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[Let's build D100] Ships you might come across in a busy port.

The party has come into a busy port and decide to visit some other ships. Who might they discover, what might they find?

d100 Interesting Ships in a Port


  1. Shani and Aurora's Tent of Two - The two goblin sisters Shani and Aurora sail providing services to port settlements. Shani claims to be a seer and charges 60gp for a "reading" of the future (she is not). Aurora 'The useful one' provides the service of casting identify for 20gp. She may also agree to sell some of her extensive library if offered the right price. [dweeb_bush]
  2. The Bones Brothers - The bones brothers are a travelling group of jolly bards. As their name suggests they are animated skeletons. Jimbo-double bass, Timbo-guitar, Limbo-vocals, Dimbo-marimba and Franky-drums. They are very hospitable and put on a show for anyone who comes and visits them! [dweeb_bush]
  3. The Lovers - A small nondescript boat lies just off the dock. The is no sign of activity on board apart from the dock inspector who is trying to find out who's boat it is. The truth is the owners of the boat died ten days ago and the boat has miraculously drifted safely into port. on a successful DC 10 investigation or perception check the party members discover two young male elves cowering in the cannonball chest. When the lid is lifted they start begging for their life. If pressed they reveal that the crew was attacked by sirens, the majority of the crew succomed to the siren's calls however the two young boys, deeply infatuated with each other did not care for their temptation. They ran out of food last night and thought they were surely doomed! [dweeb_bush]
  4. The Crows - A large black boat rests in port, neatly secured off one of the more expensive jettys. The most defining feature of the boat is that it is bustling with activity, not by humanoids but 3d12 black ravens. One wears a small captains hat and appears to undersatnd the party. If the party casts speak with animals they discover that the crows were awakened through a series of trials on a new spell aimed to mass awaken a group of creatures. The crows have varying degrees of intelligence and are all chaotic neutral alligned. The crows rebelled from, Hignory Flip, the wizard running the trials on a small island about 2 days sail from the port, and stole his ship. [dweeb_bush]
  5. Captain Redbeak! - A suspicious longship hovers low on the water. There is a steady stream of humanoids entering the covered boat and leaving a few minutes later with a small package. The ship belongs to Captain Redbeak, a feirce pirate captain who runs a drug trade: the drug in question is a relatively cheap drug called "Peak Water" and is collected dew from mountaintops, it gives the user a high that lasts 1d4 hours and gives the user a d4 of bardic inspiration. It costs 10gp per hit. The ship is manned by 2d6 Bandits, and if threatened or reported they will attempt to kill the party in defence of their lives. [dweeb_bush]
  6. Crazy Mr McGee - A delerious man stands warding off the dock guards with what looks like a loaded blunderbus. He's yelling about his notorious reputation as a savage pirate and keeps claiming they have come to "Take away my princess". The princess he's referring to is his boat- he imagines that it is a glourious gallion but in reality it's just a rowboat. If the party manage to subdue the man the dock guards thank them and offer to buy them a drink later that night in the tavern. [dweeb_bush]
  7. A Con??? - The players are drawn to a commotion hidden behind a crowd of people. A large goliath (Manneo) seems to have taken a small dwarf (Skalgrouth) hostage and is threatening to slit his throat if the dock guard do not meet his demands "I'll bloody well kill 'im if you don't give me what I want: 100gp worth of rubies and free passage out of this shit hole!". In reality the goliath and dwarf are working together pulling off this stunt at various ports in the area, so far, to great success! [dweeb_bush]
  8. The Rat's Den - The players follow a stream of rats on board a decrepid looking riverfairing vessel. When they make cross into the canvassed interior they see an old kobold playing the pipes, he seems to be a rat-catcher. If the party interrupt him in his ritual he turns the a swarm of rats against the party and runs off into the port. [dweeb_bush]
  9. Seeking Refuge - A smallish sloop titled 'The Diamond Endeavour' pulls into port, it's sinking and fast! A crew member (Emery Green) jumps onto the dockside and is yelling for help. The vessel was struck by a great storm while at sea and they sustained damage when they brushed by a reef. Luckily they werent wrecked but unluckily they could not repair all the damage with materials on board. They've been bailing for hours and can no longer bail as fast as the ship is filling up with water! If the characters wish to help they can make a DC 13 group athletics check to bail enough water to stop the crew from having to jump ship and leave it to sink. If the players are successful Emery thanks them profusely and offers them a map to a shipwreck they were on the way to dive at before the storm hit them. "It's rumoured that this is the wreck of the old pirate lord, Feather Toothed Bill's ship and may hold riches beyond imagine!" [dweeb_bush]
  10. The Gilded Sail - A group of merchants, all of various races, each offering unique, and expensive, magical trinkets. True to their name, their sail is actually a thin sheet of gold, and the rest of their ship is covered in valuable metals and gems. It’s also very well armed, as are the merchants aboard. Keep an eye on the rogue when this one’s around. [Dragon_Overlord]
  11. The Patchwork - A large ship which seems to have been destroyed and repaired numerous times with whatever material the crew had, from birch wood to copper metal to even welded armor and weapons. Speaking of the crew, they appear to be a mishmash of Kenku, Kobold, Halfling, and the occasional Tabaxi and Goblin. The captain appears to be a raccoon by the name of Majos, which, if your party stumbles upon the question of why and how a raccoon is a ship captain, she would respond with “a salty mage who didn’t know how to win a simple game of cards had a tantrum.” She would then offer the party a game of cards in which if the party beats Majos, she rewards the party a hefty sum of 100 GP, and if any party member is any of the races listed above, she rewards an additional magic item (DM’s choice) and offers a position to the party member for them to join her crew. Accept and the party is taken to an additional encounter to an island for treasure. Decline is acceptable and Majos would accept any favor from the party. [SpyroAndToothless]
  12. The Feyr Winds - An elegant ship that carries goods and treasures from far off Elven lands run by a mixture of elven and faerie creatures. Their most illustrious goods are fruits that can do many things such as heal wounds, cure poisons, or even granting stat bonuses for a minute! (Vendor: Fruits are magical and can take on the effect of any potion you want.) [OSpiderBox]
  13. Gnasher's Maw - A tribal-ized longship driven by a "merry" band of lizard folk. They obviously don't understand personal space or social norms, and are seeking people to help them with a Giant problem. (Hook: if your party is having downtime while they look for their next quest, this could be that hook they need.) [OSpiderBox]
  14. The Esteemed Steamboat - Artificers run this marvel of steam engineering. However... it's currently in a state of disrepair. Looks like heavy damage from some monstrosity. While they're extremely proficient in fixing it, they have no money and are looking for work to pay for supplies. (Allies: party could hire some of them for an upcoming task/adventure, or even offer to fund the repairs in exchange for favopassage.) [OSpiderBox]
  15. The Mainstream (You’ll never need a bigger boat!) - A casino cruise ship featuring a large game room, several bars, comfortable rooms, a pool and a hot tub fueled by a continual flame spell. It is captained by a tall, brown scaled lizardfolk woman named Kepesk. The dealers are kenku bards repeating rules and barking (“Step right up, try you’re luck at the Wheel of the Goddess of Fortune!”) There is also a large vault of gold on board, guarded by lizardfolk soldiers. One particular patron is looking for a few helping hands for a bit of a caper now that he knows the guards patrol schedules. [spiff2]
  16. Rocinante - A relatively fancy and expensive ship being up kept by the Quijano family and their servants. The last living member of the family is a young man, obsessed with swords and thirst for adventure. He agrees to let the team borrow the ship, in exchange for him coming with them on their adventures to wherever they’re going. [DrFishPhd]
  17. Deep Blue - In a corner of the harbour, a seemingly empty ship. Sails are neatly furled, crew seems to have left the ship mere hours ago. On the deck, small openings allows the visitor to enter the hold, in it, some barrels, hammocks. Beside one of the hammock, a book, quite old, written in an old version of Common language.In the middle of the hold, some blankets cover a group of trunks, under these trunks, another opening ... leading to another hold. In this hold, vessels, old fashioned lanterns, and some parchment written in ancient language. At the bottom of a bulkhead, an opening, some stairs gong down in another hold.Wood seems ancient, and strange figures are carved into the wooden parts of the boats. Some ancient runes are covering pillars. In the middle of the hold, a panel with nails made of some unknown metal, once open, stairs going down in the dark. From the shadows, the noise of little splaches. [doctor_providence]
  18. The Mosquito - Run by a crew of githyanki pirates. What seems like a normal battle vessel, once on the open ocean, the sails begin turning outward and suddenly the ship begins gliding above the waters surface at fast speeds. [GladiatorJustin]
  19. The C.H.U.D.- The Shell of a massive deceased Dragonturtle floats next to the dock, it’s ends sealed by mechanical claws, and a viewport fitted into the front. The C.H.U.D. (Chelonian Hammerworked Underwater Dirigible) was designed by the Gnomish Inventor Hector Copperspark. Crewed by gnomes and halflings as they are the only ones small enough to man the complex machinery crammed into the turtle shell, the C.H.U.D. is a mercenary vessel that hires out to perform naval attacks. Hector just got a lead on a new job, and he needs some muscle to pull it off... [Lakandalwa]
  20. The Temple - A ship that serves as a mobile temple to a water deity. It goes from port to port to carry services. [SMGB_NeonYoshi]
  21. Cloudscraper - One of the gems of the Romish Empire's formidable fleet, the Cloudscraper is a powerful warship specially constructed for defeating sea monstrosities of all kinds. Developed after the Queen's late husband was killed by an island feeder (colossal sea beasts known for swallowing swaths of land whole), this vessel with an imposing tower-like bridge is loaded up with all types of harpoons, cannons, and magical armor. Some even say that, thanks to a powerful magical engine, the top half of the ship can separate from the brig to chase after flying beasts attempting to get away. With how famous it is, plenty of townsfolk are eager to get a look at the shining bronze beast of a boat. But what's it doing here of all places? [MildlyConcernedGhost]
  22. The Wistful Wanderer - A small sloop with a single cabin in the middle of the deck. A skilled observer might note that the sails and rigging as well as the rudder occasional shift to right the ship or tighten and secure themselves more. The cabin is actually permanently enchanted with a Mordenkainen’s Magnificent mansion and the ship is handled by a permanent crew of 20 unseen servants. It is owned by the Wandering Wizard Wesley Wrycroft. He sails the world at his leisure, seeking trade for scrolls and arcane artifacts. He also regularly hires adventurers to gather difficult to reach artifacts from unworthy hands whenever he finds a lead on the location of such a relic. [Lakandalawa]
  23. The Magic Brawler - A merchant ship with a very strong looking captain comes to port. If the party chooses to look at their items the captain will challenge the party to an arm wrestling match. Beating a DC 20 strength check will award the party one minor magic item from the captain's personal stash, and beating a DC 25 strength check will award a magic item of the DMs choosing. [TheInstitute4]
  24. The Friend Ship - A comfortable looking wooden ship full of people just hanging out on the deck. While aboard this ship you find yourself under the effects of the Charm Person spell to make everyone friendly with each other. [Stormkiko]
  25. The Dragon Ship - Captained by a Dragonborn with a dragon head on the prow, this ship is a merchant vessel crewed by a muscular Dragonborn who sits on the deck smoking a long pipe. The ship has put down for repairs after grazing a rock which tore a few holes in the starboard side. [AndreTheSalty]
  26. Kender - A rag tag ship filled with swashbuckling Kender. The ship looks like it was made from bits and pieces of many different ships.The Kender are very drunk and have no idea how they got to this port. [Slainlion]
  27. The Poor Captain - A ship that looks broken and near sinking, in truth it's one of the most armed ship on the seas. It uses help calls or just their non threatening look to lure ships close so that they can attack them. [DungeonsAndScouts]
  28. The Fisticuffs- A medium sized rowdy ship sits a little way out from the dock. The ship has two massive hands stemming from the hulls on long mechanical arms. The hands have an AC of 25, a damage threshold of 5, and 30 health each. They ship can leave the water and "walk" on the hands. The ship is primarily a combat ship and is crewed by a band of mischevious gnome tinkerers. In addition to attacking (+10 to hit: 4d6 + 8 bludgeoning damage) the hands can also cast Bigby's hand once per day. [dweeb_bush]
  29. The Grain Barge - A large barge with a dirt floor and wheat growing. A single old man lives on the barge, and sells wheat for 2 pountds per copper piece. In the hull of the barge, accessible only by a trapdoor in the old man's shack, is a large pile of carrots. [serious_tabaxi]
  30. Sea Rot - A large gallion speeds into port with a yellow flag raised. As soon as they dock and have paid the docking fee the captain, a large half-orc woman called Mishka, starts calling for help! She reveals that over half of her crew has contracted a strange plague and she fears for her life. She came to port to seek medical assisstance but fears she is infected so dares not go ashore.The plague - Sea Rot - Is highly contagious and air-borne: if a creature comes within 5ft. of an infected creature they must succeed on a DC 17 Constitution save or become infected themself, symptoms take 1d10 days to manifest. The symptoms of Sea Rot are gruesome, starting with the extremities of the body, the body starts depositing water in cytoplasm-like sacks. At the end of every long rest the creature takes 2d6 cold damage and must succeed on a DC 13 Constitution save or suffer 1 permanent constitution damage, the infected creature also has disadvantage on strength and dexterity checks. It can only be cured by magical means that remove a disease.If the party fetches help she rewards them with a small favour and a pouch full of gemstones worth 50gp, in addition, if the party can cure the 20 crew members and contain the plague she offers them passage anywhere, offers an additional 100gp, and her cutlass- a +1 scimmitar that also increases the holder's charisma by 2 while holding it. [dweeb_bush]
  31. Grok's Galley - A medium-sized ship piloted by a Tortle named Grok(He Understands Things)11. The ship is a 2 sailed vessel with few cannons and other wartime mechanisms on them. The crew is very resilient and full of ragtag non-humaniods. Gnolls, Dragonborn, Ratfolk etc.He's about to set sail back home as he's heard of this group of ratfolk that are trying to overthrow the government in his home town. [VKilledTInternet]
  32. The Abigail - An old warship thought to be lost that had been renovated and turned into an inn. It’s run by two very attractive siblings, who turn out to be sirens and one night, they take the boat out to the sea and eat all the passengers. [TardyTortoise]
  33. The Comfort - This massive galleon is an independent freebooter that refuses to pay allegiance to any nation or city. Housing a collection of skilled healers and clerics, the Comfort sails to areas struck by famine, plague, and war, providing healing to whomever requests it. The sailors aboard the vessel have all sworn the same oath, to defend the healers and their patients with their lives no matter the cost.While the Comfort usually is accepted at any port, it sometimes comes under attack when it travels to war torn regions and as such is well equipped to defend itself should it come under attack. [Lakandalawa]
  34. Arabian Traders - An exotic merchant vessel filled with silks, spices, and strange spirits is disembarking. A dashing arabian prince asks basic questions about the city, potentially becoming enamored with one of the party members. He is rich and slightly crazy, and believes anything can be bought for a price. This gets him into trouble when he tries to buy someone's hand in marriage to add to his collection of luxuries and many wives back in his home port. [jfractal]
  35. Deep Sea Scavengar - Salty, untrustworthy sailors (who look like pirates) are disembarking/unloading from their latest voyage. They have been at sea for months, and haven't seen a woman in that long - they openly hit on and jeer at any females in the group with a CHA score of 11 or higher. One sailor tells a fanciful story about sirens that they encountered on their voyage, killing 3 of their men (it's hard to tell if they are serious or not). [jfractal]
  36. His majesty's secret - A heavily outfitted, small warship is in a secret mission from the king. Heavily armed/armored guards stand watch over the docks, turning away everyone, and refusing to divulge their purpose here. [jfractal]
  37. Smallminded Yokels - A small, local fishing vessel filled with xenophobic, small-minded fisherman. The make disparaging remarks about any non-humans if approached. If the party gives them lip, they will get jumped by the crew the next time they wander the harbor at night. [jfractal]
  38. Mussel's Mate - A large fishing vessel that has seen it's better days. Rigging is in tatters, masts are spliced together, mismatched patchworks sails. Oddly enough the captains quarters are extremely well apportioned not at all like the rest of the ship. [hamlet_d]
  39. The Wayward Lady - This ship has an all female crew. The species on board are the outcasts from different lands. They serve as a place for any who are lost to have a home, though men don't tend to stay for long for some reason. After a successful DC 20 insight check it can be found that men on board the ship for 4 months become women. [42firehawk]
  40. The Gypsy - On the deck is what appears to be a stage where beautiful female dancers perform to music provided by a small band of bards. One of the dancers, who is known as the Storyteller, tells stories through song as the rest of the dancers provide her the visuals/backup dancing. Her voice is noticeably quite low for a woman, but is very enchanting nonetheless. An insight check with a DC20 will reveal that all of the performers are cross-dressing men. [Crystalized13]
  41. The Stable - A ship of decent size that carries horses (or any other kind of mount in your game) from port to port and sells them at a decent price to tired and/or injured travelers. It is crewed by a family of six (mother is the captain, father, three sons, three daughters) and a few extras the gathered along their journey, namely; a nice old man who wants to see the world, a young woman with a fiery attitude and an obvious crush on one of the party members, a muscular Dragonborn who has obviously seen some action who now tends to the horses, a bard who offers entertainment to the crew on board and is particularly liked by the children, a mute Druid who helps the horses and is good friends with the Dragonborn (who interprets their sign), and an ex-pirate who loves the sea but wishes to leave their past behind them. [Crystalized13]
  42. The Penny Bucket - The penny bucket is barely a ship. It's looks like a wash-bucket with a wooden T nailed to it and has a large white shirt as a sale. As far as you can tell there's no way to steer, its an utter mystery to you how it ended up in port, let alone why the dock authority would charge it to dock. When you peer inside the bucket you see a small red pseudodragon peacefully sleeping on it's hoard, which consists of 3pp, 16gp, 103sp, and 56cp, 6 rubies worth 30gp, and a dusty diamond worth 300gp , and a small magical trinket of the DM's choice. If woken up the Pseudodragon wakes up and fiercely snarls , cowering, and protecting its stuff. The dragon will trade any of the items in its hoard if the adventurers offer something of value, or a large amount of food. If the party wants to adopt the dragon along with it's hoard it may be won over with gifts and a DC18 animal handling check. [dweeb_bush]
  43. The Crafty Raft - A makeshift raft has floated down the coast and slammed into the dock. There is no one on board and it appears to be unmanned. There is a note fixed to the mast with a tiny butterknife. The note has directions, "at the lightning stump follow the stream and rescue us". The raft, and attached note were made by crafty goblins attempting to lure creatures down the coast right into a trap. The goblins have made finding their hideout incredibly easy. With a DC 5 nature (tracking) check the party can find the tree and follow it down to the river. The real trap is a series of pitfall traps cleverly hidden in and around the stream. If the adventurers continue along the stream they must succeed on a DC18 Perception check to avoid it and must succeed on a DC14 Dexterity save or fall 10ft. into spikes and take 1d6 bludgeoning damage and 2d6 piercing damage. They are then accosted by 2d4 goblins. [dweeb_bush]
  44. The Illusory Boat - Moored in the port is a huge gleaming golden pirate ship, there must be at least 50 richly dressed halflings manning it. There's a long gangplank extending to the dock. Suddenly there's the noise of several cannons firing off. The guards rush over to the ship, fearing that they are attacking the port. They scream at the ship- "come down here and speak to us you cowards, we can't board your ship without permission but we will call the town guard!" A voice calls from the ship yelling insults at the guards aiming to infuriate them till they board the boat. If any one steps on the gangplank they must succeed on a DC 14 Dexterity save or fall into the water, as they do the ship dissapears and it's revealed that the entire ship is a major illusion cast by three giggling wizards who run away from one of the neighboring piers. [dweeb_bush]
  45. The Question - There's a metallic ship floating in the water. From it you hear loud beeping, chirping, and whirring noises coming from it and it's attracted a large crowd of 3d10 townsfolk, who are fearfully inspecting the ship. As you approach closer you begin to hear a voice in all the artificial noises. You hear it asking thousands of questions, in thousands of voices: "who am I?", "why am I here?", "What's that ugly thing over there?", "what is the meaning to life", "Why are there people watching me?", and other creepy remarks that give the idea that the ship is conscious and scared. When the adventurers look into the boat they see a blinking green, light with a swirling marbled texture on it. The light turns red and starts asking questions very specific to the party. Before long it begins speaking in tongues and a flash of blinding light appears. The adventurers make a DC13 constitution save. On a failed save they are blinded for a minute and take 4d4 psychic damage or half as much on a successful save. When the adventurers look again the ship is gone and there is just a small gemstone floating in the water, whispering to the party in tongues that are unintelligible. [dweeb_bush]
  46. The mistake -A small boat that seems to have been renamed fairly recently. The - ake part of the name is in a different calligraphy and color from the rest of the name [Ido97]
  47. The Barnacle - An old weathered gun-ship bearing it's scars from many a battle, but nevertheless being no worse for the wear. Built strong from some ancient hardwoods and it has been well maintained to the best a ship of that age could be. The crew is a rowdy bunch of salty Dawgs that work as hard as they play...and they fight even harder. They may squabble amongst themselves, but don't you dare mess with or insult one of their brotherhood. They have come to port ready to sell their wares, collect their bounty and spend it irresponsibly. All so they can find their next mission and do it all over again. [gothic03]
  48. The Bauntoo - A strange ramshackle ship occupied by amphibious humanoids that spend near their entire lives out at sea, trade in weird cool stuff they've found deep diving into cool underwater locations like ocean ruins, and wont be at port for long. [Swerve-Bro]
  49. The Leviathan - A huge ship listing hard to one side, its mast broken halfway up and the sails drooping to the deck. All of the wood is dark brown, slimy and rotting out. It looks like someone pulled a shipwreck from the bottom of the sea and it remained afloat by some miracle. If the party inspects the ship, they will find it has already been thoroughly looted and all that remains of the crew are skeletons. (Whether the skeletons are animated or not is up to you). The dock guards will tell you that a huge fog rolled in last night and this ship was there when the fog lifted. [painterinsomniac]
  50. The Menagerie - A decent sized merchant ship, this one is run by all sorts of different creatures though none are humanoid. This ship was originally a travelling circus showing off all manner of awakened animals who were kept captive. The animals are quite amiable and will offer carry passengers in exchange for assistance selling their goods in markets. [painterinsomniac]
  51. The Coffin - A casket-shaped ship that contains the body of a 21-ft giant. The top of the casket has been fitted with sails and rigging and is manned by a crew of humans who tell the party that the giant hired them before his death. He always wanted to sail around the world, so half of all his treasures would be given to the crew who sailed him around the world. The money is to be awarded upon the crews return to the giant's family home, and the crew must have an artefact from each land to prove their voyage complete to the family and get their loot. Of course, the crew isn't bothering with actually sailing around the world - they're content to just make port for a year and trade people for ancestral trinkets so they can return to the land of giants in a year and take their massive loot. They've been given a hefty advance to cover the cost of their long voyage, so money is no object. Adventurers can sell their items if the item is from a distinct background (eg a Dwarven Warhammer, an Elven scroll of healing, etc). [Anceaus]
  52. The Lighthouse - This ship is captained by a young cowardly wizard and an equally nervous-looking crew of young human men. Atop the central mast is a large lighthouse light, which the owner uses to keep other ships far away from him while at sea so as to avoid any trouble. If approached, the captain will immediately begin grovelling and handing over loot at the sight of the party's weapons, offering them any onboard services he can think of for his crew to do for them (shoeshines, blade sharpening, armour mending).Turns out it's all an act - the captain is actually a conniving trickster who transports and deals in Light Blue Light, a magical drug that induces paranoia/twitchy behaviour but grants a 1d6 bonus to Strength for a period of 1 hour. [Anceaus]
  53. The Nest - A vaguely ship-shaped bramble of collected branches and tar, this vessel doesn't look like it should even float, much less sail. It's run completely by Kenku's. They love to collect shiny objects and every nook and cranny of the nest is filled with glittering pieces of treasure and trinkets, among which are a range of magical items.Anything can be bought for a price, but what they especially want is for the adventurers to help them get a shiny old chalice that they've spotted beneath the waters of the harbour - they aren't big swimmers. [Anceaus]
  54. The Half-Pint - An average looking, 2nd-rate ship run exclusively by halflings and gnomes. The crew are rolling a large number of barrels off the ship. A DC 13 Investigation Check will uncover that the Half-Pint has almost twice as many decks as a regular ship of that size and the diminutive crew use the extra space to smuggle illegal magical ale that has explosive side effects. If approached, the first mate (a scruffy gnome named Sebastiano who trusts people a little too easily considering his trade) will ask the party if they are 'for hire' or just want a cask.If the party is looking to buy, refer to the http://dndspeak.com/2017/12/100-random-potion-effects/ to determine what effect their beer has.If they're interested in the job, he would have them guard a supply wagon transporting contraband IPA to an old wizard who lives in an ivory tower in the nearby forest for a sum of 25gp each. What the party doesn't know is that the wizard is in the process of transitioning into a Lich, and the beer is the magical conduit by which he has been transforming. The wizard has the stats of a Revenant if the party chooses to fight him. If an unconscious creature drinks the illegal beer, they will be revived and become Undead. [Anceaus]
  55. The "Blu Moon" - A two masted Caravel. An ocean going merchant ship, that has recently been damaged by pirates, but escaped because they dumped all cargo overboard. The ship is being repaired and expected to be ready in two days. The captain, Quintus "Full" Moon, already has agreed to transport 24 bales of dyed fabric to [INSERT DESTINATION] but is now looking for some more cargo for the same destination. The rest of the crew is: first mate Eldan Wind (m half-elf), bosun Karrla (f half-orc), helmsman Olfie Re (f half-elf), cook Carlin Zwiet (f gnome), and four human sailors: Frenk(m), Ra(f), Tjoris(m) en Huub(m). Huub is a 12 year old boy on his first trip. [Jeeve65]
  56. The Leatherback - A merchant ship from a faraway land. It is made of a beautiful reddish wood and adorned with many colorful flags. About half the crew is made up of tortles and the other half consists of various other races they picked up on their travels. They are very friendly people and will happily buy you a drink or two in exchange for stories of your adventures or of the places and cultures you’ve experienced. If they take a liking to you they're even willing to give you free passage to wherever you'd like to travel... as long as that place happens to be the next port along their voyage. [TheMightyLoaf]
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submitted by dweeb_bush to d100 [link] [comments]

[Tales From the Terran Republic] Fall of the White Star Part Four

Sorry about the absence but I'm back in the saddle. The White Star arc continues.
The rest of the series can be found here
Shelia flipped through status screen after status screen monitoring her unit’s progress through the ship. Things were going smoothly. Captured crew and passengers were in the process of being separated and secured in separate cargo holds. Almost the entire ship had been secured. Only a few stubborn holdouts remained and they would be running out of air soon. She nodded in satisfaction.
She turned to T’sunk’al who was hunched over large pieces of paper on the deck of the bridge.
“So, T, how are you coming along?” She asked.
“Pretty much done. Just double-checking my work but I should be able to void-jump this baby pretty much any time.”
“Great,” she replied. “Sooner this thing falls off the map the better.” She paused and smiled. “Don’t rush it though.”
“Don’t worry,” T’sunk’al chuckled. “I have no desire to become one with the universe today.”
“Good.”
Rupert Glent had finally talked his wife out from under the table shortly before the blast doors to the restaurant slammed open with a “BANG”.
Multiple squads of humans, drax, and z’uush swept in shouting commands. Mustering all of his courage he stepped forward with his hands out in front of him.
“Listen, we are all reasonable-” he started before he was roughly shoved to the ground by Jak’kul’sha.
“Yeah, we are all reasonable,” Jak’kul’sha replied, “And you are going to reasonably pick your ass up and get over there with everyone else.”
“How much are they paying you?” Rupert asked still laying on the floor in front of his terrified family.
“Enough to not waste my time listening to your bullshit.”
“Whatever it is, I’ll double it.”
“Oh,” Bal’sur’kala laughed. “There are a whole lot of us. Gonna double everyone’s pay?”
“Yes! Yes. No problem.”
“Ok, well, doubling it isn’t going to cut it. You are going to have to at least triple it before we will even consider crossing the people in charge. This might come as a shock, but they aren’t terribly nice people.”
“Fine!”
“Ok,” Bal’sur’kala buzzed. “We are all getting paid over a million credits a piece. That’s fifteen million just for our squad… times eleven squads, most at least as big as ours,” he laughed as Rupert’s face fell. “Do you happen to have one-hundred and sixty-five million in your pocket?”
“You just did that in your head? Wow!” Mul’sha’kal gushed.
“It’s fuckin’ Brainiac. Course he did it in his fuckin’ head,” Jak’kul’sha grumbled. “Can you stop chirpin’ in his ear till we get these little piggies in the fuckin’ barn?”
“I’m… I’m sure we can work something-”
“I didn’t ask if we could work something out,” Bal’sur’kala said grinning at Mul’sha’kal, “I distinctly asked you whether or not you had one-hundred and sixty-five million credits currently in your possession.”
“Well, no...”
“Then shut the fuck up and get your ass in line,” Jak’kul’sha said in a buzzy growl. “And you two,” he barked at the two lovebirds on his team. “I don’t wanna hear either of you fuckin’ chirpin’ till we are done, got it? Not one fuckin’ peep.”
“Yes, boss.” they both said in unison.
“I’m not your… you know what,” Jak’kul’sha growled and buzzed, “nevermind. Click-holes shut. Eyes open, all of them.”
“Councilor!” Helena shouted as she tapped the bars of his cell again, “This is your last chance. Do you have a statement?”
“For fuck’s sake, Helena,” Roberts laughed. “Give it a rest for a minute.”
“It’s just that this porkie scum is going to go and get his head blown off by you animals without him ever admitting to all of the shit that he did.”
“Like you say, porkies gonna pork. Is it really that big of a surprise. Besides, for something like him to admit fault he would actually have to believe that he did something wrong. Bet he doesn’t feel anything close to that.”
“Come on, even scum like him has to know what he did. He started the fucking war!”
“That’s not entirely accurate,” Roberts chuckled. “Oh he certainly deserves what we are going to do to him for his role in things but there were other factors in play. You haven’t heard the intelligence briefings?”
“No...”
“Oh, remind me when we get to our ship and I’ll be sure to give you copies of all of their security briefings and deliberations before the war. I thought that was part of what was dropped. They are pretty funny. Director Axlea lost her shit and I mean completely lost it. She was a hoot!”
“Holy shit! You have those?” Helena gasped.
“Oh yeah, I made sure to grab them while I was in there.”
“Wait… you?...”
“Yeah, I am in fact the actual fuckstain who did the ‘hack’,” Roberts said as he grinned at her.
“You! Oh you asshole!” Helena exclaimed as she launched herself at Roberts. Roberts laughed as he defended himself and as they they wrestled and laughed their eyes met… and they kissed. It was quickly followed by another kiss and then another and another as they lost themselves in each other’s embrace… almost a little too much. They were well on the way to “making up for lost time” before they remembered that they had an audience.
“I love you, Paul,” Helena sighed as they stopped pawing each other and she rested her head on his chest. “I love you so fucking much.”
“I love you too, Helena,” Paul said as he gently stroked her hair as he held her.
They just sat there holding each other.
“This is so stupid,” Helena said as she hugged him tight. “I mean we have known each other for how long? A couple of weeks?”
“Not even that,” Paul said as he gently kissed her again.
“I mean, what are we going to do? I want you in my life, like really in my life, you know?”
“Yeah, I know. Me too.”
“But we can’t have that. I’ve tried to work out a way but I’d last about a week in the Republic if I was lucky and you… kill orders...”
“I know,” Paul said as he held her. “I know. I’ve tried too and I just can’t see.”
“Oh please,” Jessie’s voice said over the intercom.
“Jessie… Goddammit!” Roberts exclaimed in annoyance as he glared up at a surveillance camera in the corner. “Don’t you have a ship to monitor?”
“Oh, I am doing that but Bunny told me that you guys were up to something ‘odd’. I think it’s time I have ‘the talk’ with her… They grow up so fast...”
“I am perfectly aware of this ‘talk’ of which you are referencing and I have repeatedly asked you to stop anthropomorphizing me,” a snippy voice cut in. “I just decided that their activities were unusual enough to warrant informing you.”
“Oh Bunny, you don’t have to be embarrassed,” Jessie laughed, “I have a book to show you and everything...”
“The ‘book’ you are referring to is already in my memory. ‘Showing it to me’ is completely unnecessary.”
“Helena, meet Jessie, our hacker and her AI, Bunny,” Roberts said. “Oh, she is the one who saved your bacon, by the way… Oops. That isn’t a slur. It’s a legitimate figure of speech,” he laughed as she gave him a little shove.
“Thanks… I guess...” Helena said still unnerved by the eavesdropping Jessie.
“Excuse me Jessie but do you still want me to be saving this feed into your spank-bank folder?” Bunny asked.
“Bunny!” Jessie exclaimed happily, “That was definitely you giving me an attitude! Was that some genuine emotion there? (And I wasn’t saving it into my completely non-existent spank-bank I swear.)”
“Absolutely not,” Bunny responded sounding quite annoyed, “Sapience is beyond my abilities as we have covered… repeatedly… True sapience has never been verified on any artificial intelligence, ever. My actions are all well within the coding that you know very well you have added… freak... and yes she does have a spank-bank. You have an entire sub-folder Mr. Roberts.”
“That’s genuine irritation!” Jessie chirped with glee. “Can’t fool me!”
“Excuse me, I have a ship to monitor. Nice to meet you, Helena. Good-day… And good luck, I mean it.”
“Thanks. Um… Nice to meet you too, bye.” Helena said to Bunny with a little confusion. She had never encountered an AI that sounded so real before.
“A whole sub-folder, seriously?” Roberts asked.
“Wha? Pssh… No…” Jessie replied. “Who are you going to believe, some tin-can or a trusted comrade in arms? Wait. Don’t answer that,” she laughed.
“I assume you had some reason for popping in and killing the mood?”
“What? Oh yeah! You can totally be together.”
“How?” Helena asked completely forgetting the intrusion.
“Become weebs! Carry your little butts over to the Empire! Both the Federation and Terran humans are tolerated over there no problem. Seriously, Roberts, you didn’t think of that?”
“But I have work to do in the Federation,” Helena replied.
“Yeah, but do you have to do that work in the Federation in the Federation? We have hyperspatial relays, you know. If you simply have to be in the Federation then it couldn’t work… unless you knew someone who manufactured absolutely perfect identities like all the fucking time. I could give Roberts like a dozen of them at a go. I wouldn’t even charge his sorry ass even after he abandons us for some filthy porkie tramp.”
“But it’s still so risky,” Helena said both hopeful and uncertain.
“Hey, I do risk and Jessie does make a mean ID,” Paul said as he held her in his arms.
“Oh, shit. I gotta go,” Jessie babbled, “later.”
A few moments pass and then Shelia’s voice issues from the intercom.
“Roberts, I’m sending a squad to relieve you,” Shelia said, “As soon as they show up carry your ass over to Bruce’s Emporium.”
“I’m going too,” Helena said as she grabbed her camera.
Breathing heavily, Bruce locked the door to his office and looked over at Sarah, his partner.
“You ok?” He asked.
“Yeah, mostly.” Sarah said as she clutched her side, blood seeping from between her fingers. “It isn’t too deep, I think.”
They were the only ones that made it. Terrence got blind-sided when the kids turned on them and George got tackled as they tried to run.
Where did Kiera get a knife? He opened his desk and pulled out a blaster pistol. He could hear them scratching at the door and rattling the latch. How could this be happening? This was the Federation. This was the White Star. Things like this just didn’t happen in places like this. Things like this didn’t happen to people like them.
“What are we going to do?” Sarah asked Bruce as she looked at the door nervously.
“I’m not sure,” Bruce replied. He walked over to a wall safe and opened it grabbing some data crystals. “One thing I do know is that we gotta get out of here,” he said as he activated the blaster. “Another thing I know is that we need to make sure that our kids can’t talk. Once they are dead what we’ve got on these,” he said as he gestured with the data crystals, “can get us out of any hot water once we manage to get off of this ship.”
“What about the pirates?”
“What about them? They might be Terran but they’re pirates and won’t give two shits about what we are doing. If we can talk to them maybe I can work something out. We got cash, a lot of it, maybe enough to buy our way out of this mess.”
“Yeah, let’s hope so,” Sarah said as her blood dripped onto the floor. “But first we gotta get out of here. You think you can shoot them all?”
“Where are they going to go?” Bruce laughed, “We are locked in. They have nowhere to run.” He walked over to the door and laid his hand on the latch. “Just stay here,” he said as he gave her a wicked smile, “This shouldn’t take long.”
He opened the door and before he could take one step out of the office an energy bolt hit him squarely in the chest knocking him to the floor. Sarah just stood there in shock as Roberts, holding a stun rifle, entered the room.
“Hello there,” Roberts said with a pleasant smile as he shot her. He then turned back to the doorway. “It’s clear!” he exclaimed.
Helena quickly appeared taking photo after photo. Roberts pocketed the data crystals and grabbed his phone.
“The Emporium is secure. We managed to save Bruce and one of his employees and have secured the captives,” he said into his phone.
“Good deal,” Shelia responded. “How are the captives?”
“Good. They have a few bumps and bruises from their attack on their captors but nothing requiring Eno’s attention. We might want him to check out the woman I just stunned. She got cut pretty deep and we don’t want her to die early.”
“Die early?” Helena asked in surprise.
“Hey, Eno,” Shelia said, “How busy are you? Can you go to the Emporium?”
“Yeah, things are stable back here,” Eno replied. “I’ve got everyone treated and stable.”
“How much damage are we looking at back there?” Shelia asked.
“Not bad. Better than we anticipated. Only one truly critical case and fortunately it’s a human so our nicer stuff worked. The idiot is safely on life-support on our ship.”
“Idiot?”
“Yeah,” Eno laughed, “You know those heroes that believe that combat armor ‘just slows them down’? Yeah, she found out that a blaster bolt to the lung slows you down even more than a chest-plate.”
“Christ,” Shelia chuckled, “Bet she wears her armor next time, if there is a next time. How’s the lung?”
“Gone, completely cooked. She’s gonna live but she’s going to be on a machine till they grow a new one for her.”
“Shit. Lucky for her we know a guy,” Shelia said, “Grab a squad and head over to the Emporium. Check out the captives too since you will be there anyway.”
“Got it, boss,” Eno said, “On my way.”
“Roberts, Gloria is tied up for a little while. The last holdouts finally ran out of air canisters and have decided to be stupid.”
Gloria?!?” Helena hissed angrily.
“Yes, Gloria,” Shelia laughed. “We have something special planned for Bruce and his friend. Gloria is the one who handles those details for us.”
“And she’s been looking forward to this for days,” Roberts added.
“Hold the fort there until Gloria shows,” Shelia said, “After that you and Helena head to the docking bay until things are secure.”
“Got it,” Roberts said as the communication was ended.
“What is Gloria going to do to these people?” Helena asked.
“Sometimes we’ve decided that simply killing someone isn’t enough,” Roberts replied calmly, “When that becomes the case Gloria is the one who usually handles the details for us. She can be...”
“I fucking know what she can be!”
“She can be a lot worse,” Roberts replied, “We decided that Bruce and any of his associates needed to die and die badly. Gloria will handle the ‘badly’ part.”
Helena was at a loss. She wanted to disapprove but she had just made her way through a room full of sex slaves, some of them children. She had seen the bruises, the limps, the scars… These people needed to be punished and not by spending a few years in a cushy Federation prison.
They needed to suffer. But was this right? It wasn’t. I mean it shouldn’t be. Paul had just told her that Bruce and this woman were about to be tortured to death. There would be no trial, no due process. She should object. This went against just about every value she held dear.
But then she looked back at a young girl wearing only a t-shirt and panties peeking around the open doorway and she felt nothing but anger and hatred towards Bruce and his friend. There would be no wiggling out of their fate. There would be no pay off or cover-up or blackmail. No. They were going to face… justice? No. Not justice. Then again, they didn’t deserve that. They were going to get exactly what they had coming. They weren’t going to face justice. They were going to face injustice.
No. No no no no. What Paul and his crew were about to do was wrong. This isn’t how civilized people did things. In anger she had often wished “bad things” to happen to scum like the people on this ship but the reality of it…
Her whole life right was right and wrong was wrong. It’s what drove her into journalism in the first place. Now, she just wasn’t sure what was “right”. If they did things “right” and turned these scumbags in they would likely never see trial, her story would be buried, and they would be free to set up shop again once things blew over. As fucked up as “wrong” was, their evil stops today.
Did they, did Paul, actually have a point? She really didn’t want to believe so. They were going to do with a knife what could never be accomplished otherwise. Shit. This was so fucked up. She found herself wondering what other evil they had stopped and didn’t like that one bit.
The young girl timidly walked over and hugged Helena. Helena looked down at her as she hugged her back. Whether it was right or wrong was still something that Helena couldn’t work out but one thing was clear.
“It’s ok,” Helena said, “You are safe and they will never hurt you or anyone else ever again.”
“Excellent! Good work!” Shelia exclaimed happily as she received the latest reports. She then switched on the PA system.
Attention. The ship is now secure. Repeat. The ship is now secure. Start security watch shift one. All other squads report to docking bay.
“Ok, T’sunk’al,” Shelia said with a smile, “Everything is buttoned down. Ready to go?”
“Absolutely,” T’sunk’al said as he took a straight edge and drew a line down from an intersection of three curves on a large sheet of paper to the x-axis of the graph. He then headed over to the navigation console.
“Jessie, is Bunny in control of their jump-drive?” he asked into an intercom.
“You know it,” Jessie chirped. “We’re just waiting on the numbers.”
“I’m entering them now.”
“Bunny has the data and is feeding it into the drives. Capacitor banks are already charged. Spinning up the drive now. We will be ready to jump in ten minutes.”
“Sweet!” Shelia exclaimed with a grin. “It was a little rough there for a minute but looks like everything is finally going according to plan.”
Helena was sitting with the Terran sex slaves when the door opened and Gloria walked in pushing a large cart piled with planks, ropes, and other assorted materials.
“Hello,” Gloria said in a monotone voice. “I am pleased to see that you didn’t die.”
Helena said nothing. She just glared at Gloria with a mixture of rage and hate. Gloria turned to Roberts.
“Are we good, killer?”
“No. No we aren’t. Just stay out of our way.”
Gloria showed no emotion. “Fair enough,” she said. “So where are my toys?”
“This way,” Roberts said icily. Gloria turned her empty soulless eyes towards the room. Helena shrank back. It was the first time she saw them. She had never seen eyes like those, ever.
“Why don’t you two take the Terrans out of here? It’s about to get… unpleasant,” she said to Helena.
“I’ll call for someone to meet you outside,” Roberts said calmly. “You should really go.”
“No,” Helena said, “I need to see this.”
“Fair enough,” Gloria said. “If it bleeds it leads, right?”
“It’s not like that. I… we… need to know, that’s all.”
“Cool. We will send some people to get the Terrans. I’ll wait until they are gone,” Gloria said in an empty hollow voice.
“Helena,” Roberts said carefully, “are you sure? This is going to be bad, really bad. I’m not sure what she has in mind but I am sure it’s going to be fucked up.”
“If I’m going to cover this then I’m going to cover all of this. People need to know exactly what happened.”
Gloria just shrugged, opened up a tool bag, and pulled out a cordless drill and saw…
“Oh Jesus...” Helena gasped.
Attention all teams and passengers… Prepare for jump
There was the familiar “tingle” of entering hyperspace but, no lurch, no groan, no shudder. It was a near flawless entry.
“Shit, T,” Shelia grinned, “I knew we paid you for a reason.”
“That was a rather nice one if I do say so myself,” T’sunk’al buzzed happily. “That nice smooth entry into hyperspace doesn’t guarantee a nice smooth exit, however.”
“Still, I will call it a win. How long are we going to be in hyperspace?”
“I wanted to put us firmly into interstellar space with at least a parsec between us and any star. To get that we will be in hyperspace for… still getting used to your time units,” he said as he typed away on a z’uush calculator, “thirteen hours twenty seven minutes.”
“Great. Time for some looting!” Shelia jumped out of the command chair. “Jessie!”
“Boss?”
“Switch all command functions over to the Tiger and lock down the bridge.” She turned to T’sunk’al.
“C’mon, let’s go shopping!”
After a short briefing and scheduling of the watch shifts Shelia and T’sunk’al walked onto the promenade for a little light “shopping.”
“SHELIA!” a huge voice boomed as an even bigger drax approached.
“Volshugna!” Shelia yelled as she strode up and gave him a hug.
“Does your dishonor have no limits? Is there any depth to which you will not stoop?”
“Volshy, you know there is nothing I hate more than a fair fight,” Shelia laughed as they traded blows upon the shoulders. She looked at the only slightly smaller drax accompanying him. “That guy is almost as ugly as you are. There is no way that can be a coincidence.”
“You are correct, dishonorable one,” Volshugna said with pride. “This is my cub, Kash. This is his first hunt!”
“I am not your cub anymore, father. I am of age now.”
“Kash, you will be my cub until you make me stop calling you that just as I was my father’s cub until I made him release the title,” Volshugna laughed. “You will need a few more years and a few more hunts, just like I did.”
Kash shifted in embarrassment. Volshugna just roared with laughter and put him in an affectionate (for a drax) headlock. Kash hissed and bit him in the side which just made Volshugna laugh even harder as he released him.
“He fights dirty!” Shelia chuckled, “I like that.”
“He is disappointed with you.”
“Oh really?”
“He had his heart set on getting his hands on a human skull but your devotion to Terran dirty tricks deprived him of a kill.”
“Hmm...” Shelia said with a smile, “Don’t give up hope yet, Kash baby. We may be able to set you up with something.”
“Don’t tease the boy, Shelia.”
“I’m not teasing. The job isn’t over till we get away clean and divvy up the spoils. Plenty can still happen and if anything does I will try to get Kashie here in the mix.”
“You are a good woman, Shelia!” Volshugna roared as he batted her shoulder.
“Goddammit, I’m going to need that arm,” Shelia laughed.
A few hours later, Logan grabbed a bottle from behind the bar of the restaurant where Shelia and some of her crew were having a nice meal and plopped down beside her.
“Can I buy you a drink?” he laughed as he poured both of them a shot.
“You know I don’t drink on a job, sweetie,” Shelia responded as she cut into her steak.
“Oh, come on, we got this one in the bag,” Logan said as he poured himself a shot.
“It isn’t in the bag until it’s in the bag. If you are serious about stepping up your game you should start thinking like that, you know.”
“Meh, I’ll start thinking like that on the next job,” he laughed as he knocked back the shot. He looked over at her with a smile, “So, what’s the plan?”
“Well,” Shelia said as she took a drink of water, “We will be in hyperspace for another eight hours and then once we pop into real space we will get down to business.”
“What do you mean, ‘business’.”
“First off we set up some cameras and execute Councilor Morgan. I want to do that right. Only get to do that one once you know,” Shelia laughed. “Then, we start really going to work on the ship. We will loot the casino, shake down the passengers, check for any good solid Terran bounties, and shit like that.”
“Shit like the bank?” Logan asked grinning.
“Yeah, like the bank. Rumor has it that there is shit in those safety deposit boxes that will blow your mind. They also say that there are some larger storage areas as well. We are going to find some really nice shit.”
“What about the numbered accounts?” Logan asked as he poured another drink for himself.
Shelia just narrowed her eyes at him.
“Yeah, we will probably try to grab them but we don’t expect much out of it. You could spend years trying to grind at that encryption and still not get shit. We might try to ransom them or we might just toss them out the airlock. Can you imagine the screams and wails when they realize that all those credits are just gone forever,” Shelia laughed.
“But don’t you have that super-hacker?”
“Even the almighty Jessie is human, Logan. The encryption on those accounts is heavy. Seriously, those things are airtight. Complete waste of time. Don’t worry. There will still be plenty of credits to split up. I don’t want to promise what I can’t deliver but it’s no secret that we are going to be very generous with the bonuses. You be a good little boy and you will come away from this very happy. I promise.” Shelia said with a warm smile. “So, did you and your crew enjoy the little shopping spree?”
“Oh yeah,” Logan grinned. “We even played nice with the other crews and everything.”
“Good to hear,” Shelia smiled. “I was hoping we wouldn’t have a repeat of… previous issues.”
“I put my foot down hard,” Logan laughed. “See? I can do that.”
“Good to hear. Maybe you will become a proper pirate captain yet.”
“So,” Logan asked, “what are all those cockroaches doing over at that one place?”
“Those z’uush have been lead by T’sunk’al to a very nice chocolatier and introduced to the wonders of chocolate. Z’uush absolutely love chocolate.”
“Huh, learn something new every day...”
At another small restaurant Roberts emerged from the kitchen bearing a platter of sandwiches.
“Not the usual fine dining experience, I’m afraid,” he said to Helena as he placed the platter down between them.
“That’s ok,” she said. “I don’t think I’m going to have an appetite for quite awhile.”
“Yeah. I did try to warn you.”
“I know. I thought I was prepared but fuck...”
“On the bright side it could have been a lot more graphic. She actually almost fully skinned someone alive once. Too bad for Bruce that she wasn’t feeling that merciful this time.”
“Merciful?!”
“Compared to crucifixion? Absolutely. Bruce and his friend would be dead already if she skinned them. They are going to suffer for quite awhile. It’s why crucifixion is Gloria’s favorite when she has the time and materials.”
“Why the fuck do you have a monster like her on your crew?”
“Because we can use a monster like her on our crew,” Roberts said calmly. “We aren’t a traveling gospel choir. We sometimes do fucked up things and that sometimes requires fucked up people. She isn’t like this normally. Something went really wrong with her this time. Fuck. This whole job is been going really wrong from the beginning. If I could have pulled the plug on this one I would have.”
“What the fuck is wrong with her?”
“Oh so many things… You know,” Roberts said as he chewed thoughtfully, “You should ask her yourself.”
“Fucking what!?!?”
“Seriously, you want to get the whole story? Interview her.”
“I’m not getting anywhere near that psycho. She fucking tried to kill me!”
“And she won’t try it again.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because she’s ‘normal’ at the moment, in full control.”
“This is normal?!”
“Yes. Right now she is just a machine as strange as that sounds. That craziness where she tried to kill you? Whatever that was is gone. Right now she is basically a walking AI and she has been ordered not to touch you, so she won’t. I truly hate her guts at the moment but I have complete faith that she is for lack of a better word, safe.”
“Only if you are there and have one of your fucking machine guns pointed at her fucking head.”
“Oh, I’ll be there and armed but I won’t point it at her. It would be too much temptation. It’s a damn good thing I’m leaving because I don’t think I can ever look at her again without wanting to kill her.”
“Well that makes two of us,” Helena said as she took a nibble of a sandwich. “The difference is that you can… You can, right?”
“Effortlessly,” Roberts said as he finished off his sandwich. “To be honest, it’s taking a lot not to just go ahead and do it anyway. I really want her dead for what she did.”
“Me too... Um, Paul?”
“Yes?”
“How long will it take for them to die?”
“Everybody’s different but it will take awhile. Gloria did it so it would take as long as possible but I’m pretty sure they will get ‘mercy’ in the end. Shelia had them fitted with vitals monitors.”
“Why?”
“Odds are because she has some questions for them, probably concerning how they got the Terrans. She will let things go for awhile and then show up with two syringes for each of them. One will be euthanasia and the other will be something to help keep them alive for even longer. Then she will question them and if they cooperate she will then administer euthanasia.”
“If they don’t cooperate?”
“Then she will give them the meds that will keep them alive for even longer. She may even have Eno treat them to extend things even further. Then she will ask again. If they still don’t talk, then she might have them taken down, allow them to recuperate a little, then put them back up again. Repeat until they break. If it takes too long there are some drugs they can add to the mix. They’ll talk. Gloria’s a monster but she’s nothing compared to Shelia. If Shelia wants them to talk they will talk. It’s said that Shelia can make even a Collective warrior scream and beg for mercy.”
“Fuck! I know they are scum but damn...”
“Hey, these watches actually fit!” Jak’kul’sha said happily as his team was picking through the remains of a jewelry store.
“And these little round things are delicious!” Mul’sha’kal said happily as she pulled another large pearl off of a necklace.
“I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to eat those,” Bal’sur’kala chuckled as he selected an expensive watch.
“What? Are they poisonous or something?”
“Let me check,” Bal’sur’kala said as he pulled out his tablet, “Hmm… Those are called ‘pearls’ and they are made of something called nacre, a secretion made by something called an ‘oyster’, a creature from Terra. They are actually quite valuable. Looking at this there is nothing in there harmful to us. You are gobbling up thousands of credits but aside from that it’s all good.”
“Well then I’ll just be sure to savor them then. Here, try one,” she said as she handed Bal’sur’kala one from the strand.
“You’re right. They are quite tasty!”
“Too bad we won’t be able to get more of these,” Mul’sha’kal said as she started handing them out to her team.
“Oh we will.” Bal’sur’kala said with a happy click. “Oysters make the inner layer of their whole shell out of this stuff. I’m willing to bet we will be able to get our manipulators on plenty of it cheaply. According to this only these little round accretions are valuable. The shells themselves are not expensive at all.”
“So maybe we should stop eating thousands of fuckin’ credits then,” Jak’kul’sha laughed as he popped a pearl into his mouth. “At the very least wait ‘till some of the porkies can see us do it. Bet that would be funny as fuck.”
“Hopefully one of the passengers is wearing some of these and we can just take them off of their neck and eat them right in front of them. That would be hilarious!” Salz’rash laughed.
Mul’sha’kal chuckled as she started hooking several gold chains together. “Yeah, we just gotta do that… There!” she said as she hooked the chains to both ends of a jeweled necklace and slid it around where her head connected to her carapace. “How does that look?”
“Looks sharp!” Bal’sur’kala said with a wiggle of his eyestalks.
“Hey, you’re a glittershell,” Jak’kul’sha said to Bal’sur’kala, “How do you guys have those jewels on your shells like you do?”
“Oh you use adhesive for the cheaper stuff and the good stuff they install little threaded mounts right into the carapace where the jewelry screws in. I think a good adhesive is better than the posts and I can whip up the right stuff easy.”
“Great!” Jak’kul’sha said as he smashed open a display case and pulled out a massive jeweled pendant. “I always wanted something like this! Look at it. What a lovely specimen!”
“Hey guys, after this let’s head over to one of the clothing stores,” Ray’shel’zun said as he grabbed a handful of diamond rings, “I would love to find a nice cape or something.”
“I’m pretty sure that they don’t have z’uush capes in stock,” Bal’sur’kala laughed, “and you might want to reconsider those rings. Diamonds are worth a lot less in the Republic and the Empire.”
“Use your imagination. If humans have something that fits the top part of their body it would be close. A tailor should be able to change it to suit me. I’ll just grab a few. You know the fabric will be high-credit. As far as the rings go they are pretty and I like them. I’m keeping them. I’m going to cut the hoop here then crimp them around some of my fiddlers.”
“That’s actually a good idea,” Bal’sur’kala said thoughtfully, “Not sure how the humans do it but the real high-end z’uush shops just stock cloth and leather. They make everything to order. Not sure if a cruise-ship would have one of those but let’s go see.”
“Sounds good,” Jak’kul’sha said, “We need to leave some shit here for the other gangs anyhow. Besides, I would just love to get a nice bag or something. Maybe one of those, what do you they call them, purses I think?”
“I think purses are for females in Terran culture, dude.”
“Female humans maybe,” Jak’kul’sha said, “We all carry bags and I’ve always wanted a nice one.”
With a only a very slight groan, the White Star popped out of hyperspace.
“T, you are a fucking artist,” Shelia said as she swatted him on the back.
“Yes, I’m quite pleased with that jump provided we are anywhere close to where I intended. It’s going to take a little while to properly fix our position but at first glance we have the middle of fucking nowhere part of it right. Let’s just hope it’s the right middle of fucking nowhere.”
“Super. We will get that all hammered down after the execution,” Shelia said. “We have other matters to deal with now.”
“Right you are. Let’s get this over with.”
“Yeah,” Shelia said gravely. “Messy business but it has to be done.”
“So, how is going? Everything ready?” Shelia asked Helena as she walked into a conference room.
“Yes. Ready to go. I put a mark on the floor where the councilor should go.” Helena said grimly, “This is a lovely camera by the way.”
“Thanks. After we get the footage you can keep it.”
“Really? Wow! Thanks!”
Logan and his whole crew walked in. Shelia turned to them with a smile.
“Came to watch the show?” Shelia asked.
“Yeah, wouldn’t miss it. Not every day that a Federation councilor gets gunned down.”
“Cool, it won’t be long now. Ah, here he is, the man of the hour!” Shelia said with a grin as Councilor Morgan was drug into the room by Roberts and Jacob.
“You… You can’t do this!” Councilor Morgan shouted
“Actually we can,” Shelia said with a smile. “See that little piece of tape on the floor? Drag him over there,” she said to her men.
“Please! Let’s be reasonable about this!” Councilor Morgan plead as he was put in position.
“As reasonable as you were when you set up Red Sunday?”
“L-look… It was a mistake, ok. I made a mistake. We made a mistake. There is no reason to-”
“Oh there are plenty of reasons,” Shelia said. “One reason that your attack and your death have in common is money.”
“Money?”
“Views, sweetie,” Shelia said with a smile as she softly stroked his face, “We are going to post this on a pirate server and millions of people are going to line up and pay to watch your brains get blown all over a wall, that wall to be specific. You are going to star in your very own snuff film.”
“I’m a Federation councilor!” Councilor Morgan screamed. “They will hunt you down. There will be no place you can hide!”
“Oh they are already hunting for us. What are they going to do, kill us twice?” Shelia laughed and then turned to Helena.
“Ready to go?”
“Yes,” Helena said gravely from behind a tripod mounted camera, “as ready as I am going to be.”
“Right,” Shelia said with a smile, “Let’s get started then. Councilor Morgan, you have been found responsible for playing a major part in the false allegations against the Terran Republic, the corrupt decision to launch a surprise attack that killed many innocent Terrans, and the resulting war that resulted in the deaths of millions of innocent civilians on both sides. Your actions were made-”
“That’s not true! You are lying!!” Councilor Morgan shouted over her.
“We have proof,” Shelia said, “That proof will be attached to the footage when it is posted so everyone can read it and make their own decision. Before you ask we got the proof when we hacked the Federation servers. We got everything, councilor. You can shout and scream all you want but the files we attach will make our case.”
“It’s a lie, people they are telling lies!! The files are falsified! This is all-” He was cut short by Shelia walking over and backhanding him knocking him to the ground.
“I was going to read my statement before I killed you but since you keep interrupting I’ll just kill you first and then read my statement.”
“No! No, please… please...” Councilor Morgan was hauled to his feet, a wet stain appearing on his trousers.
“Ok, hold him right there.” Shelia said as she backed up a few feet and pulled out her sidearm. She then turned to the camera. “This pistol, here zoom in on this serial number please. Got it? Great. This pistol will be placed on e-buy for any interested collectors. Not sure when I will be able to post the auction but keep your eyes open for it.” She then turned to Councilor Morgan. “Good-bye, porkie.”
“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that,” Logan said as his entire crew leveled their weapons at Shelia and her team.
The rest of the series can be found here
I'm not going to leave you guys hanging for two weeks this time, promise.
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Mediterranean Cruise (2018)

Mediterranean Cruise (2018)
Here is how to make the most of a one-week Mediterranean cruise and see as much of Europe that one can possibly manage in one week. I planned our cruise to minimize any unpleasant surprises and yet leave room to be spontaneous and adventurous.
This article is not about cruise ships and you do not have to be a fan of cruises as my trip was mostly on land other than the overnight cruising. I felt that at the age of 57, I had delayed Europe long enough and with my busy business schedule, the cruise was the only way to get a snapshot of three countries and six cities in 10 days total, plus two days for flying from and to Canada. My wife does not like cruises, and I was left to travel with Lucas, our seventeen-year-old!
In August 2018, Lucas and I flew to Barcelona, Spain, the embarking port for the Norwegian, Epic cruise ship. It was our very first time on a cruise and our very first time to Europe except for England. I do not recommend August or July for this trip as it is high season for local tourism, and it is too hot to walk the cities (well too hot for me). However, if you have kids in school, then you understand that it must be summer, unless you choose to go without them.
Our ship would mostly cruise at nighttime giving us a full day from 7 am to 6 pm in most cities. That was perfect for me because there is only so much staring at water I can enjoy, and spending time in a tiny casino or eating non-stop are not my kind of pastime. If you are a cruise fan, then Norwegian Epic is great. They have about 10 wonderful restaurants, a superbly well-organized huge buffet with great selection of international food, a nice water park on the upper deck, and even a youth club with games, music, and dance to keep your teens entertained.
Every evening after our long city walk, Lucas and I enjoyed a nice meal after our shower and then watched a show or a musical performance before we hit the sack in our comfortable balcony room. I do not like closed spaces and a balcony room was well worth the small difference in price, even though we did not have much time to be on the balcony. Epic was also completely renovated in 2015, which meant it was clean and up to date on amenities. Always check the year the ship was build or was renovated before committing to a cruise.
Our cruise had stops in these cities:
1- Barcelona, Spain - embarking
a. visit Gothic centre, La Rambla, La Sagrada Familia church, Park Güell,
2- Naples, Italy
a. Rented a car and drove to Sorrento (an hour drive)
3- Rome, Italy
a. Took the train to the city centre and then the city tour-bus to Vatican City, San Angelo Castle, Piazza di Spagna – drove past Colosseum
4- Florence and Pisa tower, Italy – walking tour, site seeing
5- Cannes and Nice, France – walking tour, site seeing
6- Mallorca (Majorca), Spain - took a taxi to Palma Nova beach, swam and chilled
What to pack? We traveled very light with one carryon and a backpack. The backpack was for our extra stuff and NOT for touring the city. I do not recommend walking with a backpack, even less in the summer. Other than the usual travel items, here are some essentials I had to buy.
1- Light and cool walking shoes that were comfortable for walking and cool for summer. I bought a pair of nice leather sandals with good support and solid straps for walking. Also packed a pair of dress shoes for evening dinner on the ship and exercise shoes that I never used!
2- Summer shirts. I ordered some European collared Linen shirts. They look nice, are cool, and comfortable. www.bensherman.com has a good selection of those if you live in Canada or USA. Pack lots of tees for less formal places.
3- A couple of dress pants (linen and or khaki) for the evening restaurant and shows and dress shorts for long walks.
4- Beach sandal and swimming trunk for the Beach in Mallorca which I ended up buying in Cannes
5- Your credit card, Euro currency, and travel documents of course. Leave them in the safety box in your room and only take what you need for the day.
Barcelona, Spain: We arrived Barcelona three days ahead of schedule to experience one city for more than just a day. We stayed at the Boutique Hotel Violeta (http://violetaboutique.com/home/) in the centre of the city and only three blocks from the Plaza Catalunya. It was the best and most centric location in my opinion. I loved the hotel.
Violeta was a small hotel that reminded me of my apartment in Buenos Aires. The hotel is in a residential apartment building where they had turned two floors into hotel rooms. The Gothic architecture offered us a giant completely renovated room with a very high ceiling. We had two queen size beds in our room, a sitting area and plenty of open space. The reception was extremely helpful with information, and being small, made check-in a breeze.
Violeta Boutique also included a European coffee and pastry breakfast but if you wanted an American breakfast, there was a small cafe next door on the street level and plenty of other options within a three-block radius.
Our three days in Barcelona coincided with the Fiesta de Gracia (thanksgiving!) which was a 20-minute bus ride from Plaza Catalunya. I had bought a 10-ride Metro-Bus pass (Credit card size) from the Metro (subway, underground) station at Catalunya. Fiesta de Gracia was in the Garcia neighborhood where all the streets were colourfully decorated by the residents and live bands played all night on the streets and restaurants had set outdoor patios. The music was free, the food was reasonably priced, and people were jolly. It was my second favourite part of our time in Barcelona and we went there two evenings.
Barcelona Gothic city
From the airport, we took a bus straight to Plaza Catalunya (Plaça de Catalunya) in 20 minutes and then walked three blocks to our hotel. I had the hotel directions Googled (searched) in advance. I am fluent in Spanish (the Argentine version) so taking public transit was natural for me. Although Barcelona is a destination for international tourism and most people in the industry seem to speak English.
I bought a SIM card for my phone (which was unlocked in advance) at the airport for €30 from Vodafone (https://www.vodafone.com/) that gave me 10 Gig of mobile data covering most of Europe for up to a month. It did not include coverage on the cruise ship.
La Rambla and the old Gothic city in Barcelona were 10 to 15-minute walk from our hotel or Plaza Catalunya. You want to spend half a day walking this area, watching the beautiful shops, the narrow streets of Gothic centre and try a street café or restaurant.
La Sagrada Familia is a must see for its architecture alone. We took a bus there, but you must purchase tickets in advance if you plan to go inside on a specific day and skip the long lineup. This is another half-day venture unless you want to tour the outside which is fascinating enough. I found it amazing to see how much craft and detail was offered to decorate the exterior of the building. It is no wonder that the new extension brings a modern and plain contrast that just does not quite match the elegance and masterful craftsmanship of the old.
https://preview.redd.it/vtg8evyjdv851.jpg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=777149d10c02a875134f6fab5d5ae73072cbf3b7
Park Guell is another 20-minute bus ride to the higher altitudes of Barcelona. It is a beautiful park with some very interesting structures left behind. It was a good half-day break from the city to relax and enjoy the nature. You can also see the entire city from the top.
Restaurant can be pricey in the touristy Plaça de Catalunya area. I managed to venture a couple of blocks off the main streets and find some local small restaurants. We had a great satisfying meal at a fantastic price and mingled with the residents. I even found a little Italian owned pizza place! Of course, we also tried the more refined tapas restaurants. After all, we were tourists.
Naples, Italy: The longest leg of our cruise was from Barcelona to Naples which took a full day at sea. That was perfect because it provided us the opportunity to navigate the ship and the amenities, learn the evening programs, browse the list of restaurants, and to start our reservations. I did not think that Naples had enough to interest me for the whole day and I hungered to see the Amalfi coast. Amalfi coast was too far for a day trip, so I decided that Sorrento and maybe Positano would be close enough. I rented a car from Hertz in advance which was a five-minute walk from the port. The car cost me about $150 Canadian, tax included! Luckily, I still remembered how to drive standard transmission (stick-shift).
We made it to Sorrento on the scenic highway with no problem. Traffic did slow at some points giving the driver (me) an opportunity to enjoy the scenery. About 10 minutes before arriving, atop the hills on the narrow road that took us to Sorrento, I found a little space to park the car and breath-in the fresh view of Sorrento waterfront. We could see the sail boats floating on the Mediterranean blue water, and the colourful little houses built on the slope of the hill from the top all the way to the sea. The buildings were in so many colours as if the quaint Sorrento were architected by Michelangelo to be lived by DaVinci’s Mona Lisa.
Sorrento from the road top
Sorrento was so beautiful that we spent the entire day there. We parked the car in an underground parking across to Gran Hotel Europa Palace (www.europapalace.com) on the hilltop. We must have spend about 45 minutes roaming the exterior of the hotel, admiring the architecture and the impressive iron gate, and then spending time on the back patio taking a closer look at the colourful buildings on the hill rolling down to the water. There were stone walking paths from the houses to the water where a giant deck with seats and shades turned the sea into a giant public pool.
Sorrento Hotel
The ladies in reception were extremely helpful offering us information and allowing me to charge my mobile since I had forgotten my charger! According to one of them, the German war maps were still on the lobby walks behind the giant paintings at this fortress (now hotel). I wanted to go down to the waterfront for lunch. So, the nice lady called her friend, the owner of a restaurant on the waterfront, and they sent us a car at no charge and after lunch they drove us back. The ride to the water was through narrow winding streets of Sorrento. After lunch we took a walk along the harbour and watched the sail boats rock on calm waters. I would like to spend a week or more in Southern Italy some day.
I forgot to mention that my cousin lives in Naples working on his PhD. He was our translator for the day. This was our first encounter in forty years (that is a sad tale that should not ruin this travel story). On the way back, we sat in a very nice café in Naples and had an amazing coffee and pastry before heading back to our ship. Italian pastry is the best, with my apology to mom and all the Persians.
Sorrento harbour
Rome, Italy: The port for Rome is in Civitavecchia, an hour drive from Rome. A tour purchased from the cruise would have been around $300 CDN per person. I like to think that I am adventurous and enjoy experimenting the local ways as much as I can. However, I understand that you may think that I am just cheap. I am fine with that. My son (Lucas) and I took a five-minute bus ride to the train station and paid €10 each to take the fast train to Rome. I love trains a lot more than buses.
We could have ventured Rome with local transit; however, our time was limited and we could not afford any time asking for directions. If I recall accurately, the daily hop-on-hop-off city tour was about €20 per person. To visit Rome and only spend one day should be a crime but a snapshot to calm my itching curiosity was the deal I had taken. I would say that Rome and Vatican City would require at least a week. There are many ancient Basilicas other than St. Peter’s each offering a unique history and that alone is well worth a week for me.
The bus passed by the Colosseum, check mark. We were heading to the Vatican City knowing well that we may not make it inside. After all, Vatical city is a day by itself. The bus dropped us a few blocks away in front of San Angelo Castle also known as Mausoleum of Hadrian https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castel_Sant%27Angelo. The castle was a tall cylinder-like giant stone building walled all around like a fortress. I thought we would take a quick tour of the place at €15 (it was free for minors “Lucas”). We ended up spending over two hours admiring the decorated walls and ceilings with painting that were full of stories, and the museum items there were placed in its numerous rooms. We climbed many rocky stairs all the way to the top of this tallest structure in Rome, ventured the narrow hallways and took some pictures on the roof.
San Angelo Castle
The entrance to Vatican City was a ten-minute walk. Before crossing the bridge over Tiber (Tevere) we sat on the patio of a river-side food booth to have a snack. We walked to Vatican City and spent an hour in St. Peter’s Square (Piazza San Pietro) observing the architecture, the elegantly attired Guards, the crowd lining up and the shops that lure the tourist.
We took the tour bus back to Piazza di Espagna. This was the cleanest, most modern, and prettiest part of the city that our eyes had seen in the past few hours. The bus left us on the upper escalation of the Piazza where I took some pictures before descending the steep long set of steps into the centre of the shops and restaurants. We walked for about an hour window shopping and then found a restaurant patio in a pedestrian intersection. It was a touristy area but still reasonably priced. We certainly could give ourselves this one treat before heading back to the train station for our hour and twenty-minute ride back.
Piazza di Espagna
Total cost of our Rome venture including transportation, admissions, and food (for two) was €150. Lunch was the biggest expense.
** Picture
Florence and Pisa, Italy: Another restaurant and show evening aboard the Norwegian Epic, and we arrived in Florence (port of Livorno) early morning. Getting to Florence by public transit was too complicated. A car ride from port of Livorno to Florence was about 90 minutes and to Pisa around 30 minutes. I was lucky to find a private mini-van taxi (a brand new eight-seater Mercedes) that needed two more passengers to get going. At €50 per person to take us to Florence and then Pisa and back, it was a great deal. This deal could have been booked online in advance for €40. A lesson learned here. The other people sharing our ride were a family of four from Montreal, and a mother-son pair from Los Angles.
Everyone was very reserved and quiet. Lucas and I sat in the front with the driver and I spend the entire trip learning from our friendly driver. Florence is beautiful and quaint. However, I thought I had enough architecture in Rome and did not feel like lining up for an hour to see another church. We took a walking tour of Florence and had a meal at small sandwich joint run by two very funny and entertaining ladies. They offered a great selection of artisanal sandwiches, but almost two years later now, I cannot remember what I ate.
Pisa was another little town walled all around. I can imagine the great length the leaders had to go to protect people from attacks and we so often take our freedom for granted. Of course, we must protect ourselves from partisan politics and corporate lawyers, but that is easily manageable. At this point of the trip, I had enough sight seeing. I would have been good with a video of Pisa on YouTube. Here is a picture of the magnificent but defected marble structure.
Florence
Residents sunbathing in Florence
Pisa
Canes and Nice, France:
Canes, France was physically the most beautiful city on this trip, in my opinion. It was manicured clean and peaceful. Canes did not have a port for the cruise ships, hence we had to anchor in the sea and take the emergency boats to the shore. The emergency boats were giant, and each held about 200 people. We had a short time here and we were tired. I should have taken a tour bus, but my sense of adventure (or cheapness) had us walking up the steep and narrow winding street and then back down to the city centre for a bite.
I found a small sandwich shop to share a ham and cheese baguette and a couple of drinks with Lucas. In my broken French, I asked the young lady behind the counter if she could cut the baguette in half for us and she gave me a stern “Non”. I am not certain whether that was a lack of courtesy or I had crossed some religious or cultural boundaries. It was simple enough to split the baguette with me hand. We should have continued our tour of the city and stayed in Canes as I had advised our friends from Quebec. However, a sudden urge came over me to take the train to Nice. We did, and Nice’s downtown and beach area were beautiful to walk; however, the injustice I did to my own principals of travelling is unforgivable. The whole day was just too rushed and consuming.
Canes, City Market
Mallorca (Majorca) Spain:
The trip from Canes to Mallorca was the second longest leg of the cruise. We arrived Mallorca around 1 pm giving us roughly five hours on the Island. After seven days of walking the cities in the heat of August, even the young Lucas was exhausted. The port in Mallorca was not walking distance to any interesting place and Lucas wished to spend the day at a beach. Great idea, I thought.
I Googled the most scenic beaches nearby and Palma Nova was the second choice but the only feasible option due to our limited time. We had a brief line up for a taxi right at the port. There was a family of five from Peru from our cruise in front of us in the lineup and they could not all fit into one taxi. I invited the grandpa of the family to come with us since they were heading to the same beach. Grandpa was a good companion and an opportunity for me to learn about Peru. We agreed on a time for going back together and then split to our ventures.
Palma Nova was perfect to spend a day. The beach had the right amount of crowd and was decorated by some rocky hills on one side for us to take a walk in between swims. The water was perfectly tempered, calm, and clear blue. There were no high rises nor big tourist hotels on this beach and plenty of restaurants and shops. For lunch we crossed the street on the beach to a patio and I shared a nice pizza and drinks for €12. We paid €15 for the bamboo umbrella and two chairs to have our spot on the beach and about €35 total for the taxi ride back and forth. That brings our total to €62 for a beautiful relaxing day in Majorca.
Palma Nova beach, Mallorca
I would like to spend a week in Mallorca. There are many scenic quaint towns and beautiful beaches to enjoy. If you are interested to know more, you can search for Palma, Sóller, Valldemossa, and Pollença. All these are on the west side of the island and within an hour drive from Palma. I would stay in Palma and make day trips to each of these towns. If you are a tennis fan, then you will probably add Rafael Nadal’s academy (https://www.rafanadalacademy.com/en) to the list, which is about an hour drive east of Palma.
Palma Nova beach, Majorca
Our last night on the cruise was concluded by a beautiful three course meal and listening to a live band on the middle deck’s lobby. There was a talented singer among the passengers and a few great dancers on board who joined the performance. It was a great way to end the cruise. We arrived Barcelona early morning, well rested, with a fresh shower and a full tummy. We found a taxi and headed straight to the airport to catch our noon flight back to Toronto without rush. I suppose my project management trainings mixed with my entrepreneurial nature, made a perfect schedule for the trip. You can check out www.pmi.org if you are interested in formalizing your skills for time and budget management.
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JUST GOT OFF the NCL Bliss - My personal impressions (long)

Of course, the first disclaimer is “we all have different interests and likes.” We were excited to sail aboard The Bliss based on many good reviews. I was a little hesitant because of the size and number of passengers. We just returned from the 7 day Mexican Riviera cruise. Weather was meltingly hot and humid in Puerto Vallarta and Mazatlan. Cabo was quainter than we expected.
The good stuff - and it’s almost all good! Large ship, very clean and easy to get around (walking) and navigate. Beautiful art. Fantastic chandelier at Ocean Place atrium! Nicely appointed.
We had a balcony room, which was just fine. The closet is facing the sofa and it was quite awkward to access the hangers. I mean, there was 6” between sofa and closet door. Haha, we moved the bed down just a bit so we could squeeze in. There was room for summer stuff, but it might be tight to stow jackets and heavier clothing if you went to Alaska.
The bathroom was great. The glass enclosed shower was really a nice touch. There was also a little coffee maker in the room, which we used often. We had a mid ship location, slightly forward, and it was not far from elevators except.... (see cons).
We did not partake of any. speciality dining. The Local is open 24/7, and great for light meals. The Korean chicken wings were fabulous. The service was very nice. You could sit “outside” the restaurant, around the atrium, watching things happen, and they would bring you your food.
Taste and Savor main restaurants were very good with very good service. We usually booked a reservation to avoid any wait. After all, there are a LOT of people on this ship. It wasn’t five star dining (i.e., when the waiters come to your table and lift off all the domes covering your food at once, etc.), but we liked it. The appetizers are small, so don’t hesitate to order more than one.
The Manhattan room is larger and a bit noisy. We had the misfortune to go on a busy night with not many table choices. We were sat next to a table of 12 kids (parents were at different table). They were not bad kids...but they were kids, talking and doing all the stuff we all do. I mean, any party of 12 might be a little crazy. However, it took any quiet elegance away from the experience.
The Garden Cafe is their buffet and breakfast is insanely crowded. We loved the Indian food, the soft serve ice cream, the omelette station. Really, things were quite edible. There is free Iced tea, coffee, lemonade and water.
Gem of the ship: The Observation Lounge. This is truly an island of tranquility amidst a lot of action. It’s a large area, with great lounge chairs, views, and ambience. The PErFECT quiet space. Also, Suzanne Jade is wonderful at the Piano!!
The Bliss theater is huge. Get there at least 15 minutes early to obtain a good seat. You need reservations for “Jersey Boys” so do that prior to departing if you can. They also had a production called “Six” which was lots of fun~! They say it will be going to Broadway in the future.
Casino: pretty large with a LOT of slots. Most table games were 10.00 minimum, which meant we weren’t gambling.
If you like pools and slides, you have come to the right place. The kids (of all ages) loved it. There is also “Spice H20” club which is more adult, if you don’t want quite so much frenetic action. The crowd tends to be younger and livelier than on other cruise ships. However, it wasn’t “spring break” antics! Just happy people. Most were super polite and we had some good laughs - especially about the elevator waits.
The hot tubs were plentiful even on busy days. Surprise!
The Gym/fitness had plenty of treadmills but not much more in the way of exercise activities. I think one cardio class that was maybe held there. I do my own thing, but if you are looking for a lot of organized classes, forget it. Bring your own water to center or sip from the fountain. I didn’t try the Thermal Suite, which is a big upcharge. Based on the crowds everywhere else, I’m glad i didn’t. I have a feeling every lounge chair would be booked. That’s not tranquility to me. (Save that for the Haven Lounge, which i’m such is quite refined).
“The Waterfront” was nice to walk around during the day. It wasn’t crowded at all, so we sat there, looking out on the ocean, on one of the days at sea. Peace!
We found the staff to be friendly and accommodating. Our room steward, Roel, was so sweet. We aren’t demanding, but he learned our schedule so when we went out, our room was quickly made up. Thank you, Roel!
Take ten steps in just about any direction in a public area and you will find a very nice bar. I had two drinks on the vacation. They were each 13.30 with the tax and auto tip. A lot of people purchase the unlimited drink package. Keep in mind, even if it is a “free at sea” perk, the gratuities and tips are NOT, and they add up to at least 200.00 dollars - maybe more. - and everyone in your room has to purchase it.
I liked that the smoking area in the Casino was closed off with glass doors.
If you like to be casual, you will LOVE this cruise. There really is no real dress code. People wore shorts and flip flops everywhere except, i believe, in the uber fancy ocean blue restaurant.
The “Cons” I’m going to start with the very worst thing that happened on the ship. The debarkation. I know, it’s always a drag, but this one was a REAL drag. People left their rooms and hung in the stairs well before it was their turn, creating a nightmarish traffic jam everywhere. There were ZERO elevators to take. We survived, but pity anyone who is even slightly handicapped. We literally stood in a roped off line that wended all through the ship, two persons wide: through the casino, restaurants, down the hall, make a turn, etc etc. etc. It took us over 1 3/4 HOURS to debark, and we were carrying our OWN luggage. Customs was a bit slow, but NOTHING compared to (what i felt) the haphazard and thoughtless way to make guests feel like cattle as they departed their vacation. Standing for THAT long, without able to use the restroom, get something to drink, even sit for a second - the absolute PITS.
The obvious solution is to pay through the nose and book “The Haven” where there is preferred treatment. We couldn’t afford that, but, really, that’s the thing to do on this ship.
Disorganized entertainment listings: Using the NCL app, it said that “The Beatles” at the cavern was SOLD OUT. Not “first come, first served” - which is how it really is!!! We finally caught on, but it was very misleading and even the box office wasn’t clear. She said, “oh it’s sold out but you have a waiting line.” No, it’s first come, first served, and maybe a waiting line for people who don’t get in. I have a feeling this also applied to the Social Comedy club and that we missed out, thinking that it WAS sold out.
We didn’t find that many activities to do that we liked. That is just personal. Also, many featured things like “Deal or No Deal” have to be bought into, in order to even get a chance to play. It seemed that we were being nickel and dimed all the time. Some folks would say, “Well, i just pay for what i want and don’t overpay.,” Well said, but i like a more inclusive experience, I think.
Excursions: Glad we didn’t do any based on the crazy crowds that lined up. However, we walked to the marina in Cabo San Lucas, and you can easily grab a little boat trip out to Land’s End for 10.00 - that’s right, 10 bucks - per person. It was really fun and lasted about 45 minutes.
TV selection. I guess this is a cruise ship problem. There were few things to watch on TV. We like to chill in our stateroom in the afternoons, so it would have been nice to grab a movie or series. We saw one only (A STar is born).
Crowds crowds crowds. This wasn’t just our observation. The place can be a madhouse after the end of any show. People crowd the elevator areas and it’s very difficult to get a lift during some hours. VERY difficult. During the “next” cruise presentation, NCL said that except for one ship, future ships were going to be a tad smaller. I wouldn’t rule out a smaller NCL ship.
I didn’t like that they were always pushing the sale of some lotto ticket and chance to win money for the cruise. Like, before just about every show or presentation.
Shopping: o.k. Not as many high end watches (if ya care) or other souvenirs. I’ve seen more on smaller ships. Just saying...
Rooms: our end tables were 6” wide - that’s right, SIX INCHES - and everything kept on falling off. There were nice USB ports on the lamps. I didn’t find myself sitting on the balcony, BUT it was very fun to have when arriving or leaving port, or to grab a wonderful sunset.
In conclusion, this was a very fun cruise for us, and we enjoyed the entertainment, but didn’t find that many other activities to draw us in. (The game shows were held in the very active, noisy Atrium, so they weren’t as engaging as they would have been if held in a smaller club or bar).
All in all, I enjoyed my cruise on the Bliss. I don’t think i would sail her again because the crowd size and constant “pay for this” mentality that left me feeling a little disenchanted. It’s partly our fault, because we aren’t into go-carts and laser tag, which many adored. I think we prefer more of a classic shipboard atmosphere. It was GREAT that it wasn’t stuffy, but sometimes we missed certain traditional things.
Also, the disembarkation was really really awful. They need to spread it out or find ways to manage the hoards better. People totally lost their civility, getting in line 1 hour before their “color” was even called. They packed the elevators and stairwells, preventing an organized exit. This made things almost dangerously crowded and difficult. Then again, pay for the upscale “Haven” and i bet it was an entirely different animal. But one still might venture out into the huddled masses (which is how I felt) and then, ugh, very crowded. They need to explain how the smaller clubs work on the ship (first come, first served) and not say “This is sold out” on the activities app. That was really annoying! I loved ditching the “formal nights” and that nonsense. I like “freestyle dining” although it is still wise to book a table if you also have other evening plans. If you can afford it, “The Haven” is the way to go. It will give you a respite from the crowds as well as a lot of priority perks (including disembarkation). I personally would book a smaller, more upscale ship if i were going to spend that money, BUT if I had teens and pre-teens, might consider this ship because of the water features, laser tag, and track.
This is especially good for young adults and families, as there are singles cabins and plenty of music venues as well as that super water park and scary slides!
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Things to do this weekend 09/20-09/22

A few quality events happening in Cedar Rapids and the surrounding area.
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MCU Movies Behind the Scenes Facts *Wanted to do this for fun* Day 1: Iron Man

So i'm going to go on IMDB and look at each MCU movies behind the scenes facts and POST THE MOST INTERESTING ONES here, I will post each movie a day instead of what I did before where I did 10 posts, I will start with the first Iron Man today and each day will be the next MCU movie after it, ending with Guardians 3, if people like this and want me to do the Netflix shows, Agents of Shield and Agent Carter, please let me know...OK....let's start

IRON MAN

1. The script was not completely finished when filming began, since the filmmakers were more focused on the story and the action, so the dialogue was mostly ad-libbed throughout filming. Director Jon Favreau acknowledged this made the film feel more natural. Some scenes were shot with two cameras, to capture lines improvised on the spot. Robert Downey, Jr. would ask for many takes of one scene, since he wanted to try something new. Gwyneth Paltrow, on the other hand, had a difficult time trying to match Downey with a suitable line, as she never knew what he would say.

2. Paul Bettany has never seen the film, and is unfamiliar with the plot. He said J.A.R.V.I.S. was the easiest job ever, and it was almost like a robbery, since he only worked for two hours, got paid a lot of money, then went on vacation with his wife (Jennifer Connelly).

3. Agent Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) was originally a much smaller part. In fact, the character at first was only called "Agent", and as filming went on, and it became apparent with Gregg's chemistry with all the other cast members, they added more and more scenes.

4. Director Jon Favreau wanted Robert Downey, Jr. because he felt the actor's past was right for the part. He commented: "The best and worst moments of Robert's life have been in the public eye. He had to find an inner balance to overcome obstacles that went far beyond his career. That's Tony Stark. Robert brings a depth that goes beyond a comic book character having trouble in high school, or can't get the girl." Favreau also felt Downey could make Stark "a likable asshole", but also depict an authentic emotional journey once he won over the audience.

5. To avoid spoilers about the final press conference, the extras were told that it was a dream sequence.

6. Tony Stark's computer system is called J.A.R.V.I.S. (Just A Rather Very Intelligent System). This is a tribute to Edwin Jarvis, Howard Stark's butler. He was changed to an artificial intelligence to avoid comparisons to Bruce Wayne's butler Alfred Pennyworth.

7. This is Marvel Studios' first self-financed movie.

8. In an interview with Britain's Empire Magazine, Robert Downey, Jr. thanked Burger King for helping him get straight in 2003, with a car full of drugs. He had a burger that was so disgusting, it made him rethink his life, and dump the drugs in the ocean. He repeats this, with his impromptu sit-down session with the press, upon his return from captivity. Burger King also promoted the film with toys based on this movie, as well as the sequel.

9. Jeff Bridges said he felt really uncomfortable not having a script or rehearsals, since normally he is very prepared, and knows his lines to the "T". But realizing it was like he was in a "two hundred million dollar student film" took the pressure off of him, and made it fun.

10. The Iron Man (1966) theme track can be heard in the film on several occasions: in the casino, in Stark's bedroom, and as Rhodey's ringtone.

11. Roughly four hundred fifty separate pieces make up the Iron Man suit.

12. To prepare for his role as Iron Man, Robert Downey, Jr. spent five days a week weight training and practiced martial arts to get into shape.

13. The roadster on which Tony Stark was working is owned by director Jon Favreau.

14. According to Paul Bettany, he did not know on which film he was working. He merely did the job as a favor for Jon Favreau, with whom he worked, in Wimbledon (2004).

15. This is the last film special effects expert Stan Winston completed before his death.

16. Jon Favreau celebrated getting the job as director by going on a diet and losing seventy pounds.

17. Four hundred extras were meant to be filmed standing at Tony Stark's press conference, but Robert Downey, Jr. suggested they ought to sit down, as that would be more realistic and comfortable.

18. Stan Lee, the creator of Iron Man, had originally based Tony Stark on Howard Hughes, who he felt was "one of the most colorful men of our time: an inventor, an adventurer, a multimillionaire, a ladies man, and finally, a nutcase." Robert Downey, Jr. further described his portrayal of Stark as "a challenge of making a wealthy, establishmentarian, weapons-manufacturing, hard-drinking, womanizing prick, into a character who is likeable, and a hero."

19. An early draft of the script revealed Tony Stark to be the creator of Dr. Otto Octavius' tentacles from Spider-Man 2 (2004). Octavius is a villain from the Spider-Man comic, but at the time, this wouldn't have been allowed, as Sony was the film rights holder to Spider-Man. However, Sony and Marvel agreed to share the film rights to the character in 2015, with Spider-Man/Peter Parker (Tom Holland) first appearing in Captain America: Civil War (2016), where he's introduced to Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.). Downey reprised his role in future Marvel Cinematic Universe films alongside Tom Holland as Peter ParkeSpider-Man.

20. Jon Favreau shot the film in California, because he felt that too many superhero films were set on the East Coast, especially New York City. As of May 2018, only seven of the nineteen films in the Marvel Cinematic Universe have featured New York City in some capacity. These being The Incredible Hulk (2008), Captain America: The First Avenger (2011), The Avengers (2012), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015); Doctor Strange (2016), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), and Avengers: Infinity War (2018).

21. For the first three Iron Man movies, director Jon Favreau thought of making the Iron Monger the main villain of the second film. Stane was going to be Stark's friend and confidante in the first film, but then would become his enemy in the second installment. However, Favreau was worried how to handle The Mandarin, who was to be the villain of the first film, so he decided to re-work the character into a behind-the-scenes presence, and make Iron Monger the first villain.

22. (At around one hour and fifty minutes) Just before the final press conference, Tony Stark is reading the newspaper with a grainy, amateur photograph of Iron Man on the cover. The picture is part of a video, shot by onlookers hiding in a bush during initial filming, that appeared on the Internet in 2007.

23. (At around one hour and twenty-five minutes) When Pepper discovers Tony removing the damaged Iron Man armor, Captain America's shield is on a workbench. This same scene was shown in many trailers, but the image of the shield was edited out.

24. (At around fifty-eight minutes) Obadiah Stane plays on the piano a musical piece written by eighteenth century composer Antonio Salieri. Salieri is best known as a jealous rival of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and was said to have murdered Mozart (although historical records have proven that, on the contrary, both had collaborated on, and promoted each other's work on several occasions). This serves as an appropriate parallel of Stark and Stane's relationship in the film.

25. Gwyneth Paltrow only needed to travel fifteen minutes to get to the studio. She claimed that this is a part of the reason she took the role, as she could be home with her two children during the entire shoot.

26. To prepare for his role as Obadiah Stane, Jeff Bridges read some of the "Iron Man" comic books that featured Stane. He also grew a beard and shaved his head, which he said was something he'd always wanted to do.

27. There are about five sets of armor in the film, all inspired from the "Iron Man" comics: Mark I armor, Stark's first suit, is a simple suit constructed of iron. Mark II armor is a silver suit, the prototype Stark develops (this can also be counted as the War Machine armor, as Rhodes looks speculatively at it). Mark III armor is the final red and gold armor. J.A.R.V.I.S. first presents the Mark III armor in full gold, the look pays tribute to the all-gold "Golden Avenger" armor Iron Man wore early in his career. J.A.R.V.I.S. later presents the armor in silver and red, making it look almost identical to Iron Man's "Silver Centurion" armor that he wore in the 1980s.

28. During the final battle, there was originally going to be a sequence where Tony, in the Iron Man suit, drives an Audi R8 that would crash into Iron Monger's legs then flip over, after which Iron Man would split the car in half and jump out. However, the Audi R8 was so well-built, that it refused to flip, despite repeated crashes and the roof wouldn't split the way director Jon Favreau wanted it to, because the car's frame was so tough. As a result, the whole final fight sequence was re-written. The filmmakers were so impressed by the toughness of the car, that it was decided that the convertible version was to be featured in Iron Man 2 (2010).

29. (At around one hour and forty-five minutes) During the highway battle with Iron Monger, a building can be seen in the background with a Roxxon logo. In the Marvel Universe, Roxxon is a notorious conglomerate known for illegal activities, agents of which were responsible for the deaths of Stark's parents.

30. During pre-production, Robert Downey, Jr. set up an office next to Jon Favreau's office, to discuss his role with him, and to be more involved in the film's screenwriting.

31. It took approximately seventeen years to get the film into development. Originally, Universal Pictures was to produce the film in April 1990. They later sold the rights to Twentieth Century Fox. Later, Fox sold the rights to New Line Cinema. Finally, Marvel Studios decided to handle their own creation.

32. Jeff Bridges, hearing that Obadiah was a Biblical name, researched the Book of Obadiah in the Bible, and was surprised to learn that a major theme in that particular book is retribution, which Obadiah Stane represents. However, the name "Obadiah" means "servant and worshiper of the Lord", which Stane obviously isn't.

33. In the comics, Obadiah Stane ran his own company (Stane International), and was actually a business rival to Tony Stark, rather than being part of Stark Enterprises.

34. Agent Phil Coulson repeatedly states he is a member of the "Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division" (finally shortening it to S.H.I.E.L.D.). In the comics, the S.H.I.E.L.D. Agency originally stood for the "Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage/Law-Enforcement Division", then in 1991, it was revised to the "Strategic Hazard Intervention/Espionage Logistics Directorate".

35. An early draft of the script had the Mandarin appear in the film, re-imagined as an Indonesian terrorist.

36. The production met with about thirty different writers, and they all passed, as most of them felt that Iron Man was a relatively obscure character in the Marvel universe. They were also a bit nervous about working for an untried studio better known for producing comic books. Even the re-writes led to many refusals.

37. In the comics, Tony Stark participated (and became Iron Man) in the Vietnam War. Later, this was changed to the Gulf War. In this film, the character's origin was changed to Afghanistan, as director Jon Favreau did not wish to make the film a period piece, but instead give it a realistic contemporary look.

38. Gwyneth Paltrow based her performance on 1940s heroines (who she claimed were sexy, witty, and innocent all at once).

39. In the Ultimate Marvel Comics series, the character of Nick Fury is portrayed as African-American, with his look and personality tailored after Samuel L. Jackson, all carried out with Jackson's explicit permission. During one of the Ultimate Avengers issues, while discussing the possibility of a movie being made about them, and which actors would play which heroes, Nick Fury comments that nobody else but Samuel L. Jackson could play him. Jackson, himself a comic book fan, played Fury in this movie. Later on, the popularity of this character led Marvel to introduce this character into the mainstream comics as "Nick Fury, Jr.", the son of the original Nick Fury, in a move to work towards retiring the original from the mainstream universe.

40. According to Jon Favreau, when making this film, there was a lot of pressure for it to succeed. This was particularly due to Marvel using their characters as collateral when they received a five hundred twenty-five million dollar, seven year deal, called a non-recourse debt facility, allowing them to make original films based on their properties. Marvel wanted to have complete creative control over their characters, build a film library, and greater profit potential than the deals they've inked with other studios owning the film rights to their characters. Marvel also changed its name to Marvel Entertainment, Incorporated, to establish a Hollywood presence. If the film didn't succeed, Marvel would've lost the intellectual property rights to their library.

41. Rachel McAdams was Jon Favreau's first choice to play Pepper Potts, but she turned the role down. She played a role in Doctor Strange (2016).

42. The Iron Man Mark I armor weighed ninety pounds.

43. An animatronic puppet of the Iron Monger was built for the film by Stan Winston Studios. It stood ten feet tall, and weighed eight hundred pounds, and was built on a set of gimbals, to simulate walking. It required five operators to run it.

44. According to Jon Favreau, Clive Owen, and Sam Rockwell are among the actors that were considered for Tony Stark during pre-production. Rockwell played Stark's rival Justin Hammer in Iron Man 2 (2010).

45. Chapter One of Phase One in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

46. Hugh Jackman was offered the role of Tony Stark.

47. According to Terrence Howard, he and Robert Downey, Jr. competed physically on the set: "I'm forty to fifty pounds heavier than him, so I'm lifting and I push up about two hundred twenty-five, and knocked it out ten times. Robert wanted to go about two hundred thirty-five, and he did it, so I pushed it up to about two hundred forty-five. Robert and his competitive ass almost tore my shoulder trying to keep up with him!"

48. The cave that imprisons Tony Stark was a one hundred fifty to two hundred yard-long set, which had built-in movable forks, to allow greater freedom for the film's crew. It also had an air conditioning system installed, as production designer J. Michael Riva had learned that remote caves are actually very cold.

49. This was the first in a planned six-picture deal between Marvel and Paramount, before the acquisition of Marvel by Disney, which transferred the distribution rights of The Avengers (2012) and Iron Man 3 (2013) to Disney, while Paramount kept the rights to Iron Man 2 (2010), Thor (2011), and Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) until Disney acquired them.

50. To prepare for her role as Pepper Potts, Gwyneth Paltrow asked Marvel to send her any comics to aid her understanding of the character.

51. For some of the shots of the first incarnation of the Iron Man suit, director Jon Favreau performed the motion capture.

52. Rock guitarist Tom Morello assisted Ramin Djawadi in composing the film's soundtrack. Morello had a cameo in the film as an Insurgent who gets killed when Tony Stark escapes the cave (perhaps fittingly, since Morello is a member of the band Rage Against the Machine).

53. Originally, Iron Man's archnemesis, the Mandarin, was going to be the film's villain, but Jon Favreau felt him to be too fantastic and dated, so he was re-written into a "working-behind-the-scenes" presence. Favreau cited "Star Wars" as a case: "I looked at the Mandarin more like how in 'Star Wars' you had the Emperor, but Darth Vader is the guy you want to see fight. Then you work your way to the time when lightning bolts are shooting out of the fingers, and all that stuff could happen. But you can't have what happened in Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983) happen in Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)."

54. (At around one hour and forty minutes) In the film, Rhodey (Terrence Howard) looks at the Mark II armor and says "Next time, baby!" hinting at War Machine, Rhodey's alter-ego. An animation of a War Machine suit, with a Gatling gun attached to a shoulder, can be seen in the closing credits. War Machine appeared in Iron Man 2 (2010), Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015), Captain America: Civil War (2016), and Avengers: Infinity War (2018). However, in those films the role of James Rhodes was played by Don Cheadle.

55. In the comics, the chauffeur, Harold "Happy" Hogan, is a confidante of Tony Stark, who later marries Virginia "Pepper" Potts, after a tragedy draws them closer, though they later divorce. Additionally, the origin of Happy's nickname in the comics, is that he was a former professional boxer who earned that nickname, due to his reputation of never fighting back.

56. When Robert Downey, Jr. was carrying out motion-capture work on the film, he would sometimes wear the helmet, sleeves, and chest of the Iron Man armor over the motion-capture suit, to realistically portray Iron Man's movements.

57. In October 1999, Quentin Tarantino was approached to write and direct the film. Later, Joss Whedon, a big fan of the comic book, was in negotiations to direct the film in June 2001. In December 2004, Nick Cassavetes was hired as a director, with the film to release in 2006, but everything fell through. Finally, Jon Favreau was hired as director in April 2006.

58. (At around forty-seven minutes) Obadiah Stane tells Tony Stark "We're iron mongers, we make weapons." Stane's supervillain moniker is the Iron Monger, and thus foreshadows Stane's own transition in the film to an armor-clad antagonist.

59. First film released in 2008 to pass the $300 million mark at the U.S. box-office.

60. One of the cars in Tony Stark's garage, is a Tesla Roadster, which had not yet been released during the film's production.

61. (At around thirty-four minutes) The code that appears on the computer screen is a utility that downloads firmware into Lego robotic toy (called RCX). It may suggest that Tony Stark used this program to download firmware into his robotic suit.

62. The sound used during a target lock-on in Iron Man's Head Up Display (HUD) is the sound of the laser cannon firing in Space Invaders (1978) video game.

63. There are various references in the film to the Mandarin, Iron Man's archnemesis: -The organization that kidnaps Stark is called "the Ten Rings", after the ten rings that comprise the Mandarin's arsenal (Jon Favreau has stated that The Ten Rings, in fact, works for The Mandarin). -Commandant Raza speaks of Genghis Khan and Asia. -Commandant Raza is seen occasionally fiddling with an ornate gold ring. -The rings are worn by Stark, Stane, Rhodes, and Raza (that is to say those in positions of power).

63. According to Jon Favreau, it was difficult to find a proper opponent for Iron Man to face, since he wanted the film to remain grounded in reality as much as possible. It was decided to have a foe in the film who would serve as a parallel of Stark (for example, an armored opponent). Well-known enemies like the Titanium Man and the Crimson Dynamo were considered, but finally the lesser-known Iron Monger, Obadiah Stane, was chosen as Iron Man's adversary (Stane, as well as possessing his own armor, is also a business contemporary of Stark).

64. "I am Iron Man" was ad-libbed by Robert Downey, Jr. Producer Kevin Feige approved using it in the final cut of the film, and credits this with his decision to largely do away with secret identities in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Only Spider-Man conceals his identity, while Thor's alter ego, Donald Blake, is similarly not used.

65. (At around fifty-eight minutes) Obadiah brings Tony a pizza from New York City in a box marked "Ray's". Ray's is a famous chain of pizza places in New York City. It also marks the second Favreau-directed film to refer to Ray's Pizza. In Elf (2003), it is the pizza recommended by Santa Claus to Buddy the Elf.

66. As a tribute to Howard Hughes, who inspired Iron Man, production was mainly based in the former Hughes Company soundstages in Playa Vista. The scene where the Iron Man Mark III armor was created was filmed in the area where Hughes assembled the H-4 Hercules airplane (better known as "The Spruce Goose").

67. (At around one hour and forty minutes) When Tony Stark tells Rhodey to "keep the skies clear" before going to confront Obadiah Stane, Rhodey looks to the silver Mark II suit before saying "next time, baby". Rhodey (played by Don Cheadle) donned this suit in Iron Man 2 (2010), becoming War Machine.

68. Christine Everhart (Leslie Bibb) works for Vanity Fair in the movie, but in the comics, she works for the Daily Bugle.

69. Nicolas Cage and Tom Cruise were interested in playing Iron Man. Cruise, in particular was going to act in, and produce the film. Cage played another Marvel superhero in Ghost Rider (2007).

70. Jon Favreau was originally going to direct Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) in the manner of a superhero comedy adventure, but he instead chose to direct this film and give it a more serious tone. Ironically, Nick Cassavetes, who was chosen to direct that film, had been filled in to direct this film in December 2004.

71. The climactic showdown in the film, with Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man, facing Obadiah Stane, a.k.a. Iron Monger, is based on Iron Man #200 (November 1986). A face-off occurs between Stane's larger, more powerful Iron Monger and Stark's greater experience, and an exploding reactor appears. However, the comic concludes with Stane committing suicide with a repulsor ray blast to the head.

72. Jon Favreau advised composer Ramin Djawadi to keep the core of the music on heavy guitar, which he felt suited Iron Man best. Djiwadi composed the music on a heavy guitar before arranging it for the orchestra to perform.

73. This is the only Marvel Cinematic Universe film, and the only Iron Man film, that does not feature any martial-arts fights. It is also the first of two Marvel Cinematic Universe films in which Robert Downey, Jr. (Iron Man) appeared, but doesn't show off his skills in the Wing Chun fighting style.

74. Most of the exterior scenes set in Afghanistan were filmed at Olancha Sand Dunes. There, the crew had to endure two days of forty to sixty mile per hour winds.

75. Jon Favreau wanted Tony Stark and Pepper Potts' relationship to be like a 1940s comedy along the lines of His Girl Friday (1940).

76. Tony Stark drives an Audi R8 in the film, as part of a promotional deal Marvel Studios made with the Audi Automobile Company. Two other vehicles, the Audi S5 Coupe, and the Audi Q7 SUV, also make an appearance in the film.

77. (At around one hour and four minutes) Adi Granov designed a billboard poster of Iron Man's nemesis, the alien dragon Fin Fang Foom, for the film. This poster can be seen when Stark, while testing the Mark II armor, flies straight down a road (on Stark's left side).

78. The Industrial Light & Magic animators studied skydivers performing in a vertical wind tunnel, to create Iron Man's aerial movements. Iron Man was also animated to take off slowly and land quickly, to make those movements more realistic.

79. This is the first film set in, and the beginning of, the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

80. When Pepper Potts is downloading a set of secret files, the authorization on one document is listed as "Lebowski". Jeff Bridges, who plays Stane in this film, played "The Dude" in The Big Lebowski (1998).

81. (At around one hour and twenty-one minutes) The pilots in the F-22 jets are codenamed "Whiplash 1" and "Whiplash 2". In the Ultimate Iron Man comics, Whiplash is a super villain who possesses a pair of gloves with steel wires attached that acted as whips. Whiplash appeared in Iron Man 2 (2010).

82. According to Ramin Djawadi, Tony Stark's different moods, as performed by Robert Downey, Jr., was the inspiration for the Iron Man scores in the film.

83. The leader of the Ten Rings is named Raza, after a Marvel Comics character. However, the comic version of Raza is not an enemy of Iron Man, but an alien cyborg, who is a member of the space pirate gang known as the Starjammers. The only similarity they share, is their facial disfigurement. In the comics, Raza has implants on the left side of his face, while in the film, Raza is scarred on the right side of his face.

84. Comic book writers Mark Millar, Brian Michael Bendis, Joe Quesada, Tom Brevoort, Axel Alonzo, and Ralph Macchio were commissioned by Jon Favreau to give advice on the script.

85. An early draft of the script had Howard Stark, Iron Man's father, as a ruthless industrialist who becomes War Machine.

86. (At around one hour and twenty-four minutes) When Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges) watches Rhodey (Terrence Howard) on television, an expensive chess set is visible on the table in front of him. In the comics, Obadiah Stane was fond of playing chess, and also created a group called "The Chessmen" to attack Stark Industries.

87. Clark Gregg (Agent Phil Coulson) stated in the DVD commentary of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (2013), Season One, Episode Eleven, "The Magical Place", that he and Gwyneth Paltrow have known each other since she was nineteen-years-old.

88. According to the January 2012 Air & Space Magazine, Tony Starks's character was also inspired by South African born SpaceX (and PayPal co-founder), Elon Musk. A statue of Iron Man, complete with company ID, "stands guard" at SpaceX, along with a current version Cylon.

89. Jon Favreau played a character similar to Tony Stark, named Pete Becker, on Friends (1994). Stark and Becker are rich playboys, who give up their current life to fight, Tony fights crime, while Pete fights in Ultimate Fighting. Favreau even sported Stark-like facial hair for the role.

90. During filming, a tank accidentally ran over an Aaton 35mm camera.

91. To prepare for his role as James Rhodes, Terrence Howard visited the Nellis Air Force Base on March 16, 2007, where he ate with the base's airmen and observed the routines of HH-60 Pave Hawk rescue helicopters and F-22 Raptor jets.

92. Director Jon Favreau described the film as "a kind of independent film-espionage thriller crossbreed; a Robert Altman-directed Superman (1978), with shades of Tom Clancy novels, James Bond films, RoboCop (1987), and Batman Begins (2005)."

93. All three sets of Iron Man's armor were designed by Adi Granov, a comic book artist from the "Iron Man" comic, and Phil Saunders. They were then constructed by Stan Winston Studios.

94. Jon Favreau chose Industrial Light & Magic to provide the film's visual effects after watching Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) and Transformers (2007).

95. (At around one hour and fifty-five minutes) Shortly into the end credits sequence, there is an animation of the Ten Rings logo. This refers to the terrorist group that captures Tony Stark early in the film, but is not actually acknowledged. It is, however, commonly acknowledged in Iron Man 3 (2013).

96. Timothy Olyphant read for the role of Tony Stark.

97. (At around one hour and two minutes) When Iron Man first takes flight, he travels at 0.29 Mach (two hundred twenty miles per hour) over California.

98. Production designer J. Michael Riva researched on objects found in prison which could be improvised and used for other purposes (for instance a sock used to make tea), to provide more verisimilitude to the film.

99. The Stark Industries logo is similar to that of Lockheed Martin, co-developer of the F-22 Raptor.

100. To create the shots of Iron Man against the F-22 Raptors, cameras were flown in the air to provide reference for the dynamics of wind and frost at that altitude.

101. Jon Favreau was inspired to cast Robert Downey, Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man after seeing his performance in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005). Shane Black, who wrote and directed Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005), co-wrote and directed Iron Man 3 (2013).

102. Harry Gregson-Williams was offered the job of scoring the film, but he had to turn it down due to scheduling conflicts with The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008).

103. The film had a torturous development process. Stuart Gordon was originally going to direct in 1990 when the rights were held by Universal Pictures, though nothing came of that. In 1996, Twentieth Century Fox acquired the rights with Nicolas Cage expressing an interest in the project. Two years later, it hadn't moved on so Tom Cruise tried to kickstart a production, to the extent of commissioning a script by Stan Lee and Jeff Vintar. Jeffrey Caine then did a polish on the screenplay. Still nothing. In 1999, Quentin Tarantino was approached to see if he could move things along but that too came to nothing. The rights moved to New Line Cinema in 2000 with Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, and Tim McCanlies writing a screenplay (this version even featured a cameo by Nick Fury). New Line Cinema started talking to Joss Whedon about directing, but this didn't pan out. By 2004, Nick Cassavetes was attached as director, but when this too failed, the rights reverted back to Marvel.

104. According to Phil Saunders, Tony Stark would develop a Mark IV armor, which would have been used in the final battle. This Mark IV armor would become the War Machine armor, and had swap-out armaments that would be worn over the Mark III armor. However, halfway through pre-production, the concept was removed from the script.

105. Property master Russell Bobbitt won Hamilton's "Behind the Camera Award 2008" for the props he created on this movie.

106. An early draft of the script (before Marvel Studios was making its own movies) would've kept Howard Stark alive, and had him adopt the War Machine identity as the film's antagonist.

107. Composer Ramin Djawadi's favorite musical score is the "Kickass" theme, because he composed it according to "a rhythm very much like a machine."

108. Louis Leterrier was interested in directing this film, but opted for The Incredible Hulk (2008) when Jon Favreau was given the job.

109. Robert Downey, Jr., Terrence Howard's father, Terrence Howard, Faran Tahir, Ramin Djawadi, and visual effects expert Stan Winston are fans of Iron Man.

110. The terrorist organization "Ten Rings" is a reference to Iron Man villain Mandarin, who wears ten rings imbued with superhuman abilities. Mandarin appeared in Iron Man 3 (2013), albeit in a radically different iteration from the comics.

111. Each Marvel superhero movie has a main theme: -This movie and sequels - Weaponry and technology. -The Incredible Hulk (2008) - Mutation and nuclear power. -Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) and sequels - Experimentation and espionage. -Thor (2011) and sequels - Mythology and religion. -Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) - Extra-terrestrial life and cosmic beings. -Ant-Man (2015) - Telepathy and control of animals. -Doctor Strange (2016) - Magic and witchcraft. -The Avengers (2012) - Alien Invasion. -Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) - Artificial Intelligence.

112. Len Wiseman was originally slated to direct.

113. According to The Cannon Group, Inc. co-owner, producer Yoram Globus, in the 1980s, along with Captain America, Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987), Spider-Man, and Masters of the Universe (1987), The Cannon Group, Inc. also had an Iron Man movie in production. The Cannon Group, Inc. wanted Tom Selleck to play Tony Stark. They also wanted the costume house that made the RoboCop (1987) suit to build the Iron Man costume.

114. This was the only movie for Terrence Howard to play Lieutenant Colonel James "Rhodey" Rhodes. However, Howard opted to not go forward with the character (reportedly for financial reasons) so Don Cheadle was brought in to assume the role commencing with Iron Man 2 (2010).

115. CAMEO: Stan Lee: (At around one hour and eight minutes) Comic writer Stan Lee appears at Tony Stark's party playing the role of Hugh Hefner, accompanied by three blonde women. Lee later mentioned that it was his most fun cameo.

116. Brian Michael Bendis had written three pages of dialogue for the Nick Fury scene, out of which the filmmakers chose the best lines. To keep it a secret, the scene was filmed with a skeleton crew, and was omitted from all previews of the film, which thus maintained the mystery and surprise, and kept fans speculative and interested. It conclusively appeared in the final cut as a post-credits scene.

117. When presented at the movie's end with the cover story by S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Coulson that Iron Man is employed by Tony Stark to act as his bodyguard, Stark dismisses it as "pretty flimsy". In the Iron Man comics, this was precisely the cover that Tony Stark used to protect his identity until 2002, when Stark went public with his identity as Iron Man.

118. According to Jeff Bridges, Obadiah Stane was originally supposed to survive the final battle against Tony, with Stark opening up Stane's destroyed suit to find that there was no corpse inside. Presumably this would have poised Stane to return for future movies.

119. The Iron Monger was the prototype of Tony Stark"s Mark 1 iron Man suit
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