebration on Tuesday, December 31. Guests will enjoy a specialty buffet, live DJ cranking out the tunes on the casino floor, a countdown to midnight with party favors for all and exclusive prize giveaways throughout the evening.
Chase Park Plaza
- Dress to impress for 7th Annual New Year's Eve Ball at The Chase Park Plaza. The celebration takes place in the legendary Khorassan Ballroom and will feature musical performances of DJ Greasy, Lamar Harris & The L, and a Frank Sinatra tribute.
- Also, the event will have a premium open bar, passed hors d'oeuvres, a balloon drop, and a champagne toast at midnight.
Downtown NYE Bar Crawl
- Take your tribe into the New Year at the 2020 NYE (New Year’s Eve) Bar Crawl taking place Tuesday, December 31, 2019 at many locations in St. Louis
- Washington Ave Venues (List Can Change)
  - Lucas Park Grille (1234 Washington Ave)
  - Flannery's (1324 Washington Ave)
  - Rosalita's (1235 Washington Ave)
  - Hair Of The Dog (1212 Washington Ave)
  - 314 The City Bar (1137 Washington Ave)
  - Missouri Bar & Grill (701 N Tucker)
  - OveUnder (911 Washington Ave)
- The Landing Venues (List Can Change)
  - Big Daddy's Landing (108 Morgan St)
  - Morgan Street Brewery (721 N 2nd St)
  - The Lou Eats & Drinks (710 N 2nd St)
Evangeline’s Bistro and Music House
- On New Year's Eve, Evangeline’s Bistro and Music House will host live music of all genres beginning at 6 p.m. until 12:45 a.m. The restaurant's full menu is served until 10 p.m. with a complimentary appetizer buffet from 10 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. and a champagne toast at midnight. No cover; cash bar. Tuesday, December 31, 6 p.m. to 12:45 a.m.
From Skybar & Union 30
- Your evening begins with a three-course, prix fixe dinner at the swanky Union 30 restaurant in Hotel Saint Louis, where options include a 30-ounce tomahawk ribeye, a 24-ounce dry-aged sous vide pork chop, or king crab legs. The $125 price includes admission to the NYE Blast at FORM Skybar on the 14th floor, which will host the Kim Massie Band, an open premium bar, and an appetizer buffet. There’s no charge for the prime view of the fireworks show at Kiener Plaza
Four Seasons
- In one of the most picturesque locations in all of Downtown St. Louis, meet us in the exclusive Sky Lobby to ring in the New Year. Recreating the eclectic energy of New York City, join us to watch the ball drop under the stars at midnight and move your feet to Spanky's Dueling Piano!
Gateway Arch Riverboats
- Ring in the new year with a view of the magnificent St. Louis skyline at this party cruise hosted by the Gateway Arch Riverboats. Featuring an elegant three-course dinner, open bar, DJ entertainment and a midnight champagne toast, the fun kicks off at 9 p.m. Reservations required.
Helium Comedy Club
- Ring in the New Year with an evening filled with laughter courtesy of Ryan Niemiller! Skip the chaos of the bars and enjoy a special night with food and drinks from the comfort of our restaurant, bar, lounge, and showroom.
Hollywood Casino
- Put a little Great Gatsby in your New Year’s Eve celebration with the Roaring '20s New Year’s Eve party at Hollywood Casino.
Hyatt Regency
- Ring in the new decade with two ballrooms with live music and fun at Hyatt Regency St. Louis at The Arch’s Ultimate New Year’s Eve Party. The celebration will include a delicious dinner buffet, an open bar, photo booth, party favors and live music throughout the evening from Groovethang and Broseph.
The Last Hotel
- Celebrate the last day of 2019 at The Last! Join others in the Lobby Bar + on their fabulous Rooftop and toast to the New Year in style.
Molly's in Soulard
- Get ready to party! Molly's In Soulard has one of the THE BEST New Years Eve parties in STL. They've got: 5 open bars, Two balloon drops, Champagne toasts, VIP buffets, VIP tables, and cabanas
POP & Baileys' Chocolate Bar
- One of the more appropriate places to ring in the new year and decade is POP, Dave and Kara Bailey’s bubbles bar and restaurant in Lafayette Square. This year, POP and Baileys’ Chocolate Bar (located upstairs) have teamed up to provide an all-inclusive celebration on December 31. The all-inclusive celebration begins at 9 p.m. Food stations include appetizers from POP and specialty desserts from Baileys’ Chocolate Bar. Tickets include beer, wine, bubbles, and cocktails, including chocolate martinis and dessert cocktails.
Powell Symphony Hall
- Music Director Stéphane Denève and the SLSO bring 2019 to a close at the BMO Wealth Management New Year’s Eve Celebration. Enjoy an evening of music and surprises at St. Louis’ best-kept secret. Bring family and friends together for this musical celebration you’ll remember throughout 2020.
Tin Roof
- Out with the old and in with a new decade. Celebrate with Tin Roof at their NYE "End of a Decade" Black and White Ball. Dress up in your best or come as you are and catch the best live music and DJ's around.
Westport Social
- Celebrating NYE at Westport Social means you can play like a kid while partying like an adult. For just a $25 cover, guests can play the full range of games at the Westport Plaza watering hole while also indulging in a balloon drop and champagne toast at midnight and dance to live music.
Wheelhouse
- Another year in the books and there’s no other holiday party like Wheelhouse NYE. And nothing is better than closing out 2019 and starting 2020 with you, your closest friends and WH doin’ what they all do best, wild out.

Anheuser Busch Brewery Lights
- November 22, 2019 - December 30, 2019
- Brewery Lights is a family-friendly event, open to all ages at no cost. Guests can attend every Friday through Sunday, from 5 to 10 p.m.
- Join others when they Flip The Switch on November 22nd with St. Louis Blues Captain, Alex Pietrangelo.
- Witness and experience the magic of more than a million twinkling lights during the 34th annual Brewery Lights at the Anheuser-Busch St. Louis Brewery! Guests are invited to stroll down Pestalozzi Street to marvel as the brewery is turned into a remarkable holiday experience with something for everyone, including a Kids Zone.
Candy Cane Lane
- December 2019
- Every holiday season, the neighbors of this Saint Louis Hills street transform this ordinary lane into a winter wonderland that most of St. Louis knows as “Candy Cane Lane.” Hundreds of strands of Christmas Lights are strung, inflatable snowmen and Christmas trees are blown up, wreaths are hung, and even sand displays are made. Every year, hundreds of family-packed cars drive down Candy Cane Lane to see the wonderful Holiday sights.
Disney on Ice Presents: Celebrate Memories
- January 2-5, 2020
- Your favorite Disney stories come to life at Disney On Ice presents Celebrate Memories, coming to Enterprise Center January 2-5! Sail along with Moana on her high-seas adventure and dance with Woody, Buzz and all the Toy Story friends. Feel inspired when love wins in Frozen and dreams come true for the Disney Princesses. Share the excitement and make new memories the whole family will treasure forever!
First Fridays at the St. Louis Science Center
- January 3, 2020
- Learn the real science behind science fiction and mingle with others interested in the geekier side of life. Each month, First Friday features a different theme, hands-on activities, pub-style trivia, engaging presentations, photo opps for showing off your costume, and food and drink specials.
Garden Glow at the Missouri Botanical Garden
- November 23, 2019 - January 4, 2020
- Garden Glow features a million lights surrounding visitors with a spectacle of unique installations amid some of the Garden’s most iconic locations. Enjoy interactive photo opportunities, traditional holiday music and festivities, delicious food and drinks and more as the Garden is transformed around you into a winter wonderland.
- Santa will visit Garden Glow from 5 to 8 p.m. on Monday and Tuesday nights from November 25 through December 17. (Note: Garden Glow is not open on Dec. 9.)
History Made: St. Louis Blues Exhibit
- Running until January 26, 2020
- History was made on June 12, 2019. It’s a date that will forever live in St. Louis sports history. On that day, the St. Louis Blues hoisted the Stanley Cup for the first time. On Tuesday, Oct. 1, 2019, the Missouri History Museum, in collaboration with the St. Louis Blues, will open History Made.
- Featuring more than 20 artifacts on loan from the St. Louis Blues from the historic playoff run and the Stanley Cup Finals, History Made tells the story of the underdog team that took home the NHL’s highest honor and united its community in the process.
Holiday in the Park at Six Flags
- November 23 - January 1, 2020
- A dazzling winter spectacular featuring more than a million glittering lights, holiday entertainment, delicious seasonal treats, visits with Santa and many of our popular theme park rides. Combine holiday traditions with a thrilling family experience that is uniquely Six Flags.
- Six Flags St. Louis extends its season and will be open weekends and select weekdays from November 23 through January 1, 2020 for this one-of-a-kind magical event.
- A unique mix of holiday cheer with some of your favorite coasters & thrill rides makes Holiday in the Park a family tradition like no other. Meet Santa Claus in the North Pole or jump on Mind Eraser or Roar for a mid-winter rush. Then you can roast marshmallows near a cracking wood fire before you catch one of our many holiday shows.
Holiday Spirits Holiday Pop Up Bar
- November 29, 2019 - January 9, 2020
- Looking for somewhere new to get your party on this Holiday Season? For just a few weeks only, Oaked will be providing the very best in holiday-themed libations, good food, and an immersive atmosphere.
- Housed in a historic brick building with almost 6,000 sq. feet of space (excluding the outdoor heated patio & bar), featuring 3 bars, and 2 levels of fun. Once inside, you’ll be transported to a Winter Wonderland and treated like family. Santa Claus will be on hand to spread holiday cheer and greet our guests as they arrive.
- Oaked is located at 1031 Lynch St. St. Louis, MO 63118
Kwanzaa: Festival of the First Fruits at the Botanical Garden
- Kwanzaa is a Swahili term that means “first fruits,” and this contemporary African-American holiday centers around the feast table of the harvest. A Kwanzaa ceremony highlights a day of storytelling, craft and jewelry displays, and authentic African drumming and musical performances.
The Loading Dock Ice Rink in Grafton, IL
- November 23, 2019 - March 8, 2020
- It’s that time of year! The Loading Dock Bar & Grill in Grafton is gearing up for the Grand Re-Opening of their Ice Skating Rink on Saturday, November 23rd. Each November The Boatworks is transformed into a Winter Wonderland offering ice skating, s’mores tables, and a full menu and bar, that is sure to entertain adults and kids alike.
- The rink will be open Friday, Saturday, & Sunday through March 8. 2020 with extended hours during Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. Special events this year include a visit from Santa and a New Years Eve party.
Miracle Christmas Pop Up Bar
- November 25, 2019 - December 31, 2019
- Venue: Small Change 2800 Indiana Avenue St. Louis, MO 63118
- Miracle is a Christmas-themed pop-up cocktail bar that serves holiday cocktails in a festive setting. With kitschy holiday décor, professionally-developed cocktails and the nostalgic energy of the best office party you’ve ever been to, Miracle is sure to get even the grouchiest grinch in the holiday spirit.
Polar Express Train Ride
- November 29, 2019 - December 30, 2019
- Guests will take a real train ride from St. Louis Union Station to the 'North Pole' and discover the magical journey of one boy's search for the real meaning of Christmas. The Train Ride departs from St. Louis Union Station for a 45-minute adventure to the North Pole. The train ride is promised to be filled with magic, songs, and cheer.
Soulard Farmer's Market
- Wednesday - Saturday
- 8:00 AM - 5:00 PM
- Soulard Farmers Market is located at 730 Carroll Street in St. Louis, Missouri, a half mile north of the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. The market is open Wednesday through Saturday, year round. They feature locally grown and shipped in goods, including: produce, meats, cheeses, spices, gourmet kettle corn, flowers, baked goods, and general merchandise. There are also several different eateries that have many food options, which allows customers the convenience to grab a quick bite to eat and a drink while shopping.
Steinberg Ice Skating Rink in Forest Park
- November 15, 2019 - March 1, 2020
- Steinberg Skating Rink is the largest outdoor ice skating rink in the Midwest, offering public skating all day, everyday—including all holidays. Your skate admission is valid for all day. You may arrive at anytime during business hours & skate as long as you like.
Up on the Rooftop Holiday Pop-up Cocktail Experience
- November 29, 2019 - December 31, 2019
- Go "Up on the Rooftop" for a whimsical holiday cocktail pop-up experience with extreme decor and delicious seasonal drinks, small plates and more. Three Sixty at the top of the Hilton at the Ballpark overlooks the downtown lights and the glowing Gateway Arch. Cozy indoor spaces and outdoor patio fire pits.
Wild Lights at the Saint Louis Zoo
- November 29, 2019 - December 30, 2019
- Wild Lights at the Saint Louis Zoo offers a chance for you to stroll through an enchanting holiday experience.
WinterMarkt at Urban Chestnut
- November 30, 2019 - December 21, 2019 (Saturdays Only)
- Usher in the holiday season with a “traditional” European WinterMarkt at Urban Chestnut’s Midtown Brewery & Biergarten. Eat, drink, and be merry with local vendors on hand for holiday shopping
Winter Wonderland at Tilles Park
- November 22, 2019 - January 2, 2020
- 5:30 pm - 9:30 pm
- Enjoy a stroll through more than one million twinkling lights at Winter Wonderland. Tickets are $6, not including MetroTix fees. Pre-registration is required. Dogs on a leash, cameras, strollers and wagons are all welcome. Desserts, hot chocolate, and other beverages will be available for purchase. Also, be on the lookout for a special visitor from the North Pole until 8:45 pm!
Winterfest at the Arch
- November 23 - January 26, 2019 (Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays)
- A favorite St. Louis winter tradition for all ages, the fourth annual Winterfest, presented by Bank of America and World Wide Technologies returns to Kiener Plaza and features a community ice rink, a Winter Market shopping district, reserved Igloo seating with Sugarfire table service and more exciting events than ever before.

Sporting Events This Week

Attractions Around the Area

Recurring Outdoor Activities

Big Muddy Adventures – STL Riverfront Adventure
- Big Muddy Adventures was established in 2002. They are the first professional outfitteguiding company providing access to the wild wonders of the Middle Mississippi and Lower Missouri Rivers.
Hidden Valley Zip Tour
- ZipTour zip lines take about 2.5 hours to complete. Tours run from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. Riders are assigned to tour groups which are escorted through the course by two safety guides.
Hidden Valley Ski Resort
- Running until March 1, 2020
- Always check the Snow Report before coming out to Hidden Valley for updates on snow and tubing conditions. Skiing, snowboarding, and tubing are weather-dependent activities and conditions and hours are subject to change without notice.

Recurring Events on the Mississippi River

Gateway Arch Events

Comedy This Week

Live Music This Week

SoFar St. Louis
- Experience the Gateway to the West with Sofar! From The Grove to Cherokee Street to The Loop, they're reimagining live events through curated, secret performances in intimate settings. Come mingle with touring acts, local and international artists, fellow music lovers and our imaginative hosts.
St. Louis Symphony Concert Calendar
- Celebrated as one of today's most exciting and enduring orchestras, the St. Louis Symphony Orchestra is the second-oldest orchestra in the country, marking its 140th year with the 2019/2020 season and its first with Music Director Stéphane Denève. Widely considered one of the world's finest orchestras, the SLSO maintains its commitment to artistic excellence, educational impact, and community connections – all in service to its mission of enriching lives through the power of music.
This calendar includes the following venues.
- Blueberry Hill Duck Room
- Delmar Hall
- Halo Bar
- The Pageant
Other Live Music Venue Calendars

Review Of Hawaii And NCL's Pride Of America

I just got back and a friend who is taking the exact same cruise and is also cost conscious asked me to give him all my lessons learned. I figured you all might benefit even if some of this information isn't strictly about cruising. I'm going to ask my travel companions to review it (first time in Hawaii and first time cruising) to see if they have anything to add.

Getting There And Getting Around

Air Fare
With Southwest now offering tickets to Hawaii, I expect the competitive market to drop prices across the board but unless you are fortunate enough to live on the west coast in a city with flights that fly direct, air fare can be pricey. I had to get 4 people there round-trip (2 from rural Maine, 1 from Louisville Kentucky and 1 from the Baltimore/D.C. area). I ended up signing up for the Chase Sapphire credit card (annual fee waived for the first year) and the Alaska Airlines credit card that gave me a buy one/take one sign up offer. My total air fare cost was $2400. Besides the credit card, there was no secret other than monitoring the prices as far in advance as possible to see what typical prices are and then striking when there was a decent sale. I would also mention following Scott's Cheap Flights on the off chance a deal becomes available for when you were already planning on traveling.
Ground Transportation
We flew into Waikiki on Tuesday (cruise started on Saturday) so I got a rental car through Autoslash. The total cost for a mid-size for 4 days was $176 and ended up being from Alamo. While I feel this was a good deal as I had four people, if you're not 100% sure you will need it - you can probably get by with an Uber, taxi or even a hop on/off bus (see excursions later). Many excursions had an option for hotel pickup/drop-off.
Probably the best deal I found was Star Taxi which only charged $25 for up to 4 people one-way to/from the cruise terminal and not much more for other locations. Call 1 hour before you need the service.
Parking
Parking is EXPENSIVE so be sure to do a lot of research if you plan on renting a vehicle.

Oahu

General In your mind, you have this idea of what Hawaii is going to be like. Oahu (specifically Honolulu/Waikiki) is not it. It is very over developed and crowded. Many places are run-down because investors have purchased the property but have chosen to wait until conditions are more favorable to develop. There is a very large homeless population in Hawaii overall but I was shocked by the number of shanty towns and abandoned vehicles doubling as homes I saw on Oahu.
Excursions

Snorkel-Cruise-Swim-Dolphins-Turtles - highly recommended (hint: This excursion may be cheaper directly with the vendor Dolphins And You - if you buy the photos, you will have to go to their Waikiki office later to pick them up and they will offer you a 10% discount on merchandise at that time).
Shark Dive - Unfortunately, this tour got canceled due to weather so I can't comment on it. Since it is on the north shore, the plan was to do an early morning adventure (when the water is calmest) and then spend the rest of the time exploring the beaches and surfers. (hints: You may be able to get this cheaper directly with the vendor North Shore Shark Adventures and if you drive, take one way to get there and another way to get back so you can experience more of the island).
Sunset Cruise & Show - The people I was going with had never cruised before so this was to get their feet wet so to speak. It was nice but not spectacular. You may be able to get it cheaper directly through the vendor Star Of Honolulu. On Fridays, they offer an extra hour for a nominal fee upgrade which includes fireworks. I didn't see the fireworks myself but several people I talked to said they are put on by a hotel and aren't anything special. (hint: If you drive, they will validate your parking ticket and parking will only be $4 instead of $18).
Waikiki Trolley Hop-On Hop-Off You can trade time for money and if you have time, this would be a much more cost effective solution to getting around and is very configurable (how many days of use, how many different lines, etc.)
Polynesian Culture Center - I had the Ambassador Luau Package With Circle Island Tour of Oahu. Pickup was at 8:30 in the morning and drop off wasn't until after 10 PM so it is a long day. If you do this one I have several recommendations. First, take it early in the trip because it includes a multi-day pass so you can go back at no charge for 3 more days and the Circle Island tour allows you to see some areas you may want to explore on your own. Second, you don't get food until 6 PM so be sure to eat breakfast first and plan the rest of the time accordingly (bring snacks for instance). The only thing I was disappointed in was the Diamond Head didn't actually drive up to the crater. Update After the initial post, I was reminded by mashel2811 of a few things. The PCC is Mormon owned/operated which has pros/cons. On the downside, there is no alcohol on-site and things overall tend on the conservative side. Not that I have an issue with that but if you're looking for authenticity then this would represent Polynesia post Christian missionaries. On the upside, it is a huge facility that truly will allow you to experience many of the cultures besides just Hawaii. Also, regardless of how you feel about religion, the money taken in from PCC helps to sponsor many students education from all over Polynesia. I had nothing to compare the luau to but I have heard from several other people that there are much better options (the luau at PCC is optional). The Breath Of Life was awesome.
Pearl Harbor (see the end of the cruise excursions)

Recommendations/Notes

You probably want a beach other than Waikiki due to the number of people - Hanauma Bay looked awesome. If you do decide to stay in Waikiki, walking the coastline towards Diamond Head is a better choice for the beach instead of around all the hotels. This is because in Hawaii, beach access and water is considered a public service (free)
What is and isn't expensive didn't make any sense. Eggs imported from the mainland were cheaper than eggs from Hawaii despite chickens EVERYWHERE but I was able to get a large jar of peanut butter for $1.89. The best place I found for groceries was Don Quijote and it had a free parking garage.
Souvenirs were much cheaper on other islands
It rains - almost daily - but not for long - don't let it fool you - WEAR sunscreen of at least SP50
Hydrate more than usual - especially if you're drinking beer like me
Updates From original post below
You can get insanely discounted Pearl Harbor tickets from recreation.gov but they sell out in 5 minutes. Exactly 7am Hawaii time they sell tickets for the next day or for 2 months out. Nothing in between. I recommend having 2-3 people trying it simultaneous for different time slots. The early tickets sell faster. Then the bus ride anywhere is $2.50 each. When you board the bus ask for a transfer ticket. The transfer ticket is good for two more rides for the next 2.5 hours. If you get out of PH within the time slot you can ride back for free.
There's a stand near Breakout Waikiki that is a hard sell timeshare sales pitch (couples only). If you're willing to sit through it, they give you $150 towards an excursion or a free meal and a $120 Visa gift card (as of March 2019). If you want the exact location, message me.
You may think being a Costco member will help you out on expenses and you're probably right but know that the busiest Costco in the world is on Oahu and they claim 1 in 4 people have membership so plan accordingly (think shopping for the latest toy on Christmas Eve)

Pride Of America

I have to be honest, this was hands down the most expensive cruise I have taken and it was the worst cruise ship. I had a great time but there was a lot left to be desired.

Entertainment was very underwhelming - I believe unlike other mass-market cruise lines, NCL's entertainers are on multi-month contracts just like other staff. This tends to be bad for entertainers like comedians (how many different sets can they have prepared) but should be better for magicians (you shouldn't have to rely on the suitcase you get through security at the airport). I have seen a Vegas quality magic show on NCL before (Norwegian Spirit last November) but this act was honestly no better than a birthday party. I could go on but I will summarize it as this: On Carnival, I struggle deciding what I am going to do because of so many good things where as on this ship, I struggled to find anything I actually wanted to do.
Beer prices were outrageous and included a mandatory 20% gratuity and since you spend a LOT of time in port, taxes too. In each port, I found a better selection of beer right off the ship for at least 20 - 30% cheaper than on the ship. If you do drink on the ship however, I highly recommend the Gold Rush Saloon as it has a couple of beers on tap you can't get anywhere else. It has a self-serve popcorn machine and is adjacent to the buffet so you can get self-serve ice cream too.
The food was mediocre (main dining quality was about the same as the buffet which was good but not great). I didn't spend the money to try any of the specialty dining.

Update: One thing that really stood out as being a good thing is that the room had 3 US standard outlets!!!
Why Does It Cost So Much

There is no casino to subsidize the fare cost
It is a US Flag cruise ship which means it has to abide by US labor laws (this is an indirect result of the Jones Act as it doesn't travel to any foreign ports)
Hawaii not only has a sales tax but a tourist imposed General Excise Tax which of course NCL passes on to you
Exclusivity - unless you want an extremely sea day intense cruise from California, around Hawaii, to Mexico and then back to California (or similar) cruise - they're the only show in town

Hint: You should get the NCL Mobile App. It includes dinner reservations, account charges, dinner reservations, deck plans, passenger to passenger chat for an additional fee ($10 vs Carnival's $5) and other nifty features.
Observations
I was astounded by the number of first time cruisers I saw (based on their ship card color). Because so many of the employees were American, I was also surprised by how many told me that they were on their first contract and wouldn't be back. The people (both employees and passengers) were incredibly friendly and most everyone seemed to be having a good time. I didn't see long lines at guest services. I mentioned earlier how this was the worst ship I had been on - and, while true, shouldn't give you the impression that I didn't have a great time. For my traveling companions, they had nothing to compare it to and other than the entertainment - they had no complaints at all and loved it.

Day 1 & 2 Maui (overnight)

If you have ever been on a Caribbean cruise and you didn't feel like paying for an expensive excursion you could always just walk off the ship and go to a beach or a shopping district or a friendly bar - something. This is not the case in Maui. Where the Pride Of America docks there is absolutely nothing (it took 10 minutes to walk out of the port with chained link fence on both sides only to end up about another 10 minutes away from a strip mall). I do want to point out that the strip mall did have a few artisans selling things out on the sidewalk but this was far from what you will be used to at other locations.
So what to do instead?

Rent a car if you want to go on your own - day rentals are common and you will be in port overnight. You will have to do your own research as to what to do as I booked excursions for both days
Go up to Haleakala Crater for sunset or sunrise. I went for sunset as sunrise required leaving the ship at 3 AM. I can't stress how amazing this sunset was at nearly 2 miles above sea level. If you go, take plenty of warm (think Maine winter) cold. It was 44 degrees without the windchill when we arrived at around 5 PM (still sunny) and the temperature dropped significantly by the end of the sunset (around 6:40 for us but varies based on time of year).
Road To Hana - I didn't take this excursion but it is extremely popular. Most guests I spoke with said they absolutely loved it though a few called it the road to hell (it's an all day excursion)
Maui Northshore & Waterfall Walk - This is the one I took because it was rated as "easy" and one of my traveling companions has mobility issues. There is an alternative called Waterfall Hike that you may want to consider. This was a great excursion which took you into a historical town for lunch (delicious) and gave you some free time to explore the artisans (glass blowing, jewelry making, etc.) before taking you to the private access Wailele Farm. The waterfalls you can walk to (as opposed to hike to) were not breathtaking but overall the plants and flowers here were amazing. You will get an opportunity to eat many of the things you encounter so if you're feeling adventures, give it a try.
Choose another of NCL's Excursions
Choose something from Viator

Day 3 Hilo Hawaii

This is the first of two days on the island of Hawaii and it is on the eastern (very wet) side of the island. Normally doing two excursions in one day is a not recommended. I would make an exception here because the Botanical Gardens are not to be missed. It is a short excursion (2.5 hours), is relatively inexpensive (you can even do it on your own) and is offered at multiple times allowing you to get another excursion in.
Recommendations

The Botanical Gardens - either through NCL or directly with Hawaii Tropical Botanical Garden - they have social media as well if you have questions. Tip: One of my traveling companions said walk through twice - once looking down and once looking up because there is just so much to see.
Go zip-lining. I happened to choose Zipline Through Paradise as it had a tandem/parallel course (you got to zip at the same time as someone else). You can even hold hands on one line for a very special photo. You may even want to book directly with Kapohokine
Choose one of NCL's excusions
Choose one of Viator's options

Day 4 Kona Hawaii

The other side of the island is a stark contrast to Hilo as it is dry/desert climate. It is the only tender port on the cruise. Unfortunately, we didn't fare very well here on excursions but shopping and beer was good.
It has been on my bucket list to be in a real submarine and go over 100 feet to below the surface to the ocean floor. That's what 3 of us did here in Kona and while I am glad that I can now say I have done it (105'), the experience itself was underwhelming. To not interfere with the wildlife, the sub doesn't use any artificial lights nor does anything to attract the fish to your windows. This means almost everything is a monochrome blue (the color red doesn't exist at this depth for instance). It's also nearly impossible to get nice photos out the windows even though they are clear enough - just not the right conditions. Now, I met a guest back on the ship that said he had a phenomenal time on a sub that wasn't sponsored through NCL but I'm not sure what it was.
The other guest in my party decided to go on the Gold Coast & Cloud Forest excursion and was also not impressed. The gold supposedly comes from the Hawaii state fish (yellow trigger fish also known as humuhumunukunukuāpuaʻa) but apparently they haven't been plentiful enough to turn the coast gold for years. She also said if she was a coffee drinker, she probably would have enjoyed it more (they are famous for their coffee).
Recommendations

If you would like to buy coffee at a discount, a tour guide let me in on a little secret. To be called Kona Coffee it has to indicate what percentage is from Kona (i.e. 100%). Well, geography being what it is, the line between Kona and the region to south is arbitrary (created by humans) so buying coffee labeled just across the boarder (I forget the name of the place - I don't drink coffee) is 25% cheaper
If you want to see the pretty coral and reefs, consider a glass bottom boat ride. The bartender I chatted with told me that she used to work on the sub and a much more beautiful experience was the glass bottom boats.
Normally, the closer to port you are the more expensive things are - like souvenirs. That may in fact be the case in Kona but I found the prices at Whalers General Store to be very competitively priced. Many of the same items I saw at stops before here were at least 20% cheaper.
Have a drink or 6 at Paradise Brewing Company. I was fed up with the prices on the ship so I checked this place out (there was another one further up the street with a fairly large beer menu as well but they weren't very friendly so I moved on. I sat in here for hours (was one of the last tender boats back to the ship). It was extremely friendly - the beer was good, the food was good - I would definitely recommend.
Take an NCL excursion
Take a Viator option

Day 5 & 6 Kauai (Overnight)

Remember how I said you have this ideal image in your head of what Hawaii is and Oahu doesn't meet it. Kauai exceeds it - I fell in love and if I ever go back, I will just fly directly here and stay on this island - it is that good.
I am not going to suggest you do anything other than exactly what I did because I couldn't possibly imagine having a better time.
Recommendations

Day 1 - Best Of Kauai. I have no idea if a similar excursion can be booked elsewhere because it included 5 stops (Waimea canyon, Spouting Horn Park, Keoki's Paradise for lunch, Opaekaa Falls and Wailua River Fern Grotto). If you want to "build your own", just go to Waimea canyon and dine at Keoki's Paradise as they were the highlights of the day. If you are into photography and have gotten tired of lugging all of your lenses around, today is the day to have it all at the ready.
Day 2 - Mokihana Helicopter - There are no words to describe how amazing this was. I did discover that can get it substantially cheaper directly with Blue Hawaiian Helicopter Tours.

Now, there's more to the story than just these two excursions. First, since you're overnight you can stay out as late as you want. I asked our tour guide where an affordable place to get good beer close to the ship was. She recommended The Nawiliwili Tavern (or just the Tavern). It happens to be a 2 minute walk from one of the free shuttle stops and they have great pizza, beer and pool. Secret I learned this is also where a lot of the crew from the ship hang out after they get off at 9PM so if you want to have a real conversation and ask real questions - this is the place to do it. Once the bartender realized I was into craft beer and trying all they had, she told me about a brew pub not too far up the road that I really wanted to try but ran out of time.

Napali Coast (still day 6)

The cruise ship leaves port early (circa 2PM) and instead of heading to Honolulu backtracks around Kauai. There is a portion of the island that's only reachable by air (helicopter) or by sea (cruise ship) and I was fortunate enough to do both. Actually, our pilot said that a few of the beaches can be reached by a hiking 11+ miles but it isn't an easy hike. In any event, this is where the opening scenes of Jurassic Park were filmed if I remember correctly - utterly gorgeous. My pilot also let me in on a little secret - that the captain times the cruise ship to sunset when the coast is all lit up in spectacular colors so be out on deck with camera ready.

Day 7 - Honolulu (Pearl Harbor & City Tour)

I made a big mistake here. I booked a late flight so I could go to Pearl Harbor and then get dropped off at the airport. We had already done the Circle Island Tour and none of the other offerings were of interest. This was a mistake for two reasons.
Reason 1: Exhaustion
After having spent 5ish days in Waikiki and then taking a 7 day cruise, we were wiped out and really didn't have the stamina to really take it all in.
Recommendations

Eat a big breakfast as this tour didn't include food
Bring food for the tour and possibly the airport (see airport notes below)
The cheapest place to get hot dogs at the time was at the Missouri ($6 as of March 2019)
If you are using your phone as a camera, practice taking photos against the bus window as the city tour took you to some neat places but they didn't stop to let you off
The tour includes the Missouri and the Arizona - everything else is additional
At the time of this writing, the Arizona was still under repair so you only took a boat close. You will be watching a very emotionally moving video before the boat ride so sit as close to the exit doors (front left) as you can so that when it's over you can pick one of the corners of the boat to get unobstructed photos from - they don't allow you to stand up and they don't play. Oh, and if you are sensitive to loud noises - when the bomb actually drops on the Arizona it is about 10 times louder than the rest of the film so be prepared
Our guide got tickets for the Arizona at 2:15 PM, helped us navigate the shuttle over to the Missouri and told us he would see us at the bus 3:30 PM. If you're not comfortable navigating on your own then this is probably not the tour for you
It's only 5 minutes from the airport so if you want to stay longer because of a late flight it would be fast/cheap to go on your own - just ask to get your luggage off the bus

Reason 2: Airport
If you have a late flight home, I'm sorry. All of your checked bags have to be screened by agriculture (certain plants are not allowed to leave the state) which is airline specific and unless that airline is running flights all day (looking at you Alaska), then you will have to wait for them to open before you can even check in. While you wait, there is essentially no place to eat (Starbucks and a bar that serves hot dogs for $12.50 - yes, $12.50). I recommend you keep some food with you for this reason. They do offer a baggage hold service but the prices were ridiculous (4 checked bags for 24 hours was $100). Sorry if it seems like I am whining - it was the end of a long trip and I was returning to reality.

Update: Viator

In this post, I have provided a number of links to NCL's excursions, directly to the vendor and also to Viator. Viator is part of Tripadvisor and generally speaking, you can trust the reviews. On most of the bookings, you can cancel for a full refund up to 24 hours in advance. They are competitively priced and you can usually get a discount. For instance, new customers will get offered a 10% discount off their first purchase. Companies like Ebates and TopCashBack will offer an additional 3 to 6% cash back as well. Use a credit card that gives back 2-4% on travel and it can really reduce the price. I haven't had too much trouble figuring out what vendor was being used through Viator so you could just book with them direct too and just use them as a way to find fun things to do and use the reviews to distinguish between what's good and what's not.

What's happening around town (Wed, Nov 27th - Tue, Dec 3rd)

Oklahoma City's event list.

Wednesday, Nov 27th

🍴 Anthem Drown Night! (HiLo Club - Oklahoma City) Our local friends at Anthem Brewing Co. have some great beers! Every Wednesday night from 9pm to close enjoy $8 Drown Night! Their Power Pils will be flowing!
Big Turkey Bowl (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:00pm Wednesday Game Night in the Remington Park Casino means Big Cash Prizes and Turkeys if you’re successful in the Big Turkey Bowl! Earn entries every…
Bi-Weekly Meetup (51st st. Speakeasy - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:00pm
🏃 Christmas in the Park 2019 (Yukon City Park - Yukon) Thru Sat, Nov 30th Start Time: 6:00pm It’s time for Yukon’s breathtaking Christmas in the Park, a magical wonderland of visual entertainment offered starting The Saturday before Thanksgiving,…
Edmond Electric's Luminance 2019 (Mitch Park - Edmond) Thru Sat, Nov 30th Start Time: 5:00pm The Second Annual Luminance is the a walk-thru holiday light display that will be open to the public from November 23 - January 5. This year, there will be…
🍴 Friendsgiving (The Melting Pot - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Nov 30th Start Time: 5:00pm Eat, drink and give thanks for good friends! Start a new Friendsgiving tradition with us! Let the Melting Pot be your host this Friendsgiving as you relax…
🎨 Holiday Lights Spectacular (Midwest City) Thru Sat, Nov 30th Start Time: 6:00pm Experience Midwest City's holiday lights display all holiday season long at Joe B. Barnes Regional Park! This display is open each night from Nov. 22 to Dec.…
♪ Kyle Reid And Noah Engh (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
🎡 Looking For Something? (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Kyle Reid
MONTU Pre-Thanksgiving Throwdown (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm NORMAN! Can't wait to get back home to the Deli for a special Pre-Thanksgiving Throwdown on Wednesday 11/27! We got some special guests in store and Olympus…
Reading Wednesday (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Reading Wednesdays Every Wednesday, 10am The South Lobby FREE Best for ages 2 to 5 Books are nature-themed and selected based on the season. We’ll begin…
🏆 Remington Park Blood Drive (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 12:00pm Remington Park Racetrack & Casino Blood Drive Wednesday, November 27th, 2019
To schedule an appointment, visit ---- https://obi.org/ **WALK-INS…
Santa’s Wonderland returns to Bass Pro Shops featuring FREE photos with Santa (The Shop - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Santa’s Wonderland is the ultimate free family Christmas event. The magic returns to Bass Pro Shops and Oklahoma City-area families are invited to enjoy…
😂 Steve Kramer (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Nov 30th
Third Eye Blind in Concert (The Criterion - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm Head to The Criterion in Oklahoma for a very special evening with Third Eye Blind. This band took the country by storm…

Thursday, Nov 28th

🏃 Christmas in the Park 2019 (Yukon City Park - Yukon) Thru Sat, Nov 30th Start Time: 6:00pm It’s time for Yukon’s breathtaking Christmas in the Park, a magical wonderland of visual entertainment offered starting The Saturday before Thanksgiving,…
Downs Family Christmas Lights (Down's Family Christmas Light Ministry - Norman) Thru Wed, Jan 1st The Downs Family Christmas Lights in Norman is one of the most spectacular light displays at a private residence in…
Edmond Electric's Luminance 2019 (Mitch Park - Edmond) Thru Sat, Nov 30th Start Time: 5:00pm The Second Annual Luminance is the a walk-thru holiday light display that will be open to the public from November 23 - January 5. This year, there will be…
🍴 Friendsgiving (The Melting Pot - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Nov 30th Start Time: 5:00pm Eat, drink and give thanks for good friends! Start a new Friendsgiving tradition with us! Let the Melting Pot be your host this Friendsgiving as you relax…
🎨 Holiday Lights Spectacular (Midwest City) Thru Sat, Nov 30th Start Time: 6:00pm Experience Midwest City's holiday lights display all holiday season long at Joe B. Barnes Regional Park! This display is open each night from Nov. 22 to Dec.…
Limo Holiday Lights Tours (Citywide - Oklahoma City) Thru Mon, Dec 30th Schedule a two-hour tour of the city's most spectacular holiday lights via limo, and enjoy a smooth ride past vibrant…
NRHA Futurity & Adequan Championship Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Dec 7th The National Reining Horse Association (NRHA), with its international headquarters in Oklahoma City, presents one of the…
🏃 OKC Turkey Tracks 5K (Downtown - Oklahoma City) Bring the whole family and celebrate a holiday tradition with a pre-feast run while supporting our US Marine Corps Toys for Tots Foundation drop off location…
Rising Stars Calf Roping (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Thru Sun, Dec 1st Witness the action as 500 of the most talented young ropers from across the country compete in roping events at the…
😂 Steve Kramer (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Nov 30th
🍴 Thanksgiving Buffet (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 11:00am The annual tradition to ‘Gobble ‘til You Wobble’ returns again on Thanksgiving at Bricktown Brewery in the Remington Park Casino. Enjoy the spectacular…
🍴 Thanksgiving with Caleb McGee and the Underdogs (The Deli - Norman) Start Time: 10:00pm After you wake up from your Thanksgiving food coma nap head on over to The Deli for some more dessert. Caleb and the boys will be dishing up the sweet sounds…
🏃 Turkey Day 5K (Norman High School - Norman) Start Time: 8:30am Work up an appetite for a hearty Thanksgiving meal at Norman's annual Turkey Day 5K. Taking off from Main Street,…
🏃 Edmond Turkey Trot (Downtown - Edmond) Lace up your running shoes and visit downtown Edmond on Thanksgiving morning for the Turkey Trot. This 5K run and one mile…

Friday, Nov 29th

2019 Craft Show (Cleveland County Fairgrounds - Norman) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 9:00am
Black Friday Fun Day (Andy Alligator's Fun Park & Water Park - Norman) Start Time: 11:00am Black Friday is for FUN at Andy Alligator’s! Visit on Friday, November 29th and get a Fun Park Wristband for only $19.95! Plus, check back at…
The Black Friday Giveaway (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Remington Park live racing offers winning opportunities for all guests, including visiting families and friends in town for the Thanksgiving Holiday Weekend.…
Black Friday Karaoke Party (Opolis Prod - Norman) Start Time: 9:00pm Go spend money you don't have...then SING! 6pm food and drink 10pm start FREE
🎡 Black Friday w/ Big G (UCO Jazz Lab - Edmond) Start Time: 8:00pm Join us for an evening of Blues and Soul $10 Tickets · Doors at 7pm Purchase Tickets Online or by calling (405) 974-2100 ----- As a dynamic blues performer,…
A Christmas Carol (Lyric at the Plaza - Oklahoma City) Thru Tue, Dec 24th A spectacular new Oklahoma holiday tradition returns with Lyric Theatre's production of the Charles Dickens classic,…
🏃 Christmas in the Park 2019 (Yukon City Park - Yukon) 1 day left Start Time: 6:00pm It’s time for Yukon’s breathtaking Christmas in the Park, a magical wonderland of visual entertainment offered starting The Saturday before Thanksgiving,…
Christmas With The Celts (Grand Casino Hotel & Resort - Shawnee) Get in the holiday spirit at the Grand Casino Resort in Shawnee during this special presentation of Christmas With The…
Christmas With The Crawfords (The Boom - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm
Cleveland County Craft Show (Cleveland County Fairgrounds - Norman) Day 1 of 2 The Cleveland County Craft Show in Norman features home decorating, handmade, seasonal and specialty items presented by over…
Downs Family Christmas Lights (Down's Family Christmas Light Ministry - Norman) Thru Wed, Jan 1st The Downs Family Christmas Lights in Norman is one of the most spectacular light displays at a private residence in…
Edmond Electric's Luminance 2019 (Mitch Park - Edmond) 1 day left Start Time: 5:00pm The Second Annual Luminance is the a walk-thru holiday light display that will be open to the public from November 23 - January 5. This year, there will be…
🍴 Friendsgiving (The Melting Pot - Oklahoma City) 1 day left Start Time: 5:00pm Eat, drink and give thanks for good friends! Start a new Friendsgiving tradition with us! Let the Melting Pot be your host this Friendsgiving as you relax…
Holiday in the Park (Starlight Amphitheater @ Frontier City - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Experience the magic of a million lights sparkling throughout Frontier City Theme Park. At the annual Holiday in the Park…
🎨 Holiday Lights Spectacular (Midwest City) 1 day left Start Time: 6:00pm Experience Midwest City's holiday lights display all holiday season long at Joe B. Barnes Regional Park! This display is open each night from Nov. 22 to Dec.…
Holiday Pop-Up Shops (Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd Venture over to Midtown in Oklahoma City during the winter holidays, and gaze in wonder at the geodesic dome city overtaking…
Hot Seat Blitz (Remington Park - Oklahoma City) Enjoy Thanksgiving, then pull in the cash with the Hot Seat Blitz on Friday and Saturday, Nov. 29 & 30 in the Remington Park Casino. Play in the Casino from…
It's a Wonderful Life (Pollard Theatre - Guthrie) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd Get in the Christmas spirit with the enchanting performance of “It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play”…
Limo Holiday Lights Tours (Citywide - Oklahoma City) Thru Mon, Dec 30th Schedule a two-hour tour of the city's most spectacular holiday lights via limo, and enjoy a smooth ride past vibrant…
🎡 Looking For Something? (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm Mike McClure writes songs. He's written a whole lot of them. So many that he probably doesn't remember how all of them go. His songs are so good that other…
♪ Mike McClure (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
North Pole Adventure (Walnut Square Shopping Center - Oklahoma City) Thru Tue, Dec 24th Experience the thrill of North Pole right in the heart of Oklahoma City. North Pole Adventure is a one-of-a-kind interactive…
NRHA Futurity & Adequan Championship Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Dec 7th The National Reining Horse Association (NRHA), with its international headquarters in Oklahoma City, presents one of the…
Prairie Artisan Ales Showcase (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:00pm Prairie local showcase with Westering, Speak, Memory and King Pink. This show is all ages. $8
🍴 Rainbows Are Free - Head Pains Record Release Party (Blue Note - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00pm
Rising Stars Calf Roping (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Thru Sun, Dec 1st Witness the action as 500 of the most talented young ropers from across the country compete in roping events at the…
😂 The Santaland Diaries (Carpenter Square Theatre - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm Carpenter Square Heads to ‘Santaland’ for the Holidays Carpenter Square Theatre celebrates the holiday season with “The Santaland Diaries” November…
😂 Steve Kramer (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) 1 day left
🎨 Synonyms (Oklahoma City Museum of Art - Oklahoma City) Day 1 of 2 Start Time: 5:30pm “Loosely based on director Nadav Lapid’s (The Kindergarten Teacher, Policeman) own experiences, Synonyms follows young Israeli ex-soldier Yoav (played by…
Thanksgiving Holiday Hours for Devon Ice Rink (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 11:00am Got family coming in for Thanksgiving? Spend bonding time by ice skating together. You’ll laugh so much we promise plus you’ll work off all that great…

Saturday, Nov 30th

5 for 5 Eclectic Solo Set Night (Opolis Prod - Norman) Start Time: 8:00pm 8pm doors 9pm show $5 sets by Chelsey Cope Michael Loveland Dorian Small Adam Sarmiento Open/Honest
2019 Craft Show (Cleveland County Fairgrounds - Norman) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 9:00am
♪ Adam Miller CD Release (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
♪ Adam Miller Live (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 7:30pm Adam Miller’s CD release show held at the historic BLUE DOOR! Tickets can be purchased at -…
🍴 Bedlam! OU / OSU - BarGate Time 7pm (Red Brick Bar - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm BEDLAM!! LETS GO SOONERS!! OU / OSU 7pm It is BAR-GATE TIME, WOOHOO!! Game on 7 TV's Inside and Outside :) Ice Cold Beer, Tasty Drinks, Jello Shots and…
Bedlam Watch Party at Together Square (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 5:30pm Calling all Bedlam fans, join the tailgate at Together Square! Grab your lawn chair or blanket and enjoy the game here in OKC from our TV truck on the…
A Christmas Carol (Lyric at the Plaza - Oklahoma City) Thru Tue, Dec 24th A spectacular new Oklahoma holiday tradition returns with Lyric Theatre's production of the Charles Dickens classic,…
🏃 Christmas in the Park 2019 (Yukon City Park - Yukon) Last Day Start Time: 6:00pm It’s time for Yukon’s breathtaking Christmas in the Park, a magical wonderland of visual entertainment offered starting The Saturday before Thanksgiving,…
Christmas With The Crawfords (The Boom - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm
Cleveland County Craft Show (Cleveland County Fairgrounds - Norman) Day 2 of 2 The Cleveland County Craft Show in Norman features home decorating, handmade, seasonal and specialty items presented by over…
Downs Family Christmas Lights (Down's Family Christmas Light Ministry - Norman) Thru Wed, Jan 1st The Downs Family Christmas Lights in Norman is one of the most spectacular light displays at a private residence in…
🎓 Downtown Edmond Small Business Saturday (Downtown - Edmond) Start Time: 8:00am Join Downtown Edmond for their Annual Small Business Saturday. A time that we celebrate small business owners. We encourage to support these businesses on…
Eagle Watch (Lake Thunderbird State Park - Norman) Eagle-watching adventure awaits you along the shores of Lake Thunderbird in Norman. Meet at the Discovery Cove Nature…
Edmond Electric's Luminance 2019 (Mitch Park - Edmond) Last Day Start Time: 5:00pm The Second Annual Luminance is the a walk-thru holiday light display that will be open to the public from November 23 - January 5. This year, there will be…
🍴 Friendsgiving (The Melting Pot - Oklahoma City) Last Day Start Time: 5:00pm Eat, drink and give thanks for good friends! Start a new Friendsgiving tradition with us! Let the Melting Pot be your host this Friendsgiving as you relax…
Gardens Monthly Walking Tour (Myriad Botanical Gardens - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Guided Walking Tour Last Saturday of Every Month, 10-11am Garden Grounds FREE Expand your knowledge of Oklahoma plants and find inspiration for your own…
Holiday in the Park (Starlight Amphitheater @ Frontier City - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Experience the magic of a million lights sparkling throughout Frontier City Theme Park. At the annual Holiday in the Park…
🎨 Holiday Lights Spectacular (Midwest City) Last Day Start Time: 6:00pm Experience Midwest City's holiday lights display all holiday season long at Joe B. Barnes Regional Park! This display is open each night from Nov. 22 to Dec.…
Holiday Pop-Up Shops (Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd Venture over to Midtown in Oklahoma City during the winter holidays, and gaze in wonder at the geodesic dome city overtaking…
It's a Wonderful Life (Pollard Theatre - Guthrie) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd Get in the Christmas spirit with the enchanting performance of “It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play”…
😂 Josh Fadem (The Paramount OKC - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
Limo Holiday Lights Tours (Citywide - Oklahoma City) Thru Mon, Dec 30th Schedule a two-hour tour of the city's most spectacular holiday lights via limo, and enjoy a smooth ride past vibrant…
🎡 Looking For Something? (The Blue Door - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm Mike McClure writes songs. He's written a whole lot of them. So many that he probably doesn't remember how all of them go. His songs are so good that other…
♪ Miss Brown To You (Oklahoma City University - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
♪ Moetown Alex and The NightView Band in Concert (Riverwind Casino - Norman) Start Time: 9:00pm
Music after Bedlam game (Red Brick Bar - Norman) Start Time: 7:00pm Come out watch the game and enjoy a night of music after the game. 21+ No Cover PTB: Pay The Bills is a mixed genre band from Ada, Ok. They will be playing…
North Pole Adventure (Walnut Square Shopping Center - Oklahoma City) Thru Tue, Dec 24th Experience the thrill of North Pole right in the heart of Oklahoma City. North Pole Adventure is a one-of-a-kind interactive…
NRHA Futurity & Adequan Championship Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Dec 7th The National Reining Horse Association (NRHA), with its international headquarters in Oklahoma City, presents one of the…
Old Chicken Farm Vintage Barn Sale (Jones) Oklahoma’s most talented pickers and painters will gather in Jones to sell their wares at the Old Chicken Farm…
Rising Stars Calf Roping (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) 1 day left Witness the action as 500 of the most talented young ropers from across the country compete in roping events at the…
😂 The Santaland Diaries (Carpenter Square Theatre - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 8:00pm Carpenter Square Heads to ‘Santaland’ for the Holidays Carpenter Square Theatre celebrates the holiday season with “The Santaland Diaries” November…
Santa’s Wonderland returns to Bass Pro Shops featuring FREE photos with Santa (The Shop - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Santa’s Wonderland is the ultimate free family Christmas event. The magic returns to Bass Pro Shops and Oklahoma City-area families are invited to enjoy…
Small Business Saturday (Plaza District - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 10:00am Shop Small Business Saturday is here and don't forget to visit your favorite local shops and restaurants!
😂 The Sorcerer And The Comedian (The Paramount OKC - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 8:00pm
😂 Steve Kramer (Loony Bin Comedy Club - Oklahoma City) Last Day
Strolling Santa (Classen Curve - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 1:00pm Find Santa strolling around Classen Curve and Nichols Hills Plaza each weekend between Thanksgiving and Christmas. More details available on our website.
🎨 Synonyms (Oklahoma City Museum of Art - Oklahoma City) Day 2 of 2 Start Time: 5:30pm “Loosely based on director Nadav Lapid’s (The Kindergarten Teacher, Policeman) own experiences, Synonyms follows young Israeli ex-soldier Yoav (played by…
Territorial Christmas Celebrations (Pollard Theatre - Guthrie) Thru Sat, Dec 14th Guthrie's Territorial Christmas Celebrations are at the heart of Oklahoma's traditional expression of the holidays,…
🎓 U.S. Cellular Workshops: Prepping (Digitally) for the Holidays (U.S. Cellular on Rockwell - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 9:00am For many, there never seems to be enough time on any given day. During the holiday season, though, the lack of time is amplified to where it can feel…
Kingfisher Winter Nights (Kingifhser City Park - Kingfisher) Thru Tue, Dec 24th Millions of lights are setting historic Kingfisher Park ablaze in the city of Kingfisher. Every evening from November 30…
♪ Worst Friends (89th Street Collective - Oklahoma City) Start Time: 6:30pm Come hang with us on 11/30/2019! This show is FREE so roll up!! WITH SPECIAL GUESTS: Violent Victim Letters To A Friend Pastel Dynasty Doors at 6:30pm & Show…

Sunday, Dec 1st

A Christmas Carol (Lyric at the Plaza - Oklahoma City) Thru Tue, Dec 24th A spectacular new Oklahoma holiday tradition returns with Lyric Theatre's production of the Charles Dickens classic,…
Downs Family Christmas Lights (Down's Family Christmas Light Ministry - Norman) Thru Wed, Jan 1st The Downs Family Christmas Lights in Norman is one of the most spectacular light displays at a private residence in…
Gryffin in Concert (Tower Theatre Studio - Oklahoma City) New York City-based DJ and electronic dance producer Gryffin (Dan Griffith) is taking over the Tower Theatre in…
Holiday in the Park (Starlight Amphitheater @ Frontier City - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Experience the magic of a million lights sparkling throughout Frontier City Theme Park. At the annual Holiday in the Park…
Holiday Pop-Up Shops (Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd Venture over to Midtown in Oklahoma City during the winter holidays, and gaze in wonder at the geodesic dome city overtaking…
It's a Wonderful Life (Pollard Theatre - Guthrie) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd Get in the Christmas spirit with the enchanting performance of “It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play”…
Limo Holiday Lights Tours (Citywide - Oklahoma City) Thru Mon, Dec 30th Schedule a two-hour tour of the city's most spectacular holiday lights via limo, and enjoy a smooth ride past vibrant…
North Pole Adventure (Walnut Square Shopping Center - Oklahoma City) Thru Tue, Dec 24th Experience the thrill of North Pole right in the heart of Oklahoma City. North Pole Adventure is a one-of-a-kind interactive…
NRHA Futurity & Adequan Championship Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Dec 7th The National Reining Horse Association (NRHA), with its international headquarters in Oklahoma City, presents one of the…
Rising Stars Calf Roping (Lazy E Arena - Guthrie) Last Day Witness the action as 500 of the most talented young ropers from across the country compete in roping events at the…
Sleigh Bells Market (Farmer's Market - Oklahoma City) Come to the historic OKC Farmers Public Market for a holiday retail extravaganza you won't want to miss. 50…
Territorial Christmas Celebrations (Pollard Theatre - Guthrie) Thru Sat, Dec 14th Guthrie's Territorial Christmas Celebrations are at the heart of Oklahoma's traditional expression of the holidays,…
Kingfisher Winter Nights (Kingifhser City Park - Kingfisher) Thru Tue, Dec 24th Millions of lights are setting historic Kingfisher Park ablaze in the city of Kingfisher. Every evening from November 30…

Monday, Dec 2nd

A Christmas Carol (Lyric at the Plaza - Oklahoma City) Thru Tue, Dec 24th A spectacular new Oklahoma holiday tradition returns with Lyric Theatre's production of the Charles Dickens classic,…
Downs Family Christmas Lights (Down's Family Christmas Light Ministry - Norman) Thru Wed, Jan 1st The Downs Family Christmas Lights in Norman is one of the most spectacular light displays at a private residence in…
Holiday in the Park (Starlight Amphitheater @ Frontier City - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Experience the magic of a million lights sparkling throughout Frontier City Theme Park. At the annual Holiday in the Park…
Holiday Pop-Up Shops (Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd Venture over to Midtown in Oklahoma City during the winter holidays, and gaze in wonder at the geodesic dome city overtaking…
It's a Wonderful Life (Pollard Theatre - Guthrie) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd Get in the Christmas spirit with the enchanting performance of “It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play”…
Limo Holiday Lights Tours (Citywide - Oklahoma City) Thru Mon, Dec 30th Schedule a two-hour tour of the city's most spectacular holiday lights via limo, and enjoy a smooth ride past vibrant…
North Pole Adventure (Walnut Square Shopping Center - Oklahoma City) Thru Tue, Dec 24th Experience the thrill of North Pole right in the heart of Oklahoma City. North Pole Adventure is a one-of-a-kind interactive…
NRHA Futurity & Adequan Championship Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Dec 7th The National Reining Horse Association (NRHA), with its international headquarters in Oklahoma City, presents one of the…
Territorial Christmas Celebrations (Pollard Theatre - Guthrie) Thru Sat, Dec 14th Guthrie's Territorial Christmas Celebrations are at the heart of Oklahoma's traditional expression of the holidays,…
Kingfisher Winter Nights (Kingifhser City Park - Kingfisher) Thru Tue, Dec 24th Millions of lights are setting historic Kingfisher Park ablaze in the city of Kingfisher. Every evening from November 30…

Tuesday, Dec 3rd

A Christmas Carol (Lyric at the Plaza - Oklahoma City) Thru Tue, Dec 24th A spectacular new Oklahoma holiday tradition returns with Lyric Theatre's production of the Charles Dickens classic,…
Downs Family Christmas Lights (Down's Family Christmas Light Ministry - Norman) Thru Wed, Jan 1st The Downs Family Christmas Lights in Norman is one of the most spectacular light displays at a private residence in…
Holiday in the Park (Starlight Amphitheater @ Frontier City - Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Jan 5th Experience the magic of a million lights sparkling throughout Frontier City Theme Park. At the annual Holiday in the Park…
Holiday Pop-Up Shops (Oklahoma City) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd Venture over to Midtown in Oklahoma City during the winter holidays, and gaze in wonder at the geodesic dome city overtaking…
It's a Wonderful Life (Pollard Theatre - Guthrie) Thru Sun, Dec 22nd Get in the Christmas spirit with the enchanting performance of “It’s a Wonderful Life: A Live Radio Play”…
Limo Holiday Lights Tours (Citywide - Oklahoma City) Thru Mon, Dec 30th Schedule a two-hour tour of the city's most spectacular holiday lights via limo, and enjoy a smooth ride past vibrant…
Lomazov/Rackers Piano Duo (Armstrong Auditorium - Edmond) Visit Edmond's Armstrong Auditorium this December for a concert you won't want to miss. Enjoy music by Moazrt,…
North Pole Adventure (Walnut Square Shopping Center - Oklahoma City) Thru Tue, Dec 24th Experience the thrill of North Pole right in the heart of Oklahoma City. North Pole Adventure is a one-of-a-kind interactive…
NRHA Futurity & Adequan Championship Show (Oklahoma State Fair Park - Oklahoma City) Thru Sat, Dec 7th The National Reining Horse Association (NRHA), with its international headquarters in Oklahoma City, presents one of the…
Territorial Christmas Celebrations (Pollard Theatre - Guthrie) Thru Sat, Dec 14th Guthrie's Territorial Christmas Celebrations are at the heart of Oklahoma's traditional expression of the holidays,…
Kingfisher Winter Nights (Kingifhser City Park - Kingfisher) Thru Tue, Dec 24th Millions of lights are setting historic Kingfisher Park ablaze in the city of Kingfisher. Every evening from November 30…

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